Lieutenant Colonel Jokes
7 lieutenant colonel jokes and hilarious lieutenant colonel puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lieutenant colonel that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Great Lieutenant Colonel Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What is a good lieutenant colonel joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
How much of s**... is work?
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work . A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favor of pleasure , depending on how drunk he was at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the Private who was in charge of making the coffee. What was your opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
Did you hear about the lieutenant that had to watch a corn field?
He's a colonel now
So my mom got me a box of tin soldiers...
I smashed up my majors and tore down my generals. The dog ate my lieutenants and I lost the colonel. The sergeants were lost in uncle John's hay so now I'm stuck playing with my privates all day.
Why was a Lieutenant Colonel of the US army music program fired, along with one of his direct subordinates?
He was caught f**... A Major.
True dedicating
A USAF Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish brewing, the colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Major chimed in with 75%-25% in favor of work.
A Captain said it was 50%-50%.
A Lieutenant responded with 25%-75% in favor of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the A1C who was in charge of making the coffee and asked for his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young A1C responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure.
The colonel was surprised and as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."
The room fell silent.
Is s**... work?
A U.S. Marine Colonel was about to start the morning briefing to his
staff. While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the
colonel decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and
he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep. He posed the
question of just how much of s**... was "work" and how much of it was
"pleasure?" A Major chimed in with 25-75% in favor of work .
A Captain said it was 50-50%. A lieutenant responded with 25-75% in
favor of pleasure , depending upon his state of inebriation at the
time.
There being no consensus, the colonel turned to the PFC (Private First Class) who was in
charge of making the coffee. What was HIS opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young PFC responded, "Sir, it has to be
100% pleasure."
The colonel was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why.
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me
doing it for them."
Military Humor
I had to translate. You can help me fix it.
Lieutenant Colonel to Major:
There is a total solar eclipse coming tomorrow at 9am, which does not happen every day. Assemble all soldiers on exercise field, I will provide explanation. In the event of rain, since we won't be able to see it anyway, assemble everyone in the gymnasium.
Major to Captain:
Per Colonel's order, tomorrow at 9am there will be ceremonial solar eclipse. If there is a need for rain, Lieutenant Colonel will give a separate order in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.
Captain to Lieutenant:
Per Colonel's order tomorrow at 9am there will be solar eclipse. In the event of rain the solar eclipse will occur in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.
Lieutenant to Sergeant:
Tomorrow at 9am Colonel will perform solar eclipse in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day.
Sergeant to Corporal:
"Tomorrow at 9am there will be eclipsing of Colonel because of the sun. If it is raining in the gymnasium, which does not happen every day, assemble all soldiers on the exercise field.
Two privates talking to each other:
Seems it will rain tomorrow. The sun will eclipse Colonel in the gymnasium. I wonder why it does not happen every day.
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