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Lifted Jokes

72 lifted jokes and hilarious lifted puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifted that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article is about the hilarious side of lifted truck culture. With slide-in slides, gowns flapping in the wind and leaps that defy gravity, these tales of extraordinary feats will have you laughing out loud. Read on to find out why lifted jokes are the funniest jokes around!

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Funniest Lifted Short Jokes

Short lifted jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lifted humour may include short lifts jokes also.

  1. In Britain we call it a "lift" but Americans call it an "elevator". I guess we're just raised differently.
  2. Why do they call them lifts in the UK & elevators in the US? Because we're raised differently.
  3. Wife: "Can you pick up milk?" Me: *lifts gallon*
    "Yeah, it's easy."
    Wife: "I mean from the store."
    Me: "I'd imagine it weigh the same there too"
  4. In the UK we call them lifts but in the US they call them elevators Because we're raised differently.
  5. My grandfather is really frustrated that he has to use the chair lift to go upstairs. It is driving him up the wall.
  6. The worst part about online dating is when the girl lists her weight as 115lbs, but when you're lifting her to put her in your trunk, she's obviously well over 140.
  7. Recently, i decided to quit my job at the construction place because i couldn't deal with the heavy lifting. I gave them my too weak notice yesterday.
  8. The guy who invented the USB connector died... They lowered the coffin into his grave.
    Then they lifted it back out, turned it round, and lowered it back in again.
  9. Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.
  10. I can't lift a ton of chicken soup but I can lift a ton of pho. Because a pho ton is light.

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Lifted One Liners

Which lifted one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lifted? I can suggest the ones about lowered and pulled.

  1. What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift
  2. How does a booze thief make you feel better? He lifts your spirits.
  3. I rented some heavy lifting equipment in Kiev from a company called You crane.
  4. What happens when the smog lifts from Los Angeles? UCLA
  5. Why did the ghost get in the elevator? To lift his spirits.
  6. I don't like sex on lifts. I am taking steps to avoid it.
  7. What do ghosts do when they're sad? They get in an elevator to lift their spirits.
  8. What happens when the smog lifts in Los Angeles? U.C.L.A
  9. What did the Wonderbra say to the regular bra? Do you even lift?
  10. I just set my new dead lifting record. 3 corpses.
  11. Why does a flamingo lift up one leg? Because if it lifted up both it would fall over
  12. Why was the kleptomaniac clown visiting the liquor store? He was lifting their spirits
  13. What bird can lift the most? A crane
  14. Why do ghosts like to ride the elevator? It lifts their spirits
    happy spoopy day
  15. I'm not saying my wife is fat... but I struggle to lift her photograph

Lifted Truck Jokes

Here is a list of funny lifted truck jokes and even better lifted truck puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Why don't city boys drive lifted trucks? Swaos
  • A crisp was walking down a road A truck driver drives past and asks if they want a lift
    The crisp responds "No thanks, we're Walkers!"
  • So I'm at a protest right now And in front of the crowd there's a lifted truck revving it's engine and on the windshield there's a banner that says All Lives Splatter . Should I be worried?
  • Why do r**... use lift kits on their trucks? They don't have any other way to get it up.
Lifted joke, Why do r**... use lift kits on their trucks?

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about lifted can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of lifted puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical & Quirky Lifted Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about lifted you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean leaned jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make lifted prank.

Oversexed husband

A woman is telling her friend, "My husband is so oversexed, everything little I do seems to turn him on. Yesterday he saw me holding a cucumber and he lifted up my skirt and took me from behind right on the spot."
The friend says, "And you're complaining? I think that sounds great!"
"Well, me too, but the Safeway manager didn't think so."

I said, "Did it hurt?"

She looked puzzled, so I continued. "Did it hurt when you fell from heaven?" She lifted her head slightly and whispered, "Please... call... an ambulance..."
That's when I looked up and realized she's actually fallen out of a window.

Texas: The Miracle State

At the urging of his doctor, Bill moved to Texas.
After settling in, he met a neighbor who was also an older man.
"Say, is this really a healthy place?"
"It sure is," the man replied.
"When I first arrived here I couldn't say one word. I had hardly any hair on my head. I didn't have the strength to walk across a room and I had to be lifted out of bed."
"That's wonderful!" said Bill. "How long have you been here?"
"I was born here."

I lost a few pounds today,...

but when I lifted up my shirt I found them again.

African conservationists call for the ban on hunting hippopotamus to be lifted, citing environmental concerns.

