The Best 23 Lieutenant Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Lieutenant jokes. There are some lieutenant corporal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lieutenant captain puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Lieutenant Jokes and Puns

Why did lieutenant Uhura smell bad?

...because William Shatner

What military rank do you hold while using a pay toilet?


How does Boomhower describe the Genitals of the Lieutenant from the Reno Police Department?

Dang ol' Dangle dangle.

Lieutenant joke, How does Boomhower describe the Genitals of the Lieutenant from the Reno Police Department?

What did the Lieutenant say before one of his soldiers died?

Drop dead and give me 20!

What do you call a lieutenant on the run from the law?

...a Warrant Officer.

What did the lieutenant vulture say to the enlisted vultures who stopped eating a dead cow to salute?


Dad joke about phones....

A phone call comes through to a families home and the son looks at it and yells "Dad should I take this"

The dad yells back "who is it calling?"

Son: "It says private caller"

Dad: "Don't answer!! We only take calls from lieutenant callers or higher!!"

Lieutenant joke, Dad joke about phones....

The phone rings, and Dad asks: What does the caller ID say?

Mom: It's a private caller.

Dad: Don't answer that. We only pick up for ranks Lieutenant Caller and higher.

General Custer is addressing his men at the Little Bighorn. He says "well boys, I've got some good news and some bad news."

"The bad news is that the Sioux are camped right down the hill. Come morning they're going to overrun us. They'll ride roughshod over our whole company and leave us all killed, then probably mutilate our corpses beyond recognition when they're done."

His lieutenant asks, "what's the good news General?"

Custer says "Well, we won't have to ride through Nebraska again."

What did the General say to the Lieutenant who was supposed to be putting mortar shells in?

"Comrade, stop Stalin, and start Putin!"

What do you call someone who lives in a bathroom?

A lieutenant.

You can explore lieutenant sarge reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lieutenant officer dad jokes. There are also lieutenant puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why did Lieutenant Uhura tone down on the use of extreme fetishes in the bedroom?

Because William Shatner.

Did you hear about the lieutenant that had to watch a corn field?

He's a colonel now

Where Did Lieutenant Paul Armstrong Go During The Bomb Strikes In WW2


A rather drunk lieutenant formed up the platoon:

"Soldiers, why is the formation so crooked?"
"Because the Earth is round!" - someone called out.
"Who said that?"
"Galileo, step forward!"
"But he has died long ago!"
"So then?! People here are dying, and no one is reporting this to me?"

*Joke was translated from Bulgarian*

What did Lieutenant Dan say after getting his new legs blown off?

"Oh, the iron knee!"

Note: Old joke I made up and told friends in high school, before realizing his new legs are not actually made of iron. Hope the joke is still amusing though

Lieutenant joke, What did Lieutenant Dan say after getting his new legs blown off?

What do you call a person who lives in a toilet?

A lieutenant.

I'll show myself out.

What did Lieutenant Worf find in Captain Pickard's private bathroom?

The captain's log.

A seasoned general, surveying the battlefield with his lieutenant, sees an enemy soldier with his arm in a hole full of water

"Let's avoid him", the general says to the lieutentant. "He's well-armed."

Why was a Lieutenant Colonel of the US army music program fired, along with one of his direct subordinates?

He was caught fingering A Major.

I'll never forget the time in Iraq when the order came to fix bayonets.

I said, "Lieutenant, we are surrounded and running low on ammo. I don't think now is the right time for equipment maintenance."

I heard Orville Redenbacher served in the Army.

They called the guy under him "Lieutenant Kernel".

What did Lieutenant Worf say when he made rainbow T-shirts with his son?

Today *is* a good day to dye!

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lieutenant gymnasium jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lieutenant platoon piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes