The Best 8 Lifespan Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lifespan jokes. There are some lifespan lives jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lifespan lifelong puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lifespan Jokes and Puns

Apparently, drinking a pint of beer shortens your lifespan by nine minutes.

According to my calculations I died some time in 1829.

Known as the "one-day insect" the Mayfly has the shortest lifespan of all organisms...

But it still lives longer than my headphones.

What's the average lifespan of an owl?

About six and a half books.

A little girl came up to me today and said she was having a midlife crisis.

I chuckled and said "Don't be silly! How old are you?"

She said "6"

I laughed and said, "Then how are you going through a midlife crisis if you are only 6?"

She said "Well my mom is antivaxx, so I'm unvaccinated."

"Don't be ridiculous!" I said. "A midlife crisis means you're in the middle of your lifespan right now, while right now you'll probably be dead in a week."

What is the lifespan of an owl?

6 1/2 books.


What it the lifespan of an alcoholic?

It depends on the liver.

What is the average lifespan of an owl?

A little over 6 books.

Whenever you drink a beer you shorten your lifespan by 9 minutes

I've done the calculations. I died in 1623.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lifespan expectancy jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lifespan length piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes