Liberal Jokes
145 liberal jokes and hilarious liberal puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about liberal that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This is a collection of the funniest jokes about liberals that will have you laughing out loud.
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Funniest Liberal Short Jokes
Short liberal jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The liberal humour may include short libertarian jokes also.
- A liberal, a moderate, and a conservative walk into a bar... the bartender says 'hey, Mitt.'
- What has four wheels and can't support a family? A liberal arts major.
I lied about the wheels. - What's a Racist, Homophobe, Sexist, Bigot, or Hater? Anyone winning an argument with a liberal.
- what do you say to the liberal arts student that just gotten a job Can I get the cappuccino to go?
- An engineer major asks... "How can we build this?"
A business major asks, "How can we finance this?"
A liberal arts major asks, "Do you want fries with that?" - I don't care what the liberal media says about the election. Come January, my national leader isn't going to change, and his name starts with T, R, and U. It's Justin Trudeau. I'm Canadian.
- I pulled my kid out of pre-school because they were indoctrinating him into a socialist liberal mindset Today, his teacher was teaching him how to share.
- Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise.
- My liberal friend asked me why we think owning gun is a God given right when noone in Bible had one. I corrected him that Paul had epistle...
- What's the difference between a liberal arts major and a pizza? The pizza can feed a family.
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Liberal One Liners
Which liberal one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with liberal? I can suggest the ones about conservative and left wing.
- Why can't republicans use hand sanitizer? Because the directions say to apply liberally
- Liberals declared leukemia to be racist There's too many white cells.
- I have a degree in Liberal Arts Do you want fries with that?
- What's a Liberal Arts Major's Favorite Board Game?...... Trivial Pursuit.
- Why do Republicans hate lotion? Because the directions say to apply it liberally.
- What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed? Oh,the humanities!
- My neighbors wife is very liberal she kept saying 'More to the left! More to the left!'
- what do you call a liberal humanitarian with a broken toaster lack toast and tolerant
- Studies show liberals are less susceptible to 'fake news' I read it on Facebook.
- Why do conservatives disagree with liberals? Because they aren't right
- If you're a liberal arts major, here's a tip $5, and be glad it's 20%.
- What do you call a Rasta with a liberal arts degree? Jahbless!
- A liberal wins the powerball! Millionaires and Billionaires aren't so bad now after all!
- What do you call a flatworm with a liberal arts degree? An interdisci-planarian
- What is a liberals favorite part of a gun? The trigger
Liberal Conservative Jokes
Here is a list of funny liberal conservative jokes and even better liberal conservative puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Liberals are more generous than conservatives Not only are they generous with their own money, they are also generous with other people's money!
(This is just a joke sorry) - What is the definition of a Saint? A dead liberal that is worshipped by living conservatives.
- A young conservative man went on Reddit and pretended to be liberal to fit in. It's been almost a year and his family still won't shut up about fraudulent upvotes.
- My conservative friends keep warning me that China has a PLAN But I don't see what the People's Liberation Army Navy has to do with anything.
- UK ELECTIONS UPDATE It's post election fever in the UK.
And the British ladies are more confused than ever!
They are Conservative in the day, Liberal at night and nine months later in Labour😂😂 - What do conservatives, republicans, liberals, and democrats all have in common? They're all boring people for getting so involved in politics
- If conservatives have 4chan and liberals have tumblr, what do centrists have? A life.
- Why don't conservatives use conditioner on their hair? Because the bottle says Apply liberally
- I just took a political stance quiz, and found out that I am 52% liberal and 48% conservative. That's not the only part of me that leans slightly to the left.
- If there are liberal arts colleges, why aren't there any conservative arts colleges? Well, there used to be conservative arts colleges, but they were all defunded.
Liberal Arts Jokes
Here is a list of funny liberal arts jokes and even better liberal arts puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- "Actually, I'll have you know I have a degree in liberal arts" "That's great ma'am, but I ordered fries with my meal"
- Turning water into wine is so first century. If Jesus wants my attention now, he'd do better turning my liberal arts degree into something useful.
- Today I change my major from law to liberal arts. Psych.
