Following is our collection of Liberal jokes which are very funny. There are some liberal voted jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these liberal libertarian puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Like he's a Muslim or something.
the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.
I said, "Don't jump."
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What denomination?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.
--Emo Philips
Bartender says, what'll ya have Mitt?
The bartender says "Afternoon, Mitt! What can I get for you?"
A liberal, conservative, and moderate walks into a bar.
The hostess says "Hi, Mitt!"
The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal pansy stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, First Sergeant!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!"
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Trivial Pursuit.
Oh,the humanities!
Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,
and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.
lack toast and tolerant
You can explore liberal leftist reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean liberal lib dad jokes. There are also liberal puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
The conservative orders a whisky, the liberal a white Russian. After a single sip of each they launch into a wild argument with each other.
The bartender turns and asks the moderate what he wants.
Replieth the moderate, "Nothing. I'm the one who has to drive them home."
Pay him for the pizza
Move them out of thier parents basement
The science major asks "Why does it work?"
The engineering major asks "How does it work?"
The business major asks "How much will it cost?"
The liberal arts major asks "Do you want fries with that?"
notarypublican
"How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
Anyone winning an argument with a liberal.
Esquire.
They are always asking for change.
Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!
A liberal arts major.
I lied about the wheels.
The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do.
"That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"
The pizza can feed a family.
They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.
Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.
It has six commandments and four suggestions
None, because change can only come from a revolution of the working classes.
Liberal arts.
(Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything.
Jahbless!
Snowden hacking Hillary's files.
You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history.
Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let's fix the current one in the dark.
And I asked for a liberal amount of bacon. The employee cried, set the sandwich on fire, then went outside to protest.
I need to learn to be careful using the word liberal.
n/t
They only take left turns.
Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.
(But it explains everything!)
... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti:
"Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."
A dead liberal that is worshipped by living conservatives.
There's too many white cells.
Psych.
No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.
Do you want fries with that?
You'd think they'd love a failed liberal arts student who blames all his problems on other races.
Alt-right alt-right alt-right
Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!
(This is just a joke sorry)
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
If Jesus wants my attention now, he'd do better turning my liberal arts degree into something useful.
Turns out liberal arts is the default setting.
Change
It's post election fever in the UK.
And the British ladies are more confused than ever!
They are Conservative in the day, Liberal at night and nine months later in Labourππ
So I got a liberal arts degree.
Might have been because it was a revolving door, though.
$5, and be glad it's 20%.
Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art
Because they're not PC bro!
He sees three brains sitting on the table a regular brain, a republican brain and a liberal brain.
Buyer: how much is each brain?
The seller: the regular brain is 200 dollars the republican brain is 300 dollars
But this here the liberal brain is 15,000 dollars.
Buyer: Oh Lord why is the liberal brain so expensive?
Seller: well it's never been used before!
One wants to kill in the first trimester and the other wants to kill in the hundred sixtith trimester.
An alt-right.
After a while, the doctor appeared wearing a long face.
Doctor: I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.
"Oh dear God," cried his wife, we've never had a liberal in the family before!"
The trigger
I'm an aerospace engineer. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "it IS rocket science..." it still wouldn't be as much as my salary. Take that liberal arts majors.
Because dentists make teeth straight and white.
Now there is a disabled guy in the White House and all they do is compalain about it.
What if you're trying to enjoy a nice afternoon out with your family, but when you leave, your kids have to watch a bunch of losers playing mini-golf?
They both want to get rid of ice
A libery'all
I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.
None, because they turn left.
the bouncer asks for their IDs. The liberal says he identifies as a 21 year old so they should let him in, the republican hands the bouncer a bribe because the rules don't apply to him. The libertarian asks Do you have a warrant? .
Because they hate liberal snowflakes.
Oh my god! Exclaims the liberal, Are you alt-right?
I moved out and got a full-time job
Illegal drag racing or street racing can become as dangerous or even more dangerous than a Nascar pileup.
rudolph can overcome adversity without any government assistance
An interdisci-planarian
Doesn't that make republicans just plain ole retards?
A gun only has one trigger
Because they are anti-social.
What does a graduate student with a liberal
arts degree ask? "you want fries with that?"
A conservative and a liberal are walking along the beach when they see a man drowning a hundred feet off shore.
The conservative throws him a 50-foot rope and shouts to the victim "You provide the other fifty feet." The liberal throws the man a 200-foot rope ... and lets go of both ends.
They'll always argue over the male agenda.
One will ask WHY you need fries with that!
she kept saying 'More to the left! More to the left!'
It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.
In liberal politics, left is right and right is wrong
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the liberal conservative jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working liberal snowflakes piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.