Librarian Day Jokes

Librarian: Can I help you?

Dave: Yeah, I'm looking for a book about-
Librarian: Being psychic?
Dave: No...
Librarian: One day that will work.

A BLONDE'S THEFT

A blonde goes to the library to get a book. A few days later, she comes back and says to librarian at the counter, "This book was very boring. It had too many characters and too many numbers, so I would like to return it."
The librarian says to her coworkers, "So here's the person who took our phone book!"

There was once a robot whose job it was to organize all the shelves of a massive library that had thousands of books. Every day he did his job without missing a beat. One day though, he didn't show up to work. The librarians were all perplexed that a robot would do something like that...

Turns out he had become shelf aware.

I visited the library the other day.

I asked the librarian where the books on paranoid delusions were kept.
She leaned in close to me and whispered,
"They're behind you!"

I walked into the library the other day

I walked into the library the other day and asked the librarian if he still had that mouldy old book on giving your child up for adoption.
"It was vile so I got rid of it."
"That's the one."

I wasted the whole day looking for an Indian cookbook at the library today.

I asked the librarian for help, but I was too embarrassed to tell her I couldn't even find the naan fiction section.

A boy walks into a library....

and asks if he can borrow *"It's the Last Day of School. Forever"*. Looking shocked and surprised, the librarian says, "No dear, you've got to bring it back next week."

One day a blonde went into the library and asked the librarian, "Can I have a burger and fries?" The librarian replied, "This is the library." Then blonde whispered, "Oh. Can I have a burger and fries?"

A Librarian just got a new job.

On his first day someone asks him where a certain book is. He knows where it should be but can't find it there, in fact none of the books seem to be organized correctly. He goes to the head librarian who finds the book with ease.
He asks the head librarian why all the books are so disorganized. "Well we just fill up empty shelves with new books we get, people seem to like it, I even get compliments sometimes." The librarian accuses him of just not wanting to do work. "It's true! I'm not sure why but people seem to like those who sort by new"