Letter Writing Jokes

126 letter writing jokes and hilarious letter writing puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about letter writing that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Letter Writing Short Jokes

Short letter writing jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The letter writing humour may include short article writing jokes also.

  1. My psychologist told me: "Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them."
    I have done so, but now I don't know what to do with the letters...
  2. What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
    We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...
  3. My therapist told me a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them I did that, and it really worked! But I'm wondering, what do I do with the letters?
  4. But what do I do with the letters? My psychotherapist once told me that I should write letters to the people that did me harm and then burn them. But what do I do with the letters?
  5. I wanted to volunteer and do something good this holiday season... So I helped these dyslexic kids write letters to Satan.
  6. Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance.
  7. My therapist told me a great way to deal with people I hate.... She advised me to write them letters and then burn them.
    I tried it... I feel much better....but should I keep the letters?
  8. My therapist suggested I write letters to the people I hate and then burn them. I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.
  9. Mom writes to her son in Poland's army: "Dear Son, I am writing this letter ever so slowly..... ....because I know you cannot read fast"
  10. So I used to date this graphic designer... We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?

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Letter Writing One Liners

Which letter writing one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with letter writing? I can suggest the ones about wrote letter and report writing.

  1. Do Russians only write in lower case letters? I mean, they hate Capitalism.
  2. My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters... He doesn't like Capitalism
  3. Why does Bernie Sanders write in lowercase letters? Because he hates capitalism.
  4. Struggling with sharp angles when writing the letter V? Sounds like a U problem
  5. So I want to write a letter to a deer... I just don't know how to start it off!
  6. Upon what does a jungle cat write a letter? A cheetah paper.
  7. I sometimes send letters to my parents... They're nothing to write home about.
  8. Yo mama is so fat she has to write an apology letter to Japan.
  9. How does a robot write a love letter in binary? XOXOXXOOOXOXOOOOXO
  10. I keep writing letters to myself. Dear me.
  11. In his final hour, Albert Einstein started writing letters of farewell...
  12. I've been writing letters to an Italian student He's my Penne Pal
  13. I was just asked to write a letter of recommendation.
  14. How to write from A to K with only seven letters! ABCDEF**K

Letter Writing Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about letter writing you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean handwriting jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make letter writing pranks.

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up.

What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

A man went to his lawyer and told him, "My neighbor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up.

What should I do?" "Do you have any proof he owes you the money?" asked the lawyer. "Nope," replied the man. "OK, then write him a letter asking him for the $5,000 he owed you," said the lawyer. "But it's only $500," replied the man. "Precisely. That’s what he will reply and then you’ll have your proof!"

A little boy wants a bike for Christmas really badly, but the kid is a real bad seed, and he knows it. He writes a letter to Jesus. "Dear Jesus, if I get a bike for Christmas, I'll be good for a whole week." He thinks about it, crosses out what he wrote, and says, "I can't be good for a whole week, I'll be good for five days." He crosses that out and writes, "I'll be good for four days." Then he thinks again and says, "Can't do that." He gets down to one day and says, "I can't even be good for a day." Then in frustration, goes in his mother's room and get the statue of the v**... Mary, wraps it up in a blanket, puts it in a paper bag, throws it in the closet and says, "Dear Jesus, if I don't get a bike for Christmas, you'll never see your mother again!"

A prisoner in jail receives a letter from his wife: "Dear husband, I have decided to plant some lettuce in the back garden. When is the best time to plant them?"
The prisoner, knowing that the prison guards read all mail, replies in a letter: "Dear wife, whatever you do, do not touch the back garden. That is where I hid all the money."
A week or so later, he receives another letter from his wife. "Dear husband, you wouldn't believe what happened. Some men came with shovels to the house and dug up the back garden."
The prisoner writes back: "Dear wife, now is the best time to plant the lettuce."

John invited his mother over for dinner one evening.

