The Best 63 Letter Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Letter jokes. There are some letter femail jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these letter memo puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Letter Jokes and Puns

What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters.

Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.

What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

The letter F.

Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

O B C D...

Letter joke, Your mom is so fat she starts the alphabet with the letter "O"...

What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Sir or Madam,

Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.

​

Sincerely,

​

The Internet Provider

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear sir,

Your internet access has been terminated due to illegal usage.

Sincerely, your service provider.


Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.

Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.

Johnny: I is...

Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'

Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet

What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

An envelope.

Letter joke, What starts with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter?

Milk

Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier

Sperm bank employee: What glass of milk

Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk

Sperm bank employee: Oh no

Me: What

Sperm bank employee: You drank my glass of milk

What begins with E, ends with E, and has one letter?

envelope

The Polish eye exam.

A Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license.
First, of course, he had to take an eye sight test. The optician showed him a card with the letters

~~'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.'~~ 'C Z W I K S N O S T A C Z'

'Can you read this?' the optician asked.

'Read it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'

I just received a chain letter and if I don't re-send it a dead woman will appear in my closet....

Guess who's getting laid tonight.

You can explore letter telegram reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean letter consonant dad jokes. There are also letter puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..

..so I failed her!

A snail walks into a car dealership...

And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:

"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"

As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning...

Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Me: ARRRGH!
Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"!

What's a pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Sir,

We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ...

My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...

A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'

Letter joke, My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...

I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T.

Tuesday, Thursday and Today.

What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad?

Clickbait

Letter from 7 to 6

Dear 6,

Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty nasty things together.

Sincerely,
7


Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words.

Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents?

Because the rest of the letters are not-E.

What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence?

Parole.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.

Letter to God

Dear God,

Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.

What's a pirates favourite letter?

P, because without it they're irate

There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .

Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.

What did the letter O say to the letter Q?

"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"

What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?

None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.

A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is

A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"

50% of Canada

Is the letter A

An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:

"This year I'm unable to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if you were here you would've helped me."

His son replied: "You idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden guns there."
Pretty soon, the Police read the letter, and the very next day the ground was dug by the police, and searched for guns but nothing was found.
The son wrote again: "Now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here."

Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet

that she knows of.

What's a pirate's least favorite letter?

Dear customer,

We are discontinuing your internet service due to suspicious activity/illegal downloading on your network.

The last four letters in "queue" are not silent

They're just waiting their turn

Face is a four letter word.

But preface is a foreword letter.

What's a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?

Dear Customer,

Your internet service has been terminated due to copyright infringement.

What's a Pirate's least favourite letter?

Dear Customer,

Due to recent illegal activities that have been performed through your connection, your internet service has been permanently disconnected.

-Sincerely, your ISP.

I only know 25 letters...

I don't know Y

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"

Teacher: tell me a sentence that starts with an "I"

Student: I is the...

Teacher: stop! Never put 'is' after an "I". Always put 'am' after an "I".

Student: okay! I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.

This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".

I said, "It's sedate."

Assist is 50% the letter "S"...

The rest are just there to help.

Why is the letter "C" afraid of the rest of the alphabet?

Because all the other letters are Not-Cs

I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I suck. What am I?

pear

I got a letter that was just addressed to "You Idiot".

What bothers me is that the post office knew where to deliver it.

Teacher: Use a sentence that starts with "I"

Bobby: I is...

Teacher: No, Bobby. You should say "I am", never "I is".

Bobby: I am the 9th letter of the alphabet.

What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?

adults

Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.

Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:

370HSSV - 0773H

Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI

No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.

Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:

"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."

How many seconds in a year joke

a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed.
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can accept that. How many seconds are there in a year?
P: 12 seconds
A: (shocked) how come?
P: Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd ...
A: you can go in

I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.

I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.

In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen.

And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.

A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.

Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.

Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?

Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.

Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?

Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found.

Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.

An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:

This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.

What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it?

Envelope

Poor Prince Phillip...

99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.

Old soviet joke

The new soviet leader has just taken power.

The former leaders says to him 'I have left you two letters. When you get into problems open the first letter. If you still have problems open the second letter .

About 1 year into his leadership things are going badly for the new guy. He then remembers the words of the former leader and opens the first letter, which reads 'blame all your problems on me'. The new guy does this and everything is fine for a little while.

But sadly things go from bad to worse, so he opens the second letter, which reads 'sit down and write two letters'.

The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest.

The rest are e-z.

Wrote a letter today.

Might move on to numbers tomorrow.

A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol

Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubby " do you want to see your sons picture?" hubby replies "Why? if you've seen Juan you've seen Amol"

An old farmer writes his son...

An old farmer writes his son (who is in prison) a letter and he tells his son that he won't be planting potatoes this year because there is no way he can dig up the field by himself. His son writes back and tells his his dad that there's no way he can dig up the field cause that's where he hid all the money he stole. Well, the cops read that letter and the next day the cops sure dug up that field good and proper.  The same day the cops got to digging, the son writes his dad again telling his dad to go ahead and plant his potatoes and that is the best he can do from in here.

What's a pirates favorite letter?

In best pirate voice me hart will always belong to the CCCCcccc!!!

What's a British vampires favorite letter?

Bloody L

I heard your son in the university is quite an author. Does he write for money?

"Yes, in every letter."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the letter letterbox jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working letter a touching letter piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes