JokoJokes

Lifted Trucks Jokes

9 lifted trucks jokes and hilarious lifted trucks puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifted trucks that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Share These Lifted Trucks Jokes With Friends




Lifted Trucks Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good lifted trucks joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

A car broke down on a Native Reservation...

...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."

Farmer tries to breed pigs

A farmer bought some breeding pigs, but after several weeks, not one was pregnant. He called the vet for help. "Why don't you try artificial insemination" said the vet.
The farmer didn't have an inkling of what artificial insemination was, but, not wanting to appear ignorant, he said, "Okay, Doc, but how will I know when the pigs are pregnant?"
"Easy. When they lie down and wallow in the mud." The farmer hung up and came to the conclusion that artificial insemination must mean that he has to impregnate those pigs himself.
So he loaded them onto his truck, drove them out into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and then went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs.
Since they were all still standing around, he concluded that his first attempt didn't take, so he loaded them into the truck again, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed. The next morning he woke up and checked the pigs. They are still just standing around.
"Once more," he told himself, and loaded them onto the truck, drove them into the woods, had s**... with each of them, brought them back to the farm, and went to bed.
The next morning, he can't even lift himself off the bed. He asked his wife to see if the pigs are wallowing in the mud yet.
"Nope," she said. "They're all in the back of the truck and one of them is honking the horn!"

Why don't city boys drive lifted trucks?

Swaos

A crisp was walking down a road

A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"

So I'm at a protest right now

And in front of the crowd there's a lifted truck revving it's engine and on the windshield there's a banner that says All Lives Splatter . Should I be worried?

Why do r**... use lift kits on their trucks?

They don't have any other way to get it up.

A 54 year old woman had a heart atack.

She was taken to the hospital for surgery. While on the operating table she had a near death experience. Seeing God she asked "Is my time up yet?" God said, "No, you have another 34 years to live". Upon recovery the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, tummy tuck, and changed her hair color. Finally she was released from the hospital. While crossing the road on her way home she was killed by a truck. Arriving in front of God in heaven she asked "You said I had another 34 years to live, why didn't you save me from the truck?" God said "I could not recognize you"

Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down.


He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck.
He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking.
A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do.
He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him.
The windows roll down and smoke pours out.
He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles.
The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?"
He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them.
The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"

A truck driver amused himself by running over lawyers as they walked down the side of the road.


Every time he saw a lawyer walking along the road, he would swerve to hit him. There would be a loud "thud", and then he would swerve back on the road. 
As the truck driver drove along one day, he saw a priest hitch hiking, he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
The priest said he was on his way to his church up the road. 
"I'll give you a lift."
The priest climbed into the passenger seat and the truck driver continued down the road.
Suddenly, the truck driver saw a lawyer walking down the road and instinctively swerved to hit him.
At the last minute, he remembered he had a priest in the truck and swerved back onto the road.
Even though he knew he missed the lawyer, he still heard a loud "thud."
Unsure of where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors.
When he didn't see anything, he turned to the priest and said, "I'm sorry, Father. I almost hit a lawyer."
The priest replied, "That's OK, I got him with the door."

Share These Lifted Trucks Jokes With Friends