Liar Jokes

Following is our collection of cheat humor and lier one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Liar puns for adults, dirty womanizer jokes or clean deceit gags for kids.

There is an abundance of truthful jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 66 funniest jokes on liar. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any psychopath witze you can hear about liar.

The Best jokes about Liar

A sexual predator, a pathological liar, and a racist walk into a bar

The bartender says, What'll it be, Mr. President?

I have 3 eyes, 6 heads and 15 limbs, what am I?

A liar.

Wife comes home and finds her husband sipping coffee with another woman

She starts swearing at her husband immediatelly.

He stops her: 'Don't shout at me, this woman has come to see you.'

'Me? You cheating liar, I don't know her at all!'

'OK, let me introduce you then. This is Carol, wife of your lover…'

What does a liar do after he's dead?

He lies still...

Air Force One gets caught in a storm in the midwest

And crashes. Because most of the roads are out, it takes emergency responders a long time to reach the wreck. When they get there, they see a farmer.

"Did you see the plane crash?" asked the EMTs.

"Ayup. Sure did. Buried them all too," answered the farmer.

"None of them survived?"

"Well, the president said he did, but you know what a liar he is."


I have 3 eyes, 5 legs and 6 arms, what am I ?

A liar

Marriage

Husband asking the wife:
-Darling, do you want to come with me to the gym?
*-Are you saying I'm fat??*
-No, I was just thinking that we should maybe...
*-Are you saying I'm lazy??*
-No, no! Calm down, I didn't say that..
*-Why, you think I'm hysterical??*
-No, I wasn't saying that..
*-So you are calling me a liar now??*
-God no! You know what, I go alone then.
*-Wait a minute! Why do you want to go alone!?*

A racist, a liar and a misogynist walks into a bar

The bartender greeted Good evening, Mr. President!

MY WIFE IS A LIAR!

'That wife of mine is a liar.' said the angry husband to a sympathetic pal seated next to him in the bar.

'How do you know?' the friend asked.

'She didn't come home last night, and when I asked her where she'd been, she said she'd spent the night with her sister, Shirley.'

'So?' the friend replied.

'So, she's a liar. I spent the night with her sister Shirley!

A politician, a liar and a crooked man enter in a bar.

He sits down and drinks coffee.

I have 2 heads, 5 arms, 372 legs, and 6684324 eyes. What am I?

A liar


A rapist, a bigot, and a pathological liar walk into a bar.

The bartender says, "What'll you have, Mr. President?"

I have 600 legs, 30 arms, a pair of wings, and 1000 eyes. What am I?

A liar.

A liar, a murderer, and a cheater walk into a bar.

The New England Patriots must be in town.

I'd call myself a politician, but then I would just be a liar...

So, basically, I would be a politician.

And then there's me...

A man walked into a bar and saw a beautiful girl. He said to her, "you're pretty!"
"I know." She said, arrogantly.
"You have a beautiful figure!"
"I know." She said again.
"It must be nice to be born with such beautiful features!" He said.
"It is." she replied.
"And then there's me, I was born a liar." He said, before promptly leaving the bar.

LIAR

A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them in the office and they took off for her house. Exhausted from the afternoon's activities, they fell asleep and awoke at around 8 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Confused, she nonetheless complied and he slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been?" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling," replied the man, "I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary. I fell asleep in her bed and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You liar! You've been playing golf!"

Liars

A preacher finished the service one morning by saying, Next Sunday, I'm going to preach on the subject of Liars. As a preparation for my sermon, I would like you all to read Mark 17.

On the following Sunday, the preacher rose to begin. Looking out at the congregation he said, Last week I asked you all to read Mark 17. If you have read the chapter, please raise your hand. Nearly every hand in the congregation went up.

Smiling, the preacher said, You are the very people I want to talk to. Mark only has 16 Chapters.

A liar, a cheat, and a bigot walked into a bar...

"Let's make America great again!" he said.


A liar, A cheat, and a sore loser walk into a bar.

The bartender says:

What'll it be Mrs.Clinton?

What happens to liars when they die?

They lie still

At the sister's

Oh no, Roger, why did you two split up?

She's a liar and a cheat! She said she was the whole night at her sister's!

So? Maybe she was.

Yeah, no way. I was at her sister's the whole night!

Liars tend not make eye contact,

which is why I don't trust pirates half the time.

Condoms are available in three sizes:

Small, medium, and liar.

A liar, a murderer, and a thief walk into a bar.

The bartender asks, "what will it be, Mrs. Clinton?"

Q) I have ten arms, eight legs and 22 feet. what am I?

A) A liar.

What do you call a sober Irishman?

A liar.

Roses are red, you're a liar

Harry, did you put your name in the goblet of fire?

About a year ago I changet my name to Fun...

Apparently Cyndi Lauper is a liar.

I got a call from the pound

They wanted to tell me that they had picked up my dog because it was chasing a kid on a bike.

I said " That kid is a liar because not only does my dog not own a bike; he doesn't even know how to ride one yet!

What do you call a Mathematician who is an outlaw and a liar?

an outlier

downvote brigade can start now

I have 3 legs, 5 arms, 7 eyes and 19 belly buttons. What am I?

A liar.

I have 3 heads, 4 legs, 6 hands and 416 fingers, what am I?

A liar.

The Perfect Man

So one day, a man is sitting at work with his co-worker:

Man: I'm really happy with life right now. Kids are doing great in school, wife loves me and puts out every night, and my doctor says I'm the picture of perfect health.

Co-worker: Wow! That sounds so great! Is there anything wrong with you?

Man: Well my therapist says I'm a compulsive liar, but what does she know?

Why is a skeleton a bad liar?

You can see right through it.

Have you heard the one about the Gestapo?

LIAR!

At least George Micheal wasn't a liar.

Last Christmas he gave us his heart.

A Child Molester, a Priest and a Liar walk into a bar.

His name was John.

My girlfriend says I'm a fantasist and a compulsive liar.

That's a bit rich coming from someone who doesn't exist.

A blonde, a drunk, a liar, and a loser walk into a bar to order a couple drinks...

The bartender says: "There's my favorite customer! What will it be this time Ms. Clinton?"

What has 4 heads, 5 legs, and 3 arms?

A liar.

My wife says I'm like Pinnochio in the bedroom.

"Because every time I see you my thing gets bigger and bigger?" I asked

"No. You're a liar and your performances are wooden."

What do you call a compulsive liar who's also an astronaut, a billionaire, and a nascar driver?

Me.

What do you call an overweight Cajun conman?

A jumbo liar.

Credit to my boyfriend who is exceptionally punny.

What do you call a vegan who gives blow jobs?

A fuckin' liar...

My doctor told me I'm a hypochondriac and a compulsive liar.

I'm not too worried about it.

Interrogator: What's the worst lie you've ever told?

Liar: I'm a liar

I was born handsome, charming witty and wise

I'm also a compulsive liar, but I think it evens out.

my father, a massive liar, told me he'd been shot...

I said 'I can see right through you'

Mom mom! In the school some people called me a liar!

Shut up son, you don't even go to school.

What do you call a person who has never masterbated ?

A liar

In a mental asylum

Patient 1: "Doctor, I am a messenger of god!"
Patient next door: "Liar! I haven't send you anywhere!"

I've been told I'm a compulsive liar and a hypochondriac

but I don't worry about it.

What does a Jamaican Liar sit on?

Deceit.

After a long day, Hillary gets home and complains to Bill about her day.

Hillary: Today, at one grassroots event, people called me a liar.

Bill: Don't try to fool me, you never attend grassroots events.

A friend once told me if I don't love someone anymore, then I should leave them.

Turns out he was a liar; I tried all morning and failed to leave myself.

What Are My Weaknesses? To be honest...

I'm a massive Liar.

Liars make their bed and....

lie there too.

3 Ants

3 Ants are competing in a race. Ant #1 wins and exclaims, "I'm in 1st place". Shortly after ant #2 ends the race and says, "I finished in 2nd place". Eventually ant #3 finishes the race and states "I won the race".
How is this possible?

Ant #3 is a liar.

My mom says she dropped me as a baby and got temporary amnesia

What a liar I think I'd remember something so huge about my life.

The Liar Ant

I saw an ant in the kitchen so I placed a sugar cube in front of her.

She inspected it and went to tell her friends, then I quickly hid the sugar cube coz I wanted them to think she's a liar.

Mommy mommy, in school they all call me liar!

Aww my Timmy, you're not in school yet.

With Nixon tattooed on Roger Stone's back...

Inmates will soon get to see a criminal and a liar no matter which side of him they're facing

My sister told me I'm the biggest liar she's ever met

She most know some pretty short liars.

What's the strangest type of liar?

A peculiar.

What do you call a liar with leprosy?

A Leper-con

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

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