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Licked Jokes

48 licked jokes and hilarious licked puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about licked that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Licked Short Jokes

Short licked jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The licked humour may include short licking jokes also.

  1. I always used to lick the bowl clean. Until my parents told me to flush it like everyone else.
  2. I asked my mum if I could lick the bowl when she was finished. She replied "why can't you flush it like everyone else"
  3. I must be in the minority, but I always lick my knife when I'm done None of the other surgeons seem to do it !
  4. Do you really have to lick the knife? she asked. Sorry, force of habit. Lots of people do it though, don't they? I said. Yes, but not during surgery, Doctor.
  5. they asked a 100year old grandpa why were all the women still crazy about him? grandpa said nothing! just gently licked his eyebrow
  6. Is it weird to lick a knife after your done using it? Because the other surgeons looked at me in disgust today.
  7. Yesterday I accidentally sent a n**... picture of myself to everyone in my address book. Not only was it embarrassing but it cost a fortune in stamp.
  8. I guess I must be in the minority, but I always lick the knife when I'm done. None of the other surgeons seem to do it.
  9. My DNA results came back 39% German, 27% Irish, 19% Beagle and 15% Pug. Turns out my dog licked my sample.
  10. I always used to ask my mom if I could lick the bowl... ... She'd always say "No! Just flush it like a normal person!"

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Licked One Liners

Which licked one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with licked? I can suggest the ones about licks and kissed.

  1. My gf broke up with me after I licked her toes… …i guess I got off on the wrong foot.
  2. "Mommy, mommy! Can I lick the bowl?" "No, flush it like everyone else"
  3. "Mummy, can I lick the bowl?" "No Samantha you can flush like everyone else does"
  4. Why are cats and daughters equal in Alabama? They both lick their paw.
  5. Mommy can I lick the bowl.. No! Flush it like a normal person.
  6. Mum, can I lick the bowl? No! Flush the toilet like everyone else.
  7. I just told my best friend I loved her. She wagged her tail and licked my face.
  8. Friend just randomly licked my bleeding cut Then they said "no hemo"
  9. Dinosaur Jokes (2 of 3) What do you call a lesbian Dinosaur?
    A Lick-a-lot-a-pus
  10. Where do cats learn to clean themselves? At a Cat Lick school.
  11. Why did the walrus lick the envelope? Because he was looking for a good seal.
  12. Q: Why did the chicken lick the toad? A: To get to the other side.
  13. How do you help a choking pig? With the Ham-Lick maneuver of course
  14. Why do dogs lick themselves? Because they can't make a fist
  15. A dog goes and licks a tree. The dog exclaims ruff...bark

Licked joke, A dog goes and licks a tree.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about licked can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of licked puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Comical Licked Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter

What funny jokes about licked you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean licking out jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make licked prank.

I'd give you $1M if you let me bite your n**...

Woman: Sure!
*licked and s**... the n**...*
Woman: Why didn't you bite my n**...?
Man: Well, I don't have $1M.

The cake is a lie.

A little boy caught his mom and dad having s**.... After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?"
The mom quickly replied, "We were baking a cake."
A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake again?"
Surprised, she said yes, and asked him how he knew. He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."

This girl once told me she wanted me to do it d**....

So I licked her face, crapped on the carpet and bit her mailman in the ankle

Baking a Cake

A family was out at a movie and there was a s**... scene. Their little girl asks "What are they doing?"
Her mom replies "They are baking a cake." On the way home they saw two people in the park having s**.... The little girl asks the same question. Her mother replies "They are baking a cake honey."
The next morning the little girl asked her mom "Were you and daddy baking a cake last night?"
Her mom says "No of course not, why?"
"Because I licked the icing off the couch."

A girl walks in on his parents doin' it...

The parents freak out and try to cover themselves.
The girl asks, Mommy, what are you guys doing?
The mom says, Your dad and I are making cakes.
The girl shrugs and goes back to her room.
*a week later
The girl asks her mom, Mommy, were you and daddy making cakes again in the living room?
The mother replies Yes we were.
The girl says. Oh cool because I just licked the frosting off the couch.

