The Best 11 Lifeless Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lifeless jokes. There are some lifeless barren jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lifeless horror puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lifeless Jokes and Puns

Vladimir Putin has boasted that Russia is planning to build a base on the moon. The idea is that astronauts will live there permanently. When they were asked if they really wanted to spend the rest of their lives in a barren, lifeless, empty landscape, the Russians said...

"No. That's why we want to go to the moon."

My dog came bounding into the house this morning with the neighbour's rabbit hanging lifeless from it's jaws.

Panic set in and so I scrubbed it clean and got all the blood marks off until it was pure white again. I then sneaked into their garden and popped it back in its hutch.

That evening my neighbour knocked at my door and said "I can't believe it, flopsy is lying dead in its hutch and the kids are hysterical."

"Sorry to hear that" I replied nervously.

"The strange thing is" he said "we buried it a couple of days ago."

Why is life in North Korea so lifeless?

Cause it lost it's Seoul!

Lifeless joke, Why is life in North Korea so lifeless?

I'll give up my thesaurus...

when you pry it from my frosty, frozen, lifeless, stiff extremities.

A man can't decide what to get his girlfriend, a florist, for her birthday.

He goes all around town in search for a gift when he discovers a lovely garden of flowers. Because his wife loves flowers, he decides to pick out a lovely bouquet of daisies, roses and dandelions. The garden is empty and lifeless when he leaves that day.

When the day of his girlfriend's birthday arrives he gives her the handpicked bouquet of the flowers. The girl blushes and says Oh, thank you honey! These flowers are so pretty! They almost make me forget that someone destroyed my garden!


The only thing worse than a woman who's completely lifeless in bed..

.. Is getting caught with the body

2 detectives were looking over Juan's murdered, lifeless body..

when one detective says " it looks like he was killed by a golf gun". The other detective said "what's a golf gun?" The other says " I dunno, but it sure made a hole in Juan."

Lifeless joke, 2 detectives were looking over Juan's murdered, lifeless body..

I like my women like I like my Artificial Intelligence:

Cold and lifeless.

What's the difference between Putin and a Mummy?

One's old and lifeless, the other's cold and wifeless!

What do you call your lifeless irani friend?

iranimate

I tried out necrophilia for awhile

The relationships felt so lifeless

You can explore lifeless sadism reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lifeless necrophiles dad jokes. There are also lifeless puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lifeless horrible jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lifeless sadistic piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes