JokoJokes

Lettuce Bacon Jokes

26 lettuce bacon jokes and hilarious lettuce bacon puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lettuce bacon that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lettuce Bacon Short Jokes

Short lettuce bacon jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lettuce bacon humour may include short bacon jokes also.

  1. Why do bacon lettuce and tomatoes have the lowest IQ out of all the foods? Because they're in-bred!
  2. I always thought LGBT means Lettuce Ginger Bacon and Tomato... Until my smart friend told me that G stands for Guacamole
  3. TIFU by buying the Bacon lettuce tomato rather than the veggie delight for my vegetarian sister. It was the wrong sub.
  4. In my family, we make a sandwich with Lettuce, Guac, Bacon and Tomato We call it the "over the rainbow"

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Lettuce Bacon One Liners

Which lettuce bacon one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lettuce bacon? I can suggest the ones about bacon eggs and eats bacon.

  1. Social Justice Warriors Favorite Sandwich: Lettuce, Guacamole, Bacon and Tomato
  2. I learned what LGBT stands for! Lettuce Guacamole Bacon Tomato
  3. I just found out what the LGBTQ stands for Lettuce, Garlic, Bacon, Tomato, quesadilla
  4. What did the slice of bacon say to the tomato? Lettuce be together now!
  5. What did Bacon say to Tomato? Lettuce get together!
  6. What's a rapper's favorite sandwich? Bacon, Lettuce, Avocado, Tomato
  7. What do you call a Bacon Lettuce Tomato sandwich at a gay pride parade? An LGBLT

Silly Lettuce Bacon Jokes for a Good Time with Friends

What funny jokes about lettuce bacon you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean kevin bacon jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lettuce bacon pranks.

Asked my dad what LGBT stands for

He started with "Lettuce? Bacon. Tomato. What's the 'g' for?"
Obviously I had to reply with "Garnish".
[True story. My dad is not an idiot either, totally normal human.]

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2%milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice,a head of romaine lettuce, a two pound can of coffee, and a one pound package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.
He said, "You must be single."
The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict's intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, " Cause you're ugly."

My dad's favorite joke

Two men go out to lunch. One man orders a BLT, but the waitress says "We're out of BLTs." The man contends they cannot be out of BLTs, and asks whether they have bacon. The waitress answers in the affirmative. The man asks whether they have tomatoes. Again, the waitress answers "yes." The man asks whether they have lettuce, and the waitress states they are indeed out of lettuce. The man asks whether he can have cabbage instead of lettuce, and the waitress agrees to arrange for this.
When the food arrives, the man who ordered the BLT begins to dissect the sandwich. He wipes the mayonnaise off the bread and wipes it on the side of the plate. He sets the tomatoes aside, and crumbles the bacon and puts it on top of the tomatoes. He then begins rolling up the cabbage and stuffing it into his ear. His friend is confused and embarrassed, and asks the man to stop, saying "Why are you doing that with the cabbage?"
The man answers: "Because they were out of lettuce."

You must be single...

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly."

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"

A woman shopping at her local mart where....................

................................she selected:
a half-gallon of 2% milk
a carton of eggs
a quart of orange juice
a head of romaine lettuce
a 2 lb. can of coffee
a 1 lb. package of bacon
As she was unloading her items onto the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her was watching.
While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single."
The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped of the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said, "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on Earth did you know that?"
The drunk replied, "'Cuz you're ugly"

Conveyor Belt

A man was shopping at his local supermarket where he selected a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.
He unloaded his items on the conveyor belt to check out, and the cashier said "You must be single."
The young man was a bit startled by this proclamation,
but he was intrigued by the check-out girl's intuition, since he was indeed single. He looked at his six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about his selections that could have tipped off the cashier.
Curiosity getting the better of him, he said "Well, you
know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"
The cashier replied, "Cause you're ugly."

Never question a drunk!

A 37 year old woman at the super market says: NEVER, EVER, QUESTION A DRUNK . . . . I was shopping at the local supermarket where I selected:
A half-gallon of 2% milk
A carton of eggs
A quart of orange juice
A head of lettuce
A 2 lb. Can of coffee
A 1 lb. Package of bacon
As I was unloading my items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind me watched as I placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up the purchases, the drunk calmly stated -- 'You must be single.'
I was a bit startled by this proclamation, but I was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since I indeed had never found "Mr. Right." I looked at the six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about my selections that could have tipped off the drunk to my marital status.....
Curiosity getting the better of me, I said -- 'Yes you are correct. But how on earth did you know that?'
The drunk replied -- 'Cause you're ugly'.