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Lifelike Jokes

8 lifelike jokes and hilarious lifelike puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifelike that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Hilarious Lifelike Jokes that Bring Laughter with Friends

What is a good lifelike joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Emergency flashers

Yesterday, I had a flat tire on the interstate. So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out of the car and opened the trunk.
I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so lifelike you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their n**... bodies and private parts to the approaching drivers.
But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my cardboard cutouts. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody tooted their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a state trooper pulled up behind me.
He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper!
"What's going on here?"
"My car has a flat tire," I said calmly.
"Well, what are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?"
I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him, "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!

Rabbits died

My neighbor's pair of pet rabbits died unexpectedly within hours of each other. She was distraught. I suggested she go to my friend the taxidermist. When she arrived, my friend tried to console her and she asked him if he could create a memorial. "Of course", he replied. He explained that he could stuff them and they would almost look lifelike. He asked if she would like them mounted.
"No" she said, "holding paws would be fine."

I bought a lifelike blow up s**... doll, it was so realistic it was like the real thing, I got carried away and gave it a love bite.

It f**... and went down on me.

I saw a really lifelike portrait of Donald Trump the other day...

... it was really freaky how the hands followed you around the room.

My buddy makes counterfeit life-like paintings of Mongolian battle scenes

He's a real Khan artist.

What woman is extremely s**... appealing and lifelike on the outside, but is completely dead on the inside?

A taxidermists daughter that passed away at birth.

A giant music concert promoter is planning to take a life-like, four-dimensional hologram of Michael Jackson on a world concert tour...

Our thoughts and prayers go out to nearby venue-area hospitals.

I had a flat tire the other day...

I had a flat tire on the I-95 yesterday; so, I pulled over, got out of the car and opened my trunk.
I took out my cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing oncoming traffic.
They look so lifelike you wouldn't believe it!
Just as I had hoped, cars started slowing down looking at the men which made it much safer for me to work
on the side of the road.
People honked and waved, and it wasn't long before a police car pulled up behind me.
He wanted to know what the heck I was doing, so I calmly explained that I was changing my flat.
He told me he could see that, but demanded to know what the heck the n**... cardboard men were
doing standing at the rear of my car.
I couldn't believe he didn't know!
So I told him .... "Well, I explained to the angry Policeman ....
They're my Emergency Flashers!!!!"
I go to court in August.

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