Letter Jokes
166 letter jokes and hilarious letter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about letter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny jokes based on the letters of the alphabet! Get your letter board and write funny words like letter c, letter j, letter t, letter e, letter b, letter y and many more. See how you can use handwriting, telegrams and other words to bring a smile on people’s faces. Learn all the ways to create a humorous letter joke.
Quick Jump To
- Short Letter Jokes
- Letter One Liners
- Letter C Jokes
- Letter Writing Jokes
- Letter E Jokes
- Wrote Letter Jokes
- Letter Board Jokes
- More Letter Jokes
Funniest Letter Short Jokes
Short letter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The letter humour may include short alphabet jokes also.
- What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters. Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.
- My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 harry potter books, it spells out a secret message HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.
- My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
- Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found. Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
- Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but… They're just waiting their turn.
- I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked postman — can you help? She said, Sure. How many letters?
Me: I'm guessing—- Too many. - What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind . - Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I" Bobby: I is...
Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".
Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.
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Letter One Liners
Which letter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with letter? I can suggest the ones about signature and words.
- If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN... They become VERY ANGRY.
- What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
- If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN you get them VERY ANGRY
- Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"... O B C D...
- What start with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter? An envelope.
- I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
- What word starts with "E" and ends in "E" but only has one letter in it? Envelope.
- What starts with a W, and has 3 letters, but ends with a T I'm not asking
- Did you know that if you rearrange the letters of "Postmen" They get really angry
- The last four letters in "queue" are not silent They're just waiting their turn
- Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet? Because the others are Not-Cs
- What starts with W, ends with T and has two letters in between. Just stating the obvious.
- If you rearrange all the letters of POSTMEN You will get them VERY ANGRY
- What's a three letter word that starts with gas? Car
- What has 3 letters and starts with gas? A car
Letter C Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter c jokes and even better letter c puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet? Because all the other letters are Not-Cs
- As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning... Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Me: ARRRGH!
Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"! - What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
- I have heard that a pirate's favorite letter is "R" or sometimes "C"... but when I took one's "P" away they became irate.
- How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y
- What's a pirates favourite letter? (pause for everyone saying aRrrrrrr)
No, it be the C - How did they name Canada? They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.
- What's a pirate's favourite letter? You'd think it'd be R, but 'tis the C his heart truely belongs to.
- What is a pirate's favourite letter in the alphabet? You think it would be the R, but he's really fond of the C.
- What's a pirates favorite letter? - R?
- No! The C be his first love
Letter Writing Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter writing jokes and even better letter writing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My psychologist told me: "Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."
I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters... - What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ... - My therapist told me a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them I did that, and it really worked! But I'm wondering, what do I do with the letters?
- Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism.
- My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters... He doesn't like Capitalism
- Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism.
- But what do I do with the letters? My psychotherapist once told me that I should write letters to the people that did me harm and then burn them. But what do I do with the letters?
- Struggling with sharp angles when writing the letter V? Sounds like a U problem
- I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season... So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.
- Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance.
Letter E Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter e jokes and even better letter e puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents? Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
- What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine
- What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter? envelope
- if you added the letters S and E to the X files it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol
- The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest. The rest are e-z.
- What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? Envelope
- Why was the letter E the only letter to get Christmas gifts? Because all the other letters were "not E"
- Why is E the nicest letter? Because all the others are naughty.
- What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it? Post office
- Know why the letters a, e, i, o, and u are so angry? Irritable vowel syndrome.
Wrote Letter Jokes
Here is a list of funny wrote letter jokes and even better wrote letter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A little boy wrote a letter to Santa stating he wanted a little sister The next day he got a letter from santa saying: Ok send me your mother
- Did you hear about the farmer whose wife left him for a traveling tractor salesman? She wrote him a John Deere letter.
- Letter to Santa: "Please send me a baby brother" Santa wrote back: "Send me your mother"
- Wrote a letter today. Might move on to numbers tomorrow.
- I wrote letters to all the people I hate, and I burned them. Now I don't know what to do with the letters.
- What is a pirate's favorite letter? The one his wife wrote him before the plague stole her away.
- Wrote Santa A letter asking for a baby brother Wrote Santa a letter asking for a baby brother.
Santa wrote back...
"Send me your mother" - I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis I highly recommended him.
- If you think you wrote a great letter, add a footnote at the end which explains Ohm's Law. Then it'll be your P.S. de resistance.
- A friend and I went to a chiropractor exam and we had to unscramble the letters PEINS He wrote SPINE, he's a chiropractor now and I spend all my time on reddit.
Letter Board Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter board jokes and even better letter board puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A Russian, went to USA for an eye check up The Doctor shows the letters on the board: CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: Can you read this ?
Russian: Read ??? I even know this guy, he's my cousin. - A russian went for an eye check-up The doctor showed the letters on the board:
CZWXNQSTAZKY
Doctor: can you read this?