To me the whole thing seems so hippocritical.

My friend has been hiding something.

I was cleaning my friend's room for him the other day and moved a pile of clothes off of the floor and into the hamper. To my surprise, when I lifted them, I found a perfectly gelled, expertly trimmed mustache on the ground, I saw him the next day and confronted him about my discovery. ''You got me.'' he said... I had just found his secret stache.

A car broke down on a Native Reservation...

...so the driver got out to see what was going on. He lifted the hood, looked in, and noticed there was something wrong with the motor piston. Without any tools or cell service, he sighed, shut the hood and leaned on his car and waited for a passerby. Finally, a truck came around the bend so he waved it down and the truck pulled over. Inside was a few Native Americans, and asked, "what's wrong?"
"Piston broke", he replied.
"So are we. Get in."

Why did o**... kill his wife?

When he lifted her skirt, he saw *bush* .

Two Men Were Hunting Buffalo

One put his ear to the ground
He lifted his head up and said "Buffalo come"
The other said "How do you know?"
He said "ear sticky"

My father owned a body removal business

He lifted a lot of dead weight

I was feeling depressed, so I drank some brandy and went to the gym

That really lifted my spirits

Do you know why I love working out?

Because I always feel like a weight has been lifted.

What did the man get when he shop lifted a calander?

12 months

I just cancelled my gym membership

I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off of my shoulders.

I've started competing in discus meets

I almost won a trophy yesterday. I threw the discus really far, but this other competitor named Gus got my throw erased. He said my throw got lifted by a burst of wind, so he went to the track officials.
This Gus discussed his disgust on the discus.

A worm munches himself into the center of a cucumber.

He keeps eating the delicious cucumber center when all of a sudden he feels himself lifted into the sky and t**... into a jar. He peaks out of the cucumber to see a bunch of other cucumbers. All of a sudden he sees liquid being poured inside the jar.
He crawled back inside his cucumber grave where he thought to himself "I'm really in a pickle this time."

I just cancelled my overpriced gym membership

I feel like I've finally lifted a huge weight off my chest

What is it a man does standing, a woman does sitting and a dog does with one leg lifted?

Shake hands

A man is sunbathing on a n**... beach

To prevent a sunburn, he covers his most important o**... with a hat.
A woman passes by and notices the hat.
She says, "Sir, a real gentleman always lifts his hat in front of a lady."
The man replies, "Ma'am if you were a real lady, the hat would've lifted itself."

A guy regains consciousness in hospital with a golf clup imbedded in his skull.

The doctor acked him if he can remember what happened.
"Well, I remember I was playing golf with my wife. She sliced her tee shot into the cow paddock next to the fairway. We looked for her ball for a while but couldn't find it. On the off-chance, I lifted a cows' tail, and sure enough there was a ball lodged there. I turned and said to my wife, 'honey, this looks like yours', next thing I know I'm in here..."

Why was the man happy when his glass of wine started levitating?

Because his spirits were lifted!

I'm made out of pure dynamite!

An elder couple wakes up together and kiss each other a good morning.
After that, the man stands up, picks up his weights and starts lifting them.
The man says: "Do you see this? I'm made out of pure dynamite!"
His wife looks up, with one eyebrow lifted, and says: "Too bad about the short fuse..."
(I hope it's clear because my English isn't so great)

My dad lifted me off of the ground.

Me: Put me down.
Dad: You're s**....

Today, I lost my head

It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders

At a gender reveal party, a box is lifted to reveal a glass of water.

The crowd goes wild and break
into a thunderous applause.
The gender is fluid.

As soon as the stay at home order is lifted...

I'm going to turn in all my bottle returns and buy a yacht

What if I lifted a pack of Coca-Cola over my head for twenty minutes a day every day?

That would be soda pressing.

I'm not old. I woke up, I lifted my arms, I moved my knees, I turned my neck. Everything made the same noise: Crrrrrraaaaaaccccckkkk!

So I've come to the conclusion that I'm not old, I'm crispy!

Do you know what happened to the cow that was lifted into the air by a tornado?

It was an udder disaster.

Saturday afternoon

I was sitting in my lawn chair, drinking beer and watching my pregnant wife mow the lawn. The neighbor lady from
across the street was so outraged that she came over and shouted at me:
"You should be hung."
I took a drink from Corona, wiped the cold foam from my lips, lifted my darkened sunglasses and stared directly at this nosey neighbor and then calmly replied:
"I am, that's why she cuts the grass."

