Following is our collection of Lettuce jokes which are very funny. There are some lettuce leeks jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lettuce slaw puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
It saw the salad dressing.
LETTUCE. TURNIP. THE BEET!
You make a seizure salad.
Lettuce go.
Lettuce Turnip The Beet
and that's just the tip of the iceberg.
Lettuce pray.
two heads are better than one.
"Lettuce, pray."
What did the cucumber say to the cabbage when they got kidnapped by the tomato?
Lettuce go
I don't know, but it sure can pick lettuce.
You can explore lettuce salad reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lettuce tomatoes dad jokes. There are also lettuce puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Until someone helped me think it through. Turns out, two heads are better than one.
What did the vegetarian lion say before going hunting?
"Lettuce prey"
She is loading all her items on the conveyer belt for the chasier to scan.
Her items are; A litre of milk, a carton of eggs, and a head of lettuce.
The cashier looks at her and says, "Are you single?"
The customer, shocked at her assumption says, "Yes, I am. How did you know?"
The cashier says, "Because you're ugly."
A woman goes to a supermarket. After gathering her items, she goes to the checkout counter.
The cashier looks at the items she bought: a jug of milk, a carton of eggs, & a head of lettuce
The cashier says "You must be single"
The woman says "Oh my god, how did you know?"
The cashier responds:
"Because you're ugly."
Chicken Caesar salad.
The doctor has a look and says, "This is could be serious, you seem to have a lettuce leaf stuck in there. I can remove it easily enough, but it may just be the tip of the iceberg."
...all I did was put out a sign that said, "take lettuce from top of pile or heads will roll!"
Lettuce turnip the beet
Wrong sub.
The lettuce was a head and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
A woman is at a grocery store. She goes to the clerk to purchase her groceries. The clerk looks at her items and sees a carton of eggs, a gallon of milk, and a head of lettuce. He says to the woman, "You must be single." The woman was surprised & replies, "Yes, how did you know?" The clerk answers, "Because you're ugly."
Lettuce be grape friends.
Two brothers shared a bedroom, bunk beds. The older brother had the top bunk. He wanted to bring his girlfriend over to spend the night. He tells his girlfriend if she wants it faster say lettuce, harder say tomato.
The younger brother wakes up hearing, "lettuce, tomato, lettuce, lettuce, tomato." He yells up to his older brother and says, "I know you guys are making sandwiches up there but can you stop dropping the mayo!"
The doctor asked why I was so concerned. I replied, I think it's just the tip of the iceberg
Lettuce turnip the beet!
Lettuce pray.
"Lettuce pray"
Seizure salad
Lettuce pray they turnip.
I asked waitress "What all comes in the club salad?"
She said "Lettuce, turnip, the beat"
Chicken Caesar Salad
A man walks into a grocery store and grabs a shopping cart. He grabs one egg, one tomato, one head of lettuce, one steak, one banana, one apple, and one of everything else in the store.
He walks up to the counter and starts putting his items on the belt. After the cashier gives him a weird look, she says, "You must be single."
He says, "I am. How did you know?"
She says, "Because you're extremely ugly."
the food really lettuce down.
A chicken ceaser salad.
Oops. Wrong sub.
But sometimes I just don't need that much lettuce.
Chicken sees a salad.
Lettuce Pray
He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?"
Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
[True story. My dad is not an idiot either, totally normal human.]
Lettuce turnip the beet.
Lettuce Guacamole Bacon Tomato
everyone please romaine calm
The doctor says "that looks nasty", the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"
One day, Mr. Lettuce and Ms. Kale got into a fight over who wears green better. Ms. Kale looks at Mr. Lettuce and says, "I will kale you" and Mr. Lettuce says, "Lettuce fight"
Because chicken sees a salad.
When it's bakin' lettuce and tomato
"That's just the tip of the iceberg." She replies.
I am now a seizure salad.
It wouldn't lettuce leaf
A guy goes to the doctor.
'doctor' he says ' I think I've got a lettuce up my bum'
'bend over then and let me have a look' the doctor says.
The guy bends over and the doctor has a good look and a rummage around.
' I'm afraid that I think you're right ' he exclaimed, ' and I'm afraid it looks like that's just the tip of the iceberg '
Shredded lettuce
Who won the race? The lettuce, the tomato or the faucet?
The lettuce was a head, the faucet was still running and the tomato was trying to ketchup.
Lettuce, turnip, the beet.
I know, it was corny.
I've been throwing lettuce at the window for hours now and it hasn't even scratched, let alone put a hole in it.
Because they're in-bred!
They even started sending me pictures of vegetables on the internet, threatening to make me eat lettuce until I was sick. To this day, I still suffer from the effects of their rampant and traumatic fiber-bullying.
Lettuce Turnip the Beet
Lettuce spray
Lettuce alone!
The Romaine-der
Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato
I'm not actually sure if If they're vegans, but they keep shouting lettuce leaf!
A chicken sees a salad.
The last romaines. Now lettuce pray for them.
So he asks the guard for a romaine lettuce salad, but the guard replies "You can only choose a meal, not how you want to die."
**Captain:** what kind of lettuce do you want on your sandwich?
**First mate:** ICEBERG!
**Captain:** lol... no need to shout, Dave.
Seizure Salad
The chicken sees a salad!
Who's there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce pause this joke for a word from our sponsor, Raid Shadow Legends
Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
said the lettuce leaf foolishly. He was yet to come to terms that he, and eveyone else in this Sub, are going to be eaten.
When they dug up the grounds the found human romaines.
A man goes to the doctor and says 'Doctor, I think I have a head of lettuce coming out of my bottom.'
The doctors says 'okay, let me have a look.'
After a brief examination the doctor says to the patient. 'Well sir, I have some bad news. I'm afraid this is only the tip of the iceberg'
Does anyone else eat lettuce after you kill it or just hide the romaines?
Ran out of toilet paper and started using lettuce leaves. Today was just the tip of the iceberg, tomorrow romaines to be seen.
Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
Because he took a leek!
(Please don't kick us out, just lettuce leave)
Lettuce pray
He was making a seizure salad.
....I'll see myself out.
A: Lettuce pray!
Lettuce in
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lettuce vegetables jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lettuce vinaigrette piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.