librarian Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious librarian puns

I asked the librarian if the library had any books about paranoia.

She whispered: "They're right behind you."

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A guy walks into a library and asks the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah that's the one."

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A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one"

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Librarian: Can I help you?

Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-

Librarian: Being psychic?

Dave: No...

Librarian: One day that will work.

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My penis just entered the Guinness Book of World Records!

Then the librarian caught me.

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Have a turkish joke

A prisoner goes to the jail's library to borrow a book. The librarian says: "We don't have this book, but we have its author"

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A blind man walks into a library and asks, "Do you have any books on tape?"

The librarian says, "Yes, yes we do, but it's not a very interesting subject."

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I went to the library and asked for a book on Pavlov's dog and Shrodinger's Cat

The librarian said "That rings a bell but I don't know if it's here or not."

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I asked the librarian for a book about Pavlov's dog and Schroedinger's cat.

She said it rang a bell, but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

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I'll have you know that my penis was once in the guinness book of world records...

But then the librarian yelled at me and made me leave the library.

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a man goes to a library and asks for a book on suicide.........

Librarian stares at him for a while, then asks: Who's gonna bring it back ?

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The librarian NSFW

A man walks into a library and says to the librarian, "do you have that book for men with small penises?" 

The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."


"Yeah that's the one"

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I asked the librarian if she had the new book about short penises....

She said, "It's not in yet".
I replied, "YES, That's The Book!"

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A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles.

The librarian asks "hard back?"

The guy replies "yeah little heads too."

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A man walks into a library

and asks the librarian at the info desk if they have any books on Pavlov's dog or Schrodinger's cat. The librarian thinks for a moment before replying "It rings a bell but I'm not sure whether it's there or not."

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A blonde came up to the librarian and yelled, "This book sucks! There's way too many characters and the story makes no sense!"

The librarian said, "So you're the one who took our phone book."

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My penis used to be in the Guinness Book of World Records

until the librarian told me to take it out.

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I went to the library and asked if they had the book about tiny penises...

The librarian said, "I don't think it's in yet."

I said, "Yes, that's the one."

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My dick was once in the Guinness book of World Records.

Then the librarian told me to take it out.

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A man went to a library and asked for a book on committing suicide.

The librarian replied, "Fuck off, you won't bring it back"

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I have you know that my penis was once in the Guinness book of world records...

but then the librarian yelled and told me to leave the library.

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[NSFW] So my penis was in the guiness book of world records...

Till the librarian asked me to take it out.

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A man walks into a library ...

A man walks into a library and asks the librarian, "Do you have that new book for men with small penises?"


The librarian looks on her computer and says, "I don't know if it's in yet."

"Yeah that's the one!"

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A man walks into a library...

A man walks into a library and says "Excuse me, miss, but do you have that book for men with small penises?"

The librarian goes to the computer, types a few things in, and says "I don't think it's in yet."

The man replies, "Yeah, that's the one..."

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A blonde walks into a library (*not the whole joke)

She says to the librarian "Hiiii, I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."
The librarian says, "Lady, this is a library!"
Embarrassed, the blonde apologizes and whispers, "I'd like a cheeseburger, some fries, and a coke."

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A man walks into a library asking for a book about how to commit suicide.

Librarian: Fuck off, you won't bring it back.

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I asked a librarian if there are any books on discrimination against people in wheelchairs.

She replied "Yes, it's up the stairs, on the top shelf to the left."

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A woman walks into a library and asked if they had any books about paranoia

Librarian: "They're right behind you!!"

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My penis was in the guiness book of world records...

But then the librarian kicked me out

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My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records...

... until the librarian kicked me out.

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A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library...

A Dictionary and a Thesaurus are in a library. The librarian who has taken good care of them for years and years is retiring. Understandably, the Dictionary and Thesaurus are both sad.

The Thesaurus says to the Dictionary "I can see how distraught you are."

The Dictionary responds "You don't even know the meaning of the word."

The Thesaurus then says "But I know what it's like."

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A drunk walks into a library...

He goes up to the desk and slurs: I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

The librarian replies: Sir, this is a library!

***whispers*** Sorry, I'll have a burger, fries and a milkshake.

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A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlov's dogs and Schrodinger's cat.

The librarian says, "It rings a bell, but I don't know whether it's there or not."

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Living with a small penis

Me to Librarian - Have you got a copy of the new title, Living with a small penis?

Librarian – I don't think it's in yet.

Me to Librarian - Yep that's the one.

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My dick was in the Guinness world records book

Until the librarian threw me out.

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What are the most funny Librarian jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Librarian? Well, here are the best Librarian dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Librarian pick up lines to share with friends.

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