Letter Jokes
161 letter jokes and hilarious letter puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about letter that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funny jokes based on the letters of the alphabet! Get your letter board and write funny words like letter c, letter j, letter t, letter e, letter b, letter y and many more. See how you can use handwriting, telegrams and other words to bring a smile on people’s faces. Learn all the ways to create a humorous letter joke.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Letter Short Jokes
Short letter jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The letter humour may include short alphabet jokes also.
- What has 4 letters, sometimes 9 letters, but never has 5 letters. Just a hint: I didn't ask a question.
- My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- If you take the first two letters of the title of each the 7 harry potter books, it spells out a secret message HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
- In Britain, when you turn 100, you get a letter from the Queen. And when you turn 16, you get a text from Prince Andrew.
- My wife found out i was cheating on her after she found all the letters I was hiding... She got so mad and said she's never gonna play scrabble with me ever again
- Bad news: a message in German sent 110 years ago by homing pigeon was just found. Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
- Queue sounds like q followed by 4 silent letters, but… They're just waiting their turn.
- I asked my wife, I'm stuck on this crossword clue Overworked postman — can you help? She said, Sure. How many letters?
Me: I'm guessing—- Too many. - What is a Pirate's favorite letter? The one from the General Manager telling him he's been traded to the Mets.
Thanks to everyone who awarded this post! You're so kind . - What's a pirate's favorite letter? A writ of safe passage from his majesty, king Charles II of England.
Share These Letter Jokes With Friends
Letter One Liners
Which letter one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with letter? I can suggest the ones about signature and paper.
- If you rearrange the letters of POSTMEN... They become VERY ANGRY.
- What's the difference between a politician and a flying pig? The letter F.
- What start with "e," ends with "e," and contains one letter? An envelope.
- I'm really good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet. I don't know why.
- What starts with a W, and has 3 letters, but ends with a T I'm not asking
- Why is C the only good letter in the English alphabet? Because the others are Not-Cs
- What starts with W, ends with T and has two letters in between. Just stating the obvious.
- What's a three letter word that starts with gas? Car
- Fun fact: Betsy Devos' name contains every letter of the alphabet that she knows of.
- What five-letter word becomes shorter when you add two letters to it? Short.
- What word means the same thing with several letters added? Mailbox
- What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s? Your spine
- Assist is 50% the letter "S"... The rest are just there to help.
- What has 6 letters, starts with 'P', and ends a sentence? Parole.
- What's a pirates favourite letter? P, because without it they're irate
Letter C Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter c jokes and even better letter c puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As told to me by my 7 YO son this morning... Him: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Me: ARRRGH!
Him: You would think it would be ARRRGH but my first love be the "C"! - What's a pirate's favorite letter? Ye'd think it was R, but his first love be the C.
- I have heard that a pirate's favorite letter is "R" or sometimes "C"... but when I took one's "P" away they became irate.
- How do you spell candy with two letters? C and Y
- What's a pirates favourite letter? (pause for everyone saying aRrrrrrr)
No, it be the C - How did they name Canada? They picked letters out of a hat: C eh, N eh, D eh.
- What's a pirate's favorite letter? Me: What's a pirates favorite letter?
Unwitting person just living their life: R?
Me: R's what you'd think but it's the C they love! - What letter is always wet? C
- English is weird. Sometimes the letter 'c' is pronounced like 's', but other times not. Source: course
- What is a pirate's favorite letter? [read with a pirate accent when they most likely say, "RRRRR"]
"You'd think it'd be R but 'tis the C they love"
Letter Writing Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter writing jokes and even better letter writing puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- What's a pirate's least favourite letter? Dear Sir,
We are writing to you because you have violated copyright ... - My russian boyfriend only writes in lowercase letters... He doesn't like Capitalism
- Struggling with sharp angles when writing the letter V? Sounds like a U problem
- Whenever I write a letter to someone, I add a footnote briefly explaining Ohm's law. It's my P.S. de resistance.
- Mom writes to her son in Poland's army: "Dear Son, I am writing this letter ever so slowly..... ....because I know you cannot read fast"
- So I used to date this graphic designer... We broke up because I caught her cheating. Writing hundreds of letters to some guy named Lorem Ipsum. What a creep, right?
- I heard your son in the university is quite an author. Does he write for money? "Yes, in every letter."
- My therapist told me to write letters to the people who hurt me and burn them. I did it. Now what should I do with the letters?
- When you're writing a letter to Heaven about how shocked you are that there is a new elk deity Dear God,
Dear God...
Deer God. - I'm applying for a job writing clues for Wordle. They are asking for five letters of reference.
Letter E Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter e jokes and even better letter e puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why was E the only letter in the alphabet to get Christmas presents? Because the rest of the letters are not-E.
- if you added the letters S and E to the X files it would be the X-ES Files. haha excess files. way too many files lol
- The first four letters of the alphabet are the hardest. The rest are e-z.
- Why is E the nicest letter? Because all the others are naughty.
- Know why the letters a, e, i, o, and u are so angry? Irritable vowel syndrome.
- I am the beginning of eternity, the end of time and space, the beginning of every end, And the end of every place. What am I? The letter 'e'.
- The letters I, Z, R and E walked into a bar. The result was bizarre.
- Asked my Spanish friend if he liked any letters in the alphabet. "C," he said. "E, too."
- I'm teaching my Grandson the alphabet at the moment, starting with the hardest first four letters.. ..the rest is just e-z
- I can spell something with more than 100 letters P-O-S-T O-F-F-I-C-E
Wrote Letter Jokes
Here is a list of funny wrote letter jokes and even better wrote letter puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the farmer whose wife left him for a traveling tractor salesman? She wrote him a John Deere letter.
- Wrote a letter today. Might move on to numbers tomorrow.
- I wrote letters to all the people I hate, and I burned them. Now I don't know what to do with the letters.
- What is a pirate's favorite letter? The one his wife wrote him before the plague stole her away.
- I wrote a reference letter while high on cannabis I highly recommended him.
- A friend and I went to a chiropractor exam and we had to unscramble the letters PEINS He wrote SPINE, he's a chiropractor now and I spend all my time on reddit.
- I wrote the perfect joke about OCD... as soon as I get the punchline to have the same number of letters as the set-up, I'll post it for you guys.
- I once fell in love with an English Teacher.... ...I wrote her a love letter and she corrected it.
- Both my mother and father had heart attacks and died after winning the lottery... I was their only child, so I wrote McDonald's a thank-you letter.
- A Christmas Wish Little Johnny wrote a letter to Santa,
Dear Santa Claus
Please send me a sister for Christmas
Santa wrote back,
Dear Little Johnny
Please send me your mother
Letter Board Jokes
Here is a list of funny letter board jokes and even better letter board puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- [An open letter to Education systems everywhere] Dear Board of Education,
So are we. - A Polish man goes into the opticians... The optician says "Can you read the letters on the board?"
"Read them?", he says, "I know him !"
Letter Jokes to Giggle and Enjoy A Night of Unforgettable Laughter
What funny jokes about letter you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sign jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make letter pranks.
Can you write a whole paragraph without the letter A?
I wouldn't recommend it.
Honestly, your sentences willl just sound wrong.
Everyone will notice you're doing something
different. Your writing won't flow smoothly. You'll
use weird words.
It's not worth the effort involved in spending
time online looking up tons of synonyms which
don't feel right, just to produce weird, stilted
prose.
You'd be better off giving up, to be honest.
What is a pirate's LEAST favorite letter?
Dear Sir or Madam,
Your IP address has been flagged for illegally downloading movies. We will have to suspend your account, pending further investigation.
​
Sincerely,
​
The Internet Provider
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an "i" in it.
Teacher: Johnny, give me a sentence with an