- Do something you love and never work a day in your life they said So I got a liberal arts degree.
- Why did the Republican hate his logic course? Because Philosophy is considered a *liberal* art
- What is the proper title to refer to a Liberal Arts Major. Esquire.
- Have you tried the new College Debt Simulator video game? Turns out liberal arts is the default setting.
- What's the plus side to accepting science grad students from private liberal arts colleges? They come without the B.S. !!
- A liberal arts student walks into a bar. (Insert pronoun here) can't buy anything.
- What did they call the exhibition of paintings by Democrats? Liberal arts.
Liberal Arts Major Jokes
Here is a list of funny liberal arts major jokes and even better liberal arts major puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A chickpea goes to a liberal arts college... What's its major? Falafelphy
- I went to college to get a better education. Decided on a Liberal Arts major.

Cheeky Liberal Jokes to Experience Good Cheer & Frivolity
What funny jokes about liberal you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean socialist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make liberal pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Liberals are acting like Trump is going to kill all the g**..., make slavery legal again, and take away women's rights....
Like he's a Muslim or something.
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge
Once I was walking along the Golden Gate Bridge and I saw this guy about to jump.
I said, "Don't jump."
He said, "Nobody loves me."
I said, "God loves you. Are you a Christian or a Jew?"
He said, "A Christian."
I said, "Me too! Protestant or Catholic?"
He said, "Protestant."
I said, "Me too! What denomination?"
He said, "Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference, or Northern Conservative Baptist, Eastern Conference?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist, Great Lakes Conference."
I said, "Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Conference, Council of 1912."
I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him off.
--Emo Philips
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Exception to the rule
The First Sergeant noticed a new private one day and and barked at him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the First Sergeant asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The First Sergeant scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of bleeding-heart, liberal p**... stuff they're teaching troops in Basic today, but I don't call anyone by their first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my privates by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as 'First Sergeant.' Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, First Sergeant!"
"Good! Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling, First Sergeant!"
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
The lawsuit seeking 'personhood' status for chimpanzees
Evidence in this lawsuit clearly demonstrates that the legal definition of "person" is badly flawed,
and needs to be corrected by excluding liberal lawyers.
A conservative, a liberal and a moderate walk into a bar
The conservative orders a whisky, the liberal a white Russian. After a single sip of each they launch into a wild argument with each other.
The bartender turns and asks the moderate what he wants.
Replieth the moderate, "Nothing. I'm the one who has to drive them home."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How to get a liberal arts graduate off of your porch?
Pay him for the pizza
What's the hardest part about being a liberal?
Telling your parents you're not gay.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How do you turn a liberal into a conservative?
Move them out of thier parents basement
What do you call a liberal notary public?
notarypublican
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do liberals and homeless people have in common?
They are always asking for change.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
The light bulb doesn't want to change and you should stop forcing it to do what it doesn't want to do.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you hear Mexico agreed to help Donald Trump build his wall?
They've gotta keep all those Americans out once Donald gets elected.
Sorry, super liberal grandpa told me this one on Father's day. Couldn't help but share.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... was the original Social Justice Warrior
Adolf h**... is the story of a failed liberal art student who blamed it on ethnicities he deemed privileged.
What do you call it, when 10 liberal presidential candidates give their speeches and promises all at the same time?
Mass Debating
Did you hear about that new liberal episcopal church?
It has six commandments and four suggestions
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many liberals does it take to change a lightbulb
None, because change can only come from a revolution of the working classes.
What do you call a Liberal dilemma?
Snowden hacking Hillary's files.
Knowledge is liberal
We are synonymous.
We are battalion.
We do not pardon.
We do not fail to recall.
Anticipate us.
You know, I haven't always been liberal
You would see I'm a big fan of 80's Bush, if you check my search history.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
How many Liberals does it take to change a lightbulb?
Liberals: Changing the bulb is too extreme. Let's fix the current one in the dark.
Ordered a sandwich..
And I asked for a liberal amount of bacon. The employee cried, set the sandwich on fire, then went outside to protest.
