Lice Jokes
51 lice jokes and hilarious lice puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lice that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Tired of the same old, stale jokes? Look no further – these lice jokes will have you rolling in the aisles! Learn more about pubic lice, crab lice, infestations, and cooties, as well as some arboreal lice jokes, sure to put a smile on your face.
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Funniest Lice Short Jokes
Short lice jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lice humour may include short lettuce jokes also.
- A new strain of head lice has been discovered which is resistant to conventional treatments. That has left scientists scratching their heads.
- I've been researching some useless facts... Want some examples?
I have found out that there are over 10,000 different types of lice.
And that's just off the top of my head. - I'm very good at remembering random facts. For example, there are 3,500 different types of lice.
And that's just off the top of my head. - I don't mind head lice, unless I have to take them out of people's hair. But that's just me nitpicking.
- Asian stereotype joke An Asian man walks up to a fast food restaurant for takeout.
He says "Flied lice please."
He leaves but comes back a minute later
"This is fried rice, I ordered flied lice." - When you have a bunch of white bugs in your hair, it's called lice. What's it called when you have just one? Lonely.
- Lice Technicians who work with substandard tools... Do their poor working conditions leave them scratching their heads?
- A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice.
- If the plural of "mouse" is "mice" and the plural of "louse" is "lice"... Then why isn't the plural of "house" "hice"?
- I was once friends with a compulsive liar that "ate tiny insects"... Everything that came out of his mouth was lice.
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Lice One Liners
Which lice one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lice? I can suggest the ones about isle and lichen.
- Where do head lice go to pray? The temple
haha.
-My Friend Devon - Lice are immune to corona makes scientists all over the world scratch their head
- What do you call lice that lives in a bald man's head? Homeless
- I have absolutely no idea how I got lice. It's a real head scratcher.
- What should honest people never have on their head? Lice!
- What did the lice say to the bald man? .............I'm falling!
- Let's all put our heads together... And find a way to fix lice.
- What do you call a dog with lice in China? Full course dinner
- I've always wondered what lice do to you It's a real head scratcher
- Which insect do asian people eat the most of? Lice
- What is the Asian species of lice called? Fried Lice.
- I thought I had lice. Then I remembered I was in an Asian restaurant.
- Hey girl, are you lice? Because you can't get out of my head
- What do we call a lice above a bald person? Homeless.
- What kind of parasites do gangstas get? t**... Lice.

Giggle-Inducing Lice Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends
What funny jokes about lice you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean ling jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lice pranks.
I have a driver's license but it's at home, I accidentally left it with my license plate and proof of insurance.
....I don't get it either but when I told it to the cop he laughed and said that's funny.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Can beards get dandruff?
Or does my girlfriend have p**... lice?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My (black) coworkers informed me that black people can't get lice?
"You know what else they can't get? Good jobs." I received a write-up :(
What does the license plate of the sheep farmer say?
Ewe haul.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Spent two hours debugging my Python...
Turns out that p**... lice are difficult to get rid of.
The Chinese recently made a scientific discovery.
They discovered a louse so small that it lives on the back of the common housefly.
It's a remarkable discovery, but it's gone completely unnoticed because nobody thinks it odd that the Chinese are raving about their fly lice.
Saw a licence plate today that said "LUVSHOES"
Couldn't decide if they love fashionable footware or easy women..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An American, a Chinese, a Russian, a German and a Syrian passenger are on a train...
The American starts to toss legal documents out the train's window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat?"
The American replies, "We have too much of these."
---
Then the Chinese begins throwing rice out the window.
The German asks, "Vy are you doing zat now?"
The Chinese replies, "We got lay too much of that lice."
---
The Russian then flicks dashcams and v**... out his window.
The German asks, "Vat's the matter vith those?"
The Russian replies, "They're too common where I'm from, comrade."
---
The German looks at the Syrian guy.
#The Syrian guy, nervous, exclaims, "Don't you fooking dare!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
TIL Asians regularly eat insects
I heard they love lice
I just got a license plate that says "TRUMP" installed on my car...
For some reason, the FBI keeps pulling me over.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What does lice travel with?
p**... transport
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a smart lice?
A nit-wit
If my License Plates were milk
They would be chunky.
When I got my license I didn't have money for a car, so I robbed a bank. Anyway, as I was being dragged off to jail my mother wanted to know why I did it. So I told her the truth:
"I did it for the car, ma!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a lawyer and head lice?
One is a blood s**... parasite that is hard to get out of your hair, and the other can be killed with a special shampoo.

