Following is our collection of Life Insurance jokes which are very funny. There are some life insurance jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these life insurance puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Neither because they live in America.
His answer? "Because I want you to be truly sad when I'm gone" :(
Asks the grandson. Grandpa laughs and says: "I want you guys to be really sad when I die."
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, HIV."
The owner doesn't have insurance so his life is pretty much ruined.
He never drank, nor smoked. He never had sex and never indulged in anything unhealthy.
The Life Insurance Company refused the claim on the note that 'How can someone have died if he had never lived in the first place?'
One pence
It's easier to collect life insurance than child support.
Does Lightning McQueen get car insurance or life insurance?
Just one bill.
She killed herself for life insurance
You can explore life insurance health insurance reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean life insurance dad jokes. There are also life insurance puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
I'm sure it's gonna be a booming business.
It makes me happy knowing that now my life is worth something.
The other guys insurance company isn't too happy about it though.
My husband is on the roof - only a few inches away from an insurance claim that could completely change my life.
I replied, "I thought you already bought life insurance."
He was trying to collect on his life insurance policy.
....To protect his ASSETS!
Because they are already dead inside.
Life insurance
The employee working at the insurance company asks:
'How old are you, sir?'
'I'm 102.'
'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'
'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'
'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'
'He's 139.'
'Okay, come back next week then.'
'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'
'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'
'He's 164.'
'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'
'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'
Life insurance policies.
A lepper-con
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.
I want to have a life insurance policy.β
Perplexed by the old man, the insurer asks: βSorry for the indiscretion, but why do you want to make life insurance?β
βYou know my son I will travel with my father in Europe.β
Even more perplexed the insurer, asks: "Again, sorry, but how old is your father?β
β127. β
β127? And what will you do in Europe?β
He answers: βWe will go to the wedding of my grandfather.β
Even more shocked the insurer asks: βAnd how old is your grandfather?β
βHe is β¦ Oh, 150.β
And the insurer ready to hear everything now, asks: βOh well, how come your grandfather wants to get married at this age?β
βBullshit, you know his parents are pressing him!β
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the life insurance jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working life insurance piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.