During the meal, she couldn’t help but notice how attractive his roommate Judy was.
She had been suspicious of a relationship between her son and his roommate for quite some time, but this only made her more curious.
She watched the two of them interact over the course of the evening and began to wonder whether there was more between John and Judy than met the eye.
Realizing only too well what his mother was thinking, John said, "I can see your wheels turning Mom and I know what you’re thinking. Rest assured Judy and I are strictly roommates."
A few days later, Judy went to John and said, "You know the beautiful silver gravy ladle? Well, ever since your mother came to dinner I can’t seem to find it. You don’t think she would have taken it, do you?"
"I doubt it, but I’ll write her a letter just to be sure," replied John.
John then sat down and wrote his mother the following letter:
"Dear Mom,
While I’m not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I’m not saying you 'didn’t' take a gravy ladle, the fact remains that ever since you were here for dinner one has been missing.
Love, Your son."
Several days later, John received a reply from his mother which read:
"Dear John,
While I am not saying you 'do' sleep with Judy, and I’m not saying you 'don’t' sleep with her, the fact remains that she would have found the gravy ladle by now if she were sleeping in her own bed.
Love, Mom."

Q: Why don't Canadians have group s**...?
A: Too many thank-you letters to write afterwards.

Not too long ago, there was a woman who wanted to know how her husband would react if she left without telling him where she had gone. 
She decided to write him a letter saying she is tired of him and didn't want to live with him anymore.
After writing the letter, she put it on the table in the bedroom and then climbed under the bed to hide until her husband got home. 
When he eventually came back home, he saw the letter on the table and read it.
After a few moments of silence, he picked up the pen and added something to the letter.
Then he started to get changed, whistling happy tunes and singing and dancing while he did so. He grabbed his phone and dialed a number. 
His wife listened from under the bed as he started chatting to someone. 
"Hey babe, I'm just changing clothes then will join you," he said.
"As for the other fool, it finally dawned on her that I was fooling around on her and left. I was really wrong to have married her; I wish you and me had met earlier. See you soon, honey!" 
Then he hung up and walked out of the room.
In tears and very upset, she climbed out from under the bed and stumbled over to read what her unfaithful husband had written on the end of her letter. 
Through teary eyes, she read: "I could see your feet you idiot, I am going out to buy bread."

Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?

I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.

My therapist told me that a great way to let go of your anger is to write letters to people you hate and then burn them...

I did that and I feel much better but I'm I keep the letters?

Can some one help me write my girlfriend a love letter?

Is buttcheek one word or are they spread apart?

A young man is writing his grandmother a letter

His friends sees it and asks him: who are you writing that letter?
My grandma, the boy replies. Why are you writing so slowly? His friend asks him.
She can't read very fast!

An American and an Iranian meet at a bar.

The two begin to talk about themselves and their countries and find they have a lot in common. The American finally says, "Your country sounds wonderful, but there's on thing that bothers me. In America, if we want to, we can write a letter to the president of the United States that says, 'President Obama, I think you're running America wrong', but in Iran you can't do that."
The Iranian replies, "That's not true at all, just last week my cousin wrote a letter to our president that read, 'President Ahmadinejad, I think President Obama is running America wrong!'".

A politician is leaving office...

...and shaking the hand of the fresh face. The old bear motions the new comer to come closer - to exchange words.
"You're a public figure now. You must act in a most respectable way, you need to care for your people - not so much that they need you, but enough that they don't forget who you are. And most important - keep these two letters close by.'
"When you get yourself into a situation you can't get out of, open the first letter, and you'll be safe. When you get yourself into another situation you can't get out of, open the second letter".
Well, soon enough, the young professional was in a tight place, so they opened the first letter. Which said - "Blame everything on me". So tyhe old politician was blamed, it worked like a charm. Years later the politician got into a second situation they couldn't get out of - the second letter was opened. It said - "Sit down, and write two letters"