Patient: read?! I know the guy! - [An open letter to Education systems everywhere] Dear Board of Education,
So are we. - A Polish man goes into the opticians... The optician says "Can you read the letters on the board?"
"Read them?", he says, "I know him !"
Letter Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about letter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean paper jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make letter pranks.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet access has been terminated due to i**... usage.
Sincerely, your service provider.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet
Milk
Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier
s**... bank employee: What glass of milk
Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk
s**... bank employee: Oh no
Me: What
s**... bank employee: You drank my glass of milk
The Polish eye exam.
A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters
~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'
'Can you read this?' the optician asked.
'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
I just received a chain letter and if I don't re-send it a dead woman will appear in my closet....
Guess who's getting laid tonight.
In an English class...
Teacher: David, give me a sentence starting with "I."
David: I is...
Teacher: No, David. You must always say "I am."
David: Oh right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..
..so I failed her!
A snail walks into a car dealership...
And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"
What does the letter K have in common with my cousins
They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together
Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Teacher: Paul. Give me a sentence beginning with "I".
Paul: I is the...
Teacher: No, Paul . You must say "I am" not "I is."
Paul: All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T.
Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad?
Clickbait
Letter from 7 to 6
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.
Sincerely,
7
Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words.
What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?
Parole.
Letter to God
Dear God,
Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.
What's a pirates favourite letter?
P, because without it they're irate
There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .
Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
What did the letter O say to the letter Q?
"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
Teacher: Tell me the sentence that starts with an "I".
Student: I is the....
Teacher: Stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I". Student: OK. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
What's a pirates least favorite letter?
Dear sir,
Your internet service has been disconnected due to terms of service violations and excessive downloading. Please return modem and accessories to your nearest Comcast location.
Sincerely,
Comcast
50% of Canada
Is the letter A
An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:
"This year I'm unable to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if you were here you would've helped me."
His son replied: "You idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden guns there."
Pretty soon, the Police read the letter, and the very next day the ground was dug by the police, and searched for guns but nothing was found.
The son wrote again: "Now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here."
Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet
that she knows of.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear customer,
We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/i**... downloading on your network.
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
Face is a four letter word.
But preface is a foreword letter.
What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Customer,
Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.
What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?
Dear Customer,
Due to recent i**... activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.
-Sincerely, your ISP.
I only know 25 letters...
I don't know Y
Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"
Student: I is the...
Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".
Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.
This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".
I said, "It's sedate."
Assist is 50% the letter "S"...
The rest are just there to help.
Farmer and Son
A farmer wrote a letter to his son in jail for robbing a bank
This year, I can't plant potatoes because you are not here to plow the field."
The son wrote back, Papa, don't dare plow the field That is where I hid the money I stole.
The police intercepted the letter and by the next day they'd dug up the entire field but found nothing. The son wrote to his father, Now you can plant your potatoes.
The word nun is just the letter n...
...doing a forward roll.
When Canada was first founded, its leaders were having trouble coming up with a name.
Unable to come up with any ideas, they decided the best course of action would be to draw random letters out of a hat.
One man pulled out a letter, cleared his t**..., and read,
"C, eh."
The letter was written down. The man pulled out another letter and read,
"N, eh."
This, too, was recorded. The man drew one more letter and read,
"D, eh."
A letter to Keyboard Manufacturers
Dear Keyboard Manufacturers,
I'm writing to request a redesign so that 'g' and 't' wouldn't be right next to each other.
r**...,
I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I s**.... What am I?
pear
what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an o**... if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both
pear
I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".
What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Most people think it's the Arrr, but it really be the sea.
I quit my job as a postman the first day right after they handed me my first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?
adults
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
How many seconds in a year joke
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed.
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can accept that. How many seconds are there in a year?
P: 12 seconds
A: (shocked) how come?
P: Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd ...
A: you can go in
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Well, some people think its 'R', but that's just a hurtful stereotype.
Other people say that their true love is the 'C' which I can certainly understand...
But I find that it's actually the letter 'P', cause without it they're just irate.
I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
"Boy, I'm scared," a man said to one of his friends,
"I got a
letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop
seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll
have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first
guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not
that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:
This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.
Me - What's a 3 letter word for compete?
Dracula - Vie.
Me - It's for a crossword.
I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.
Poor Prince Phillip...
99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.
What's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
Sincerely,
Your Internet Provider
Dear Charlie, We've been neighbors for 6 tumultuous years.
When you borrowed my snowblower, you returned it in pieces.
When I was sick, you blasted Metallica.
And when your dog decorated my lawn, you laughed.
I could go on, but I'm not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.
Cordially, Harry
I'm no racist, except when it comes to people who like the 21st letter of the alphabet
U-people make me sick
A old man as a pet mongoose who gives birth.
Deciding he can't look after the mongoose and the pup he decides to donate them to the zoo and writes a letter to explain.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate two ~~mongooses~~ ~~mongeeses~~ ~~mongi~~
.
.
.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate one mongoose.
PS here is another.