I was feeling very rundown and tired when suddenly a muscular little person grabbed both of my legs and lifted me into the air with ease. I instantly felt refreshed!

I guess I just needed a little pick-me-up.

After 4 months without the gym I finally went back and a great weight was lifted off my shoulders

After they removed the weight, the paramedics then took me to the hospital for extensive surgery.

I made a clone of Patrick Stewart but something went terribly wrong.

The clone slammed me into a wall and lifted me by the neck. What could I do? I'd been hoisted by my own Picard.

Madam, we brought your husband. He is very drunk,every time we lifted him he fell again.

w**..., where is his wheelchair?!

The Scotsman

A Scotsman was walking down the street in his traditional Scottish attire when he saw a couple of women talking and giggling,
As he approached one of the women asked " is it true the you dont wear anything under your kilt?"
"Aye, why dont you have a peek and find out for yourself"
So the woman lifted his kilt just enough to see his "business" and said "oh thats gruesome"
The Scotsman replied "I think if you'll check again, you'll see its grew some more"
First post, heard this in a song recently, got a good chuckle from it personally
I think it helps to read with a Scottish accent

Two men were setting off to canoe

As two men were just about to set off on a canoeing trip.
One man turned to the other and said.
"Hey could you hand me that paddle?"
The other man lifted the two "This one?"
"Either oar"

I cheered up my friend with necromancy

It really lifted his spirits.

The Last Fight

The battle was long, perilous, and gruesome. The twins made it through nearly three quarters of the enemy battalion before reaching the final lines of the fray. They saw the end stretching over the thin horizon.
With their dwindling energy, they let out another strained cry for battle, and lifted their chipped tools, charging nearly head first into death.
The final line proved too brutal for their torn souls, slipping from the elbows of war and plunging hard into the revolting, fetid puddle beneath them.
This is the last time I wear long sleeves while doing dishes.

A married couple were walking through a garden

when suddenly a dog ran towards them.
They both knew it will bite them..
The husband lifted his wife to let the dog bite him rather than his sweetheart.
The dog stopped before them, unsure what to do, barked a little and ran away.
The husband put his wife down, expecting a hug and a few kind words of gratitude from her.
But his wife shouted, I've seen people throwing stones & sticks at dogs, this is the first time I see someone trying to throw his wife at a dog
Moral : No one else can misunderstand a Husband better than a Wife

I stopped going to the gym recently.

It felt like a huge weight had been lifted off me.

Pregnant

"Oh, Mom!" sobbed Mary, "I'm pregnant!" "What? How could you?" screamed the mother, "And just who is the father?" The daughter lifted up her tearful face and wailed, "How should I know? You're the one who would never let me go steady!"

I went into the barbers today and asked to have my hair cut like Tom Cruise....

He lifted me up and sat me on a cushion...

Mark went for a walk in the park.

As he strolled up the path he heard someone shout, "Mark!"
He stopped and turned his head, and heard it again. "Mark!"
There was nobody around except for an old man on a bench with his dog, so he walked closer.
"Mark! Mark!" said the dog, tugging on its leash in the man's hands.
Mark was taken aback. "You.. you know my name?! ..and can ***talk***?"
"Oh?" the man lifted his head. "I'm sorry, she can't pronounce her B's".

A bald magician pulled a rabbit out of a hat. Then he put the rabbit right on top of his head and gently lowered the hat down over the rabbit until the rabbit was completely covered. After a couple seconds of wearing the hat, the magician quickly lifted the hat back up, and presto!

there wasn't a hare on his head

I let go a silent f**... in bed last night and gently lifted the sheet to let it escape, my wife shrieked 'Oh my god, that's disgusting! My eyes are watering'...

Must have been bad, she was downstairs at the time

A biologist, a physicist and a statistician went hunting

After a good, long while, they found a deer.
The physicist lifted his rifle, took aim, fired, and hit three feet to the left of the animal.
The biologist fired too, and sent the bullet three feet to the right of the deer.
The statistician lifted his rifle triumphantly in the air, and exclaimed: 'We got it!'

I lifted my 100KG weights ten times today

That was a ton of heavy lifting

At the last supper Jesus lifted the bread and spoke, "This is my body."

He then lifted the wine and said, "This is my blood."
He lifted a jar of mayo...
Peter: "Okay, that's enough!"

Lifted joke, At the last supper Jesus lifted the bread and spoke, "This is my body."

jokes about lifted

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these lifted jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.