Pastor and the Housekeeper

In France, the young assistant pastors do not live in
the main rectory. That is reserved for the Pastor and
his housekeeper. One day the pastor invited his new
young assistant pastor to have dinner at the rectory.
While being served, the young pastor noticed how shapely
and lovely the housekeeper was and down deep in his
heart he wondered if there was more between the pastor
and the housekeeper.
After the meal was over, the middle-aged pastor assured
the young priest that everything was purely professional...that
she was the housekeeper and cook and that was that.
About a week later the housekeeper came to the pastor
and said, "Father, ever since the new assistant came
for dinner I have not been able to find the beautiful
silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose he took it, do
you?" The Pastor said, "Well, I doubt it but I'll write
him a letter."
So he sat down and wrote, "Dear Father, I'm not saying
you did take the gravy ladle and I'm not saying you
did not take the gravy ladle. But the fact remains that
it has been missing since you were here for dinner."
The young assistant received the letter and he answered
it as follows: "Dear Father Pastor, I'm not saying that
you do sleep with the housekeeper and I'm not saying
that you do not sleep with the housekeeper. But I do
know for sure that if you slept in your own bed you
would find the gravy ladle."

Young man goes off to university

A young man goes off to university in a town several hours drive from where his parents live. Two months later, he write to his folks. The letter reads, "Dear Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time! I've enclosed a picture, as you can see I've grown a nice goatee! Don't I look like a Count?"
The father says to his wife, "Well that's upsetting. We spend all this money sending him to school, and he can't even spell."

Little Billy

Little Billy wanted $100 badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened.Then he decided to write God a letter request $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to God, USA, they decided to send it to President Bush.
The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send Billy a $5.00 bill. President Bush thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. Billy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to weite a thank you note to God, which read:
Dear God,
Thank you very much for sending the money, however, I noticed that for some reason you had to send it through Washington D.C. and, as usual, those crooks deducted $95.00.

John invited his mother over for dinner.

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates." About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner." Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

There's an old Italian man

There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.
"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."
The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."
That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.
The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."

4 explorers find land north of the United States

4 explorers find land north of the United States, and decide to claim it as their own. They make a simple flag out of some leaves and stick it in the ground.
"Looks great, eh?" An explorer says.
A second explorer agrees. "Yeah, it's perfect! We can call it the official flag of... um..."
"...We need a name for this place, eh?" A third explorer says.
Everyone else nods in agreement. They start thinking of names for their new land, but can't really find one they like.
"How about this?" An explorer says. "We can write down some letters and throw them in a hat, then pick some at random and see if that helps."
The other explorers agree. "Sure, why not." "I suppose it can't hurt." "Worth a shot, eh?" So they write down some letters and throw them in a hat. Three explorers pick a letter at random, while the fourth one grabs some more writing supplies.
"Okay, what did you all get?"
"I got a 'C', eh?"
"I got a 'N', eh?"
"I got a 'D', eh?"
And so the new land was named, "CANADA".

A Letter from Heaven

I read this one almost a decade ago, surprisingly, I still remember it. Here goes:
One day in Heaven, God saw the Earth and became saddened by all the news of crimes, wars, and strife. He became disappointed with the prominence of evil in the world, and called forth some angels and told them, "I am disappointed by the amount of evil going on in this world, please go out and find me some morally good people, I would rest easy knowing that there is still good down there."
Two days later, an angel returned bearing grim news. "Dear God," the angel began, "I have searched every corner of the world, there is only a handful of good people in the world now. You'd best personally instruct them before they disappear forever."
God thought about it for a while and began, "Very well, I will personally write a letter to every one of these good people, please deliver them for me".
The angel took the letters after they were written and saw to their deliveries. All around the world, the good people soon received them and proceeded to read each and every one of the letters.
Oh, so you didn't get that letter either, huh?

The cursed Prince. This summer's best love story.

