Lifesavers Jokes

7 lifesavers jokes and hilarious lifesavers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifesavers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Comical Lifesavers Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What is a good lifesavers joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

I heard he made a mint.

Two homosexuals bumped into each other one day in Bondi Junction.

After their customary intimate greeting, one of them asked the other, "Fabian, have you stopped smoking?"
When Fabian replied in the affirmative, his chum asked him how he had managed to kick the habit.
Explained Fabian, "It was easy really. Everytime I felt like a cigarette, I`d just s**... on a lifesaver."
Replied his friend, "Well - lucky you live near the beach."

A German lifesaver carries a dog that nearly drowned from the beach...

He plopped it down on the sand and did CPR, as the dog's owner watched nervously from aside.
The dog spat out water and stood up— the lifesaver saved it.
"Oh my goodness, thank you so much for saving my dog!" the owner said, "Are you a vet?"
"Vet? VET???" the German excalimed, "I'M LITERALLY SOAKING!"

A mailman walks up to a house...

He sees a pig with a wooden leg. When the owner answers the door, the mailman asks why the pig has a wooden leg.
"Well, you see, that pig is a life-saver."
"That doesn't explain why he has a wooden leg."
"A couple nights ago, our house caught on fire. That pig dragged every one out of the house- even the dog."
"Okay, but that still doesn't explain the leg."
"Well, with a pig that great, you can't eat him all at once!"

The world is ending tomorrow and you have 10 bucks. What do you buy?

A pack of Lifesavers

What can a roll of Life-Savers do that a man can't?

Come in five different colors and flavors.

Sadie and Myrtle are chatting over coffee.

Sadie: Oy, I have a sore t**....
Myrtle: Whenever I get a sore t**..., I s**... on a lifesaver.
Sadie: Easy for you, you live near the beach.

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