Making Cakes

One day a daughter hears her parents having s**... in the next room.
The next day she says her to her mother "mummy what were you and daddy doing last night?"
"We were making cakes honey."
A few weeks later, the daughter said to her mum.
"Mummy were you and daddy making cakes again last night?"
"Yes honey, how did you know?"
"Because I licked the icing off the table"

With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she

licked my face and wagged her tail!

Did you hear about the fight in the candy store?

Turns out some s**... got licked.

A chemist, physicist, and engineer found a human thigh bone.

All three of them were cannibals.
The chemist licked it, and tried to put it into water to dissolve it.
The physicist tried to break it open to get at the marrow.
The engineer took the bone, hit the other two over the head, and ate them.

90 percent of adults admitted to having some form of s**... interaction in the office.

I licked an envelope once.

Are your teeth cold?

Then why are they wearing those yellow blankets?
(You just licked your teeth didn't you?)

Did you hear about the fight at the candy store?

Two suckers got licked.

Making cake....

A mother and a daughter were walking down the street and they see two dogs h**.... The daughter quickly looks up to her mother and says "mommy, mommy, what are they doing?" The mother replies by saying, "they're making cake."
The next day the daughter enters her parents room and says "I saw you two making cake!" The mother quickly replies, "How do you know that?"
And finally the daughter quickly responds by saying "I licked the icing off the bed!"

So went to a s**... club that only had strippers who were vegan

It was disappointing The strippers didn't even dance they just licked the pole to get their daily dose of iron.

Two Robins were lying in the sun when a cat ran up and gobbled them up..

..It licked its lips and said 'I love basking robins'

The Birds and the Bees

A boy hears weird noises coming from his parent's bedroom at night. In the morning he asks them what the noise was about last night. His dad replies, "son, we were making cake". The next morning, the son comes downstairs and excitedly asks his parents if they were making cake last night. His dad replies "well yes, how did you know?". The kid replies, "well dad, I licked the frosting off the bed."

I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat.

So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious

Topical Jokes (5/25-5/26)

Hey, sorry for the tardiness! Been on the road lately. Here's some jokes to cap up the last couple days.
Governor Christie met with Snooki over the weekend, but things got a tad awkward when Christie licked his lips and asked, "But seriously, are you actually a meatball?"
Big Catholic news, the Pope recently stated that it is possible for atheists to go to Heaven. However, what he didn't say is once they get there, they have to spend all eternity helping Buddha squeeze into his yoga pants.
In entertainment, "Fast and Furious 6" critics say the film did not live up to the hype. Especially when the first 45 minutes of the film were Vin Diesel sitting in his Dodge Neon scanning Tokyo radio for a Limp Bizkit station.
Bad news, a m**... tax bill stalled in Colorado. Glossy-eyed congressmen promise they'll finish the bill as soon as this rad 'Stairway' solo is over.
In a recent speech, Biden hinted that government research is often wasteful. Such as Biden's $3 million study on if he saw Bigfoot getting the paper yesterday or just Sarah Palin before her morning shave.
And finally some science news. A recent marine study found that fish can use sign language. However, what was more surprising was the terrifying gang signs used by the east L.A. river fish crew, "Gills that Kills".
Thanks for reading! Been pretty busy lately so I'm making sure I produce some material for you guys to check out.

My cat recently won a trophy...

... and she wanted to taste it, so she licked it and I had to clean it :(.
It was a real cattastetrophy.

I bought two items at the store today and immediately licked both of them.

I had to mail a letter.

Nearly had a meltdown when I dropped my ice cream

It's alright though I've got the crisis licked.
(Apparently, I can't refer to this as linguanuity)

APPLY TODAY and learn the techniques of TUNG FU

Before you know it, you'll have all your enemies licked.

There were so many posts about being friend zoned, so I went and told my best friend I love her, and she

licked my face and wagged her tail.😁

I like my women like I like my mail.

Licked, sealed, and usually comes from my friends.

Have you ever licked a knife?

They taste like blood.

Waitress at the Mexican restaurant gave a weird look when I dropped some cheese on the table and licked it off....all I could say was

Que so

o**... s**... is easy to learn.

Once you get past the smell, you've got it licked.

I just licked a knife..

It tasted like blood.

Licked joke, I just licked a knife..

jokes about licked

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these licked jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.