Once upon a time there was a Prince who, through no fault of his own, was cast under a spell by an evil witch.
The curse was that the Prince could speak only one word each year.
However, he could save up the words so that if he did not speak for a whole year, then the following year he was allowed to speak two words (this was before the time of letter writing or sign language).
One day he met a beautiful princess (ruby lips, golden hair, sapphire eyes,) and fell madly in love.
With the greatest difficulty he decided to refrain from speaking for two whole years so that he could look at her and say, "my darling,"
But, at the end of the two years he wished to tell her that he loved her. Because of this he waited three more years without speaking (bringing the total number of silent years to 5).
But, at the end of these five years he realized that he had to ask her to marry him. So, he waited ANOTHER four years without speaking.
Finally as the ninth year of silence ended, his joy knew no bounds.
Leading the lovely princess to the most secluded and romantic place in that beautiful royal garden the prince heaped a hundred red roses on her lap, knelt before her, and taking her hand in his, said huskily,
"My darling, I love you! Will you marry me?"
And the princess tucked a strand of golden hair behind a dainty ear, opened her sapphire eyes in wonder, and parting her ruby lips, said,

"That's no excuse not to write to your mother."

p**... and Maggy Dunn send their son, Neely, from Ireland to the United States to find a job and build a dream career. Off Neely sails on a freighter, earning his way across the Atlantic as a deckhand.
Upon arriving in the U.S., Neely sends his mam and pap a letter, explaining the glorious sights and sounds he beheld. As Neely searches for a job, his letters dwindle in frequency and, before long, cease altogether.
p**... 'n Maggie are concerned, naturally, and send their second son, Liam, to the States to find Neely and see if he was okay. Off Liam sails.
Liam is so overwhelmed by the vastness of the U.S. that he has no idea how to find his brother. So he walks up to the nearest structure, knocks on the door, and asks, "Are ye Neely Dunn?"
"Yes," comes the reply from the porta-p**..., "but I've run out of paper."
"*That's no excuse not to write to yer mother!*"

A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison

A man lives on a farm, he writes to his son in prison -
"I can't grow potatoes this year. I'm too old to be digging up the field."
Soon he gets a letter back from his son. -
"You can't dig in the field, that's where I buried the bodies!"
The next morning, people came from the police. They dug up the entire field but found nothing.
Soon the farmer gets another letter from his son. -
"Now Dad, you can grow potatoes. It was the best I could do from here."

Two guys are in a helicopter.

During their flight the helicopter encounters some dense fog and quickly becomes lost. After a few minutes of careful maneuvering, the two find themselves hovering next to a large building where they can see a guy in his office, sitting at his desk.
Thinking quickly, the copilot grabs a piece of paper, writes "WHERE ARE WE?" in huge letters on it, and holds it up for the officeworker to read. The officeworker grabs a sheet of paper off his desk, scribbles quickly, and holds up his response: "YOU ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
"Okay, no problem," says the pilot. "I know where we are. We're over the local college and that's the engineering school."
"How do you know that?" asks the copilot.
"Because," says the pilot, "the answer he gave us was technically correct but completely useless."

A prince is cursed...

A prince is cursed one day by a witch so that he can only speak a single word a year. However, any word he does not say in a year can be rolled over and used in a following year. The prince is discouraged, but decides to go about his life anyway.
A few weeks later, the prince meets a beautiful young woman, and he waits an entire year to say "hello". He begins writing her letters, explaining his situation, and they begin to fall in love. Three years later, the prince uses his saved words to tell her, in his own voice, "I love you".
Soon, the prince decides he wants to marry her. But to make it special, he saves up his words for twelve years, so he can ask her himself. He takes her to the most romantic part of the royal gardens at sunset, gets down on one knee, and says "my darling, I love you more than anything. Will you marry me?" The beautiful young woman turns to him and says:

In Soviet Russia

Two men were talking one day and one mentioned he was visiting Russia.
The friend tells him that it's politically rough over there and that they check letters leaving the country for dissenters. So, he instructs the man to use a code- write in black ink if everything is fine and red ink if things are bad.
The man goes to Russia. A couple weeks later the friend gets a letter in black ink. It says all sorts of positive things about Russia- how rich it is and how nice the people are to him. "My only complaint," he writes, "is that they don't have red pens."

A man is charged with a felony...

The man and his family are too poor to post bail. The man gets a letter from his father that reads:
"It is so unfortunate that you are in jail right now, every year at this time we used to turn the soil before winter so that we could plant and grow tomatoes next year. I don't think I'll be able to do it by myself but I will try my best.
Much love,
The man reads the message and immediately writes a response from jail:
"DON'T TURN THE SOIL IN OUR TOMATO PATCH!!!! It's where I buried the evidence!!!"
Two hours later a team of government investigators show up at the father's house stating that based on evidence scanned through the man's letter, there are reasonable ground to search the tomato patch for evidence. The investigators dig up the entire patch... But find nothing. They apologize to the father and leave. The man sees the investigation come back and writes to his father:
"Looks like we'll be having tomatoes next year after all!"

Beyoncé to write thank-you letter to brave young man who stood up for her against the patriarchy.

An American factory orders a shipment of a certain part from a Japanese factory.

They write a letter to warn their partners "Be aware of our strict standards, we only accept 3 defective parts per 10 000".
The Japanese reply: "We don't quite understand what do you need them for, but as per request, we manufactured three defective parts and attach them separately hereby"

A third grade teacher addresses her class

..."alright class" she says, "before I let you go for spring break I want to remind you that I'm getting married this weekend and I'm no longer going to be Ms. Stevens I'm going to be Mrs. Prussy"
She writes M R S. P R U S S Y in big cursive letters on the blackboard and says "whomever remembers my new name when we come back from break gets a gold star for the day"
The ten days comes and goes and she's standing in front of her class early Monday morning and says"good morning class, I hope you all remembered that I got married over the break and my name isn't Ms. Stevens any more it's Mrs" And she writes M R S on the blackboard, turns around to a sea of blank faces.
Then one hand shoots up in the back
"oh! oh! Mrs. Crunt"

A little girl writes a Christmas letter to Santa

"Dear Santa, I want a fur coat and a scarf for Christmas." She goes to the post office and sends the letter. Next day the postman reads the letter and decides to give the girl a scarf for christmas. After christmas the postman gets another letter: " Santa, thanks for the scarf, but i bet the mailman took the coat!"

My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...

A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'

Regarding the SCOTUS approval of gay marriage, Iowa representative Steve King has just said (and this is a real quote) "you could marry your your lawnmower with this decision".

Marrying your lawnmower is fine, but when it comes time to leave, writing that John Deere letter is the toughest part.

Get a brother

A little kids sends a letter to Santa that says: "Dear Santa I want a brother for Christmas." Santa writes back, "Dear Timmy send me me your mommy."

I used to have a part time job helping a one-armed typist write capital letters

It was shift work.

There's a group of passive aggressive people that keep saying I'm a snoopy mailman

I know because they keep writing letters about it to their friends.

I received a letter from my mother in the mail...

It was sweet, but it was nothing to write home about.

What happened to Santa Clause when he took an English class to write his own letters?

He became an independent clause.

My therapist suggested..

I tell my wife about my magic trick addiction by writing her a letter. I just can't pick up the Penn and Teller

Anger Management

As part of my anger management counseling my therapist said I should "Write letters to the people you hate and then burn them."
So I did, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

Jesus writes a letter to the three wise men years later, and thanks them for the gifts they gave him.

"Hello Wise Men,
Thanks for the Frankincense, first wise man, I will make great use of it, perhaps not now, but far later in life. As for you, second wise man, I am very pleased with the Myrrh, it smells lovely and I have been scenting my house with it. However, third wise man, I am travel weary and cannot remember the gift that you sent. I may correspond in the future with you further."
Days later in the wise men's house, another letter arrives.

My Therapist told me "Write letters to the people you hate......"

My Therapist told me "Write letters to the people who you hate and burn them later".
I did that.... But now what should i do with the letters???

A student writes her parent's, "Deare$t Mom and Dad,

college i$ going well. I am making many friend$ and learning lot$. But $omething i$ mi$$ing, I ju$t wi$h I knew what it wa$. Anyway$, be$t wi$hes and I'll talk to you again $oon.
Her parents respond,
Dearest Daughter,
NOthing makes us happier than kNOwing you're doing well. We NOtice all the hard work and commitment you have put into your studies and it is definitely NOteworthy. We just wanted to ackNOwledge your accomplishments. Thank you for your letter and we love you.

My therapist suggested I write letters to all the people I hate and set fire to them. I tried it and feel a lot better...

But now what do I do with all these letters?

Dear people who don't write capital letters,

We're the difference between helping your uncle j**... a horse and helping your uncle j**... a horse.

Mattress and p**...

Ahmed was a family man who worked very hard to take care of his family. Eventually he fell on hard times and decided to try his luck in London leaving back his family.
He toiled hard and eventually made some money. One day he decided to write a letter to his wife:
"Dear Wife, I am sorry that you and others have to endure my absence. I made £10,000 selling 100 mattresses and 1000 p**.... Very soon I'll come back and we will live the life we always dreamed of."
The letter gets to Ahmed's father first and his father wrote back:
"Dear Son, Come back now. Your wife has made £100,000 with a single mattress and no p**...."

Why would somebody write the letters of the alphabet on a bunch of dice and shove them up their nose?

It's mind-boggling!

A child writes a letter to Santa...

A child writes a letter to Santa. He writes " Dear Santa, I want a little sister for Christmas." Santa writes back to the child "Dear Billy send me your mom."

A nurse began writing a letter with a r**... thermometer

When she realised it wasn't working she exclaimed:
'Dammit, some a**... has my pen!'

My ex, Denise used to write me angry letters.

She was literally one letter away from becoming my Demise.

A letter to Keyboard Manufacturers

Dear Keyboard Manufacturers,
I'm writing to request a redesign so that 'g' and 't' wouldn't be right next to each other.

Being dyslexic has cost me several job application

Try transposing the first and last letters of the word 'this' every time you write something

When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity

Dear God,
Dear God...
Deer God.

What did Ernest Vincent Wright say when he was challenged to write a book without the letter E?

"What a novel idea!"

A young soldier writes a letter to his father.

"Dad, I got s**..."
A week later he receives a response:
"Son, I don't know much about those military decorations but you should wear it with pride"

I'm trying a different writing process in which I write out a bunch of ideas in small rough drafts, then I choose to work further on the one I think works best.

My parents are going to be impressed when they see how creative and error free my s**... letter is.

At the mental hospital

Doc: what are you doing? Patient: writing a letter I'll send to myself tomorrow. Doc: so, what does it say? Patient: are you crazy? How would I know? I haven't received it yet.

I went to the psychologist the other day

"Write letters to the people you hate the most and then burn them". She said
Ready, now... What am I supposed to do with all the letters?

My nephew has dyslexia

And I'm not a bad uncle, but is so funny when my sister goes crazy every Christmas because he write a letter for "Satan".

It's impossible persuading kids these days to write to Santa. They simply don't believe in the existence...

...of letters.

Someone told me that you can let out all your anger by writing letters about everyone you hate and then burning them…

But I was just wondering… should I keep the letters?

I'm selling my stationery bike.

The pedaling makes it nearly impossible to write a letter.

Little Johnny writes a letter to Santa

and says santa can you bring me a baby brother santa writes back hi little Johnny, can you send me your mother