I need to learn to be careful using the word liberal.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In the U.S., why are liberals better racecar drivers than conservatives?
They only take left turns.
Using high powered gamma rays, creatures on Mars have established total mind control over Donald. And Hillary. And the liberal press. And the Alt-right.
Hey, all I know is what I read on Facebook.
(But it explains everything!)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At the men's bathroom of the local college...
... above the toilet paper dispenser was a piece of graffiti:
"Liberal Arts Degrees. Take One."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nearly 200,000 Californians evacuated due to Oroville dam reaching a likely catastrophic failure. You may think this isn't the time to bring up politics however this is Trump's fault.
No man made structure was built to hold so many liberal tears.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Not sure why the left wants to punch n**...
You'd think they'd love a failed liberal arts student who blames all his problems on other races.
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the s**... liberal say to the conservative?
Alt-right alt-right alt-right
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This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If a conservative is a republican and a liberal is a democrat, what is a moderate?
s**...
Degrees
The graduate with a science degree asks,
'Why does it work?'
The graduate with an engineering degree asks,
'How does it work?'
The graduate with an accounting degree asks,
'How much will it cost?'
The graduate with a liberal arts degree asks,
'Do you want fries with that?'
What do you get when you give a Liberal a penny for their thoughts?
Change
Someone accused me of being a liberal today...
I have never been so offended in my life
My wife is quite liberal. The other day she got really mad at me for holding the door for her.
Might have been because it was a revolving door, though.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why do liberals hate apples?
Because they're not PC bro!
A man walks into a shop...
He sees three brains sitting on the table a regular brain, a republican brain and a liberal brain.
Buyer: how much is each brain?
The seller: the regular brain is 200 dollars the republican brain is 300 dollars
But this here the liberal brain is 15,000 dollars.
Buyer: Oh Lord why is the liberal brain so expensive?
Seller: well it's never been used before!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between a liberal and a conservative?
One wants to kill in the first trimester and the other wants to kill in the hundred sixtith trimester.
A Socialist, a Communist, and a Liberal together at a table in a bar, what do you get?
An alt-right.
What's the difference between a liberal and an puppy?
The puppy stops whining when it grows up.
A republican, a liberal, a gay, and a muslim walk into a bar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An elderly man had a massive s**... and his family drove him to the hospital.
After a while, the doctor appeared wearing a long face.
Doctor: I'm afraid Grandpa is brain-dead, but his heart is still beating.
"Oh dear God," cried his wife, we've never had a liberal in the family before!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why are liberals always asking for handouts?
Because the PowerPoint projector is broken.
Who do you call a racist?
The winner in an argument with a liberal
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm an aerospace engineer.
I'm an aerospace engineer. If I had a dollar for every time I heard "it IS rocket science..." it still wouldn't be as much as my salary. Take that liberal arts majors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just saw a s**... club across the street from a mini-golf place. Now, I'm pretty liberal, but I think that's taking it too far.
What if you're trying to enjoy a nice afternoon out with your family, but when you leave, your kids have to watch a bunch of losers playing mini-golf?
What's similar between a liberal and salt?
They both want to get rid of ice
What do you call a southern liberal?
A libery'all
I don't know why people say that no employer will be interested in your liberal arts degree.
I would love to hire someone who has clearly shown that they don't care at all about how much money they make.
A Libertarian, a Republican, and a Liberal walk into a bar...
the bouncer asks for their IDs. The liberal says he identifies as a 21 year old so they should let him in, the republican hands the bouncer a bribe because the rules don't apply to him. The libertarian asks Do you have a warrant? .
A man proudly sporting an I Love Trump pin passes a liberal man on the sidewalk. As he does so, he trips and falls.
Oh my god! Exclaims the liberal, Are you alt-right?
I was profoundly liberal before
I moved out and got a full-time job
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Liberals who watch Rupal Drag Race cannot make fun of conservatives for liking Nascar.
i**... drag racing or street racing can become as dangerous or even more dangerous than a Nascar pileup.
I said hi to a liberal last week
The trial is on Thursday
What's the difference between a Liberal and a puppy?
Eventually the puppy stops whining as it gets older.

