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Lifetime Supply Jokes

22 lifetime supply jokes and hilarious lifetime supply puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifetime supply that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lifetime Supply Short Jokes

Short lifetime supply jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lifetime supply humour may include short lifetime jokes also.

  1. My friend and I signed up to win a lifetime supply of skin lotion. He won and I didn't The worst part is that he keeps rubbing it in.
  2. When our little girl was sick in hospital we bought her a lifetime supply of crayons. It cost $3.
  3. Contest Emcee: Congratulations! You just won a lifetime supply of Ramen Noodles! Me: Can I just take the $20 instead?
  4. Last night I bought my friend a lifetime supply of peach Ice Cream He has cancer, in Hospice, and the Doctors have given him two weeks tops.
  5. I wish my parents would have named me "Sale" I'd have a lifetime supply of free homes & cars...
  6. I remember once I was forced to choose between Dwayne Johnson and a lifetime supply of frozen fish. I was stuck between a Rock and a hard plaice.
  7. Why don't old people like shopping at Costco? Because anything they buy is likely to be a lifetime supply.
  8. If you had to choose between having a love life, or a lifetime supply of pudding: How much chocolate pudding would you eat that first day?
  9. Congradulations, you have won a lifetime-supply of batteries from He Man's new company: The Power of Greyskull
  10. Did you hear about the man who won a lifetime supply of m**... Lotion. He hit the jackpot.

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Lifetime Supply One Liners

Which lifetime supply one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lifetime supply? I can suggest the ones about life support and longevity.

  1. A lifetime supply of mcdonalds is actually pretty short
  2. how much is a life-time supply of fast food? Not much.
  3. I won a lifetime supply of calendars! But so far they've only sent me two and a half.
  4. I won a lifetime supply of rope yesterday It's 10 feet long!

Gather Around for Fun Lifetime Supply Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about lifetime supply you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean life expectancy jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lifetime supply pranks.

A Vampire died and was in the process of being reincarnated...

They asked him, "What would you like to have in your next lifetime?"
"Drinking blood is good but I don't like hunting, ideally I'd like to have a easy supply of fresh blood."
"Alright."
"I also like turning into a bat and flying, so let me retain wings.", he said.
"Noted."
"One last thing, my dark complexion seems to scare people too much, can I turn into something white?"
"Sure thing."
**p**...**
He became a m**... pad.

My dryer kidnapped my socks and held them for ransom

But I refused to comply, and the poor little b**... were forced to reproduce for months. I now have a lifetime supply.

The bear and the rabbit

A rabbit is minding his own business when a random bear comes and treat ens to eat the rabbit. The bear chases the rabbit until they find a magic lamp and they decide to rub it together. The expected gene appears and let's them both have 3 wishes each. The bear goes first and says " I wish for all the other bears in the forest to be females" and it was done. The rabbit then wishes for a lifetime supply of carrots at his house and it is granted. The bear then says " I want all the other bears in the country to be female" and it is granted. The rabbit's second wish is for a rabbit sized motorcycle and it is granted. Now the bear very confused about why the rabbit is wishing for such small things says " And for my last wish, I want all the other bears in the world to be female!". The gene grants the wish. The rabbit then says with a smile on his face "I wish that bear was gay." then drives off in his motorcycle.

Hobo paint job

A hobo comes up to the front door of a neat looking farmhouse and raps gently on the door. When the farm owner answers, the hobo asks him, "Please, sir, could you give me something to eat? I haven't had a good meal in several days."
The owner says, "I have made a fortune in my lifetime by supplying goods for people. I've never given anything away for nothing. However, if you go around the back, you will see a gallon of paint and a clean paint brush. If you will paint my porch, I will give you a good meal."
So the hobo goes around back and a while later he again knocks on the door. The owner says, "Finished already? Good. Come on in. Sit down. The cook will bring your meal right in."
The hobo says, "Thank you very much, sir. But there's something that I think you should know. It's not a Porsche you got there. It's a BMW."