The Best 27 Licks Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Licks jokes. There are some licks disgust jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these licks finger puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Licks Jokes and Puns

I like to eat out. Woman says in disbelief, but you never leave the house.

He says I know, and licks his lips.

When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a's "art" and "music".

But when I do it...I'm "wasted", and "have to leave Home Depot".

Is that dog poo?

A guy is walking down the street and sees a brown lump ahead. "Is that dog poo?" He thinks to himself.

He approaches it to examine if it is dog poo. "Well it looks like dog poo." He bends down and sniffs it. "Smells like dog poo." He grazes the substance with his finger. "Feels like dog poo." His finger scoops up a part of the poo, and he licks it. "Tastes like dog poo.... Yep, this is dog poo alright."

"Well, good thing I didn't step in it."

Licks joke, Is that dog poo?

Lick the hammer

Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer and they call it art. I do it and I get kicked out of Home Depot.

Double standards are not fair!

When miley cirus gets naked and licks hammers its beautiful and artistic, but when I do it its weird, creepy and I get a life time ban from Ikea.

Yo Mama so poor...

...that when she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken she licks other people's fingers.

When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer naked, it's art.

When I do it, I'm drunk and told to leave Home Depot.

Licks joke, When Miley Cyrus licks a sledgehammer naked, it's art.

There was a Political Drum-Off last week, sponsored by the mathletes...

Democrats and Republicans took turns showing off their best drum licks, while answering math problems in between.

Turns out the Republicans lost. They couldn't handle Al Gore rhythms.

Sure... when Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it's "sexy" and "art"

But when I do it I'm "drunk" and need to "get out of Home Depot"

I like my men, like how I like my dogs.

Loyal, easy to look after and always licks me.

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Ask your mother.

You can explore licks lips reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean licks lick dad jokes. There are also licks puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

Why is it...

That when Miley Cyrus licks a hammer naked it's called 'Music' and 'Art', but when I do it, it's called 'Property Damage' and 'Nudity' and I get kicked out of Home Depot?

Me: *licks lips in anticipation*

I'm nervous, I've never bungee jumped before.

Instructor: Please stop licking my lips.

Hey dad, how do I have sex with a woman who likes having her toes nibbled as foreplay?

Or to put this another way: How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll, pop?

Did you know biologist James Watson was a foot fetishist?

His favorite sex act was double heel licks.

Me: *licks lips with anticipation*

" I'm so excited! i've never bungee jumped before!!"

Instructor: "Don't lick my lips again!"

Licks joke, Me: *licks lips with anticipation*

My first time bungee jumping.

*Licks lips nervously*

Me: This is my first time bungee jumping.

Instructor: Can you please stop licking my lips.

When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a sledgehammer it's art and music

But when I do it I'm drunk and ruining the wedding

Daughter, "Hey dad! How many licks does it take to get to the center of Firefox Quantum?"

Dad, "I don't know yet. It's frozen."

So, a woman and an inexperienced guy want to have sex...

She proposes doing 69, he doesn't know the position but agrees - doesn't matter had sex, he thinks.

They begin, she sucks and he licks happily away, but suddenly she has to fart. He pauses, shivers but continues.

Shortly after, she farts again. He pushes her off, puts on his pants. She begs him not to go, he answers: "sorry, I like you and sex is fun... But I won't take the other 67."

Yo Daddy so poor...

He goes to KFC and licks other people's fingers.

A Sexy Lady

A lady in a bar walks to the bartender
& put her finger into bartender's mouth...

bartender lustly kisses & licks each finger...

lady: tell ur manager ders no tissues..


I was wondering how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Earth, so I asked my geography teacher

Turns out it takes just one, but it has to be an exceptionally long lick

hel p me

Now that the election commercials are over, science can solve one of it's greatest mysteries

How many licks does it get to the tootsie roll center of a Tootsie Roll Pop?

So if cats have papillae on their tongues to rip skin...

...Then does that mean my cat wants to eat me when he licks me?

Two friends are eating at a pub when a woman next to them begins to choke...

Two friends are eating at a pub when a woman next to them begins to choke. Quickly and without hesitation, one friend quickly lifts up the woman's dress, bends her over, and licks her right and left butt cheeks. Immediately, she spits out her food enabling her to breath again before slapping him.

As the man returned to his seat, his buddy exclaimed, Wow! I've heard of the hine lick maneuver, but I've actually never seen it done before.

I always wondered if cats are religious ...

then I realized that they are all practicing cat licks.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the licks nibble jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working licks delicately piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes