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Lifeless Jokes

10 lifeless jokes and hilarious lifeless puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lifeless that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Silly Lifeless Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What is a good lifeless joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...

"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.
That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."
"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.
"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

Why is life in North Korea so lifeless?

Cause it lost it's Seoul!

I'll give up my thesaurus...

when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.

A man can't decide what to get his girlfriend, a florist, for her birthday.

He goes all around town in search for a gift when he discovers a lovely garden of flowers. Because his wife loves flowers, he decides to pick out a lovely bouquet of daisies, roses and dandelions. The garden is empty and lifeless when he leaves that day.
When the day of his girlfriend's birthday arrives he gives her the handpicked bouquet of the flowers. The girl blushes and says Oh, thank you honey! These flowers are so pretty! They almost make me forget that someone destroyed my garden!

Vladimir Putin announces russia wants to build a moon base

The idea is that russian astronauts will live there permanently. When the astronauts were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty wasteland, they said:
"No. That's why we want go to the moon."

The only thing worse than a woman who's completely lifeless in bed..

.. Is getting caught with the body

Why does a redditor carve a pumpkin?

To distract himself from the fact that he is too, just a lifeless round object putting on a fake smile when another person is near.

A m**... has been committed.
Police are called to an apartment and find a man standing, holding a 5-iron in his hands, looking at the lifeless body of a woman on the ground.
The detective asks, "Sir, is that your wife?"
"Yes."
"Did you hit her with that golf club?"
"Yes. Yes, I did," the man answers. He stifles a s**..., drops the club and puts his hands on his head.
"How many times did you hit her?"
"I don't know. Five...six ...put me down for a five."

A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will his life be better.

Guy: How will my future be?
FT: Till you're 42, you'll suffer thinking about your life getting ruined, cleaned out, agonized, strapped, tortured, penniless, distressed, dirt poor, tormented, wasted, unproductive, exhausted, dried up and living a lifeless life.
Guy: So what happens after 42.
FT: You'll stop thinking about it.

Lifeless joke, A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will h

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Lifeless joke, A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will h

Lifeless joke, A 30 year old jobless, homeless, broke guy went to a palm reading fortune teller to know when will h