lewinsky Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious lewinsky puns

Apparently Monica Lewinsky won't be voting for Hillary Clinton this election

She says the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth

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Monica Lewinsky has released the following statement on Hillary Clinton's run for the American Presidency:

"I will not vote for Hillary Clinton. The last Clinton Presidency left a very bad taste in my mouth."

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Monica Lewinsky takes a dress to her dry cleaner.

"Do you think you'll be able to get the stain out?" she asks.

"Come again?" the man at the counter responds.

"No, mustard," Monica replies

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I really thought Monica Lewinsky should be on a dollar..

but she's already had her face on a Bill.

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Dry Cleaning

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaning store and tells the guy, "I've got another dress for you to clean."

Slightly hard of hearing, the clerk replies, "Come again?"

"No," says Monica. "Mustard this time."

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Monica Lewinsky was recently offered a new position at a prestigious boarding school.

Headmaster.

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Monica Lewinsky walks into a cleaners....

with a dress and yells at the old owner who is hard of hearing

"I need to dry clean my dress"

The owner cups his hand next to his ear

"come again"

"No it's ketchup this time"

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Monica Lewinsky is going to vote for Bernie

The last time a Clinton was in office it left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Love Handles

One day as Monica Lewinsky was walking along the beach awaiting her Senate trial testimony, she came upon an ornate bottle that had washed up on shore. Curious, she picked it up, brushed off the sand, and lo and behold a genie popped out.

"Greetings, Miss Lewinsky," the genie said. "Since you have released me, I will grant you one wish."

"Well," Monica replied, "I'm going to be on television alot for a while, and I want to look my best. I wish you would get rid of these love handles."

"Your wish is my command," said the genie. A wave of his hands, a puff of smoke...

And her ears promptly fell off.

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What do you call a person who kneels after the President makes inappropriate comments?

Monica Lewinsky

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Monica Lewinsky said it 20 years ago and she said it again this year

Hillary Clinton wasn't the right person for the job.

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What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

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Why Didn't Monica Lewinsky Vote For Hilary Clinton?

Because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Monica Lewinsky says she won't endorse Hillary for president...

"The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in my mouth"

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Did anyone else see that 60 Minutes interview with Monica Lewinsky last night?

She said she wasn't very happy about possibly having another Clinton in the White House. That the last one left a bad taste in her mouth.

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I heard that Monica Lewinsky voted Republican this year.

The Democrats left her with a bad taste in her mouth.

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Why isnt Monica Lewinsky voting for Hillary?

The last Clinton left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners

Monica Lewinsky walks into her dry cleaners, the guy is a little old and hard of hearing. Monica says "i need to get this dress cleaned, no starch, use the same hanger."
The dry cleaner responds "come again?"
Monica says "nope, this time it's mustard."

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Monica Lewinsky just released a statement on the presidential candidacy of Hillary Clinton...

She was quoted as saying that she can't vote for Hillary, because the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

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A man walks into a t-shirt store...

There are 3 shirts on display.

The first has a picture of Richard Nixon with a white mustache. Below the picture is titled "Got Milk."

The second tee shirt has a picture of Ronald Reagan with a white mustache. It is entitled "Forgot Milk."

The third tee shirt has a picture of Monica Lewinsky with a white mustache. It is entitled "Not Milk."

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Monica Lewinsky says she WILL endorse Hillary for president...

..says Hillary Clinton "doesn't suck."

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What does Monica Lewinsky and a soda machine have in common?

They both say "insert Bill here"

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What did Bill Clinton find attractive about Monica Lewinsky?

He said she had the prettiest smile he ever came across.

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Despite the fact she is a Democrat, Monica Lewinsky decided to vote for Trump in the last election...

....she said to her friend, "I'd like to vote for Hillary, but the last Clinton left a very foul taste in my mouth."

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I highly doubt that Monica Lewinsky will support Hillary in 2016.

I mean, the last time a Clinton was a president, it left a really bad taste in her mouth.

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Did you hear Monica Lewinsky became a republican?

The democrats just left a bad taste in her mouth

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What do Monica Lewinsky and the Green Bay Packers have in common?

They both love Clinton-Dix.

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Why is Monica Lewinsky so poor

Because she's always blowing bills

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Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump

Monica Lewinsky is voting for Donald Trump in the 2016 Presidential Election, because the last time a Clinton was in office, it left a bad taste in her mouth.

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Monica Lewinsky just turned 43

It seems like only yesterday she was crawling on the floor of the White House

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Did you hear that Monica Lewinsky stopped smoking cigars?

Now she's just bummimg cigarettes!

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I'd rather vote for Monica Lewinsky than Hillary Clinton...

...because at least a little bit of Bill rubbed off on Monica!

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THAT SMILE

A reporter asks Bill Clinton,. 'What did you find most attractive concerning Monica Lewinsky?"
He replied, 'She had the prettiest smile I ever came across."

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Hillary Clinton found out that Bill was getting it on with Monica Lewinsky.

She shrugged her shoulders and said "Better her than me."

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Bill Clinton right now, texting Monica Lewinsky "You up?"

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What are the most funny Lewinsky jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Lewinsky? Well, here are the best Lewinsky dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Lewinsky pick up lines to share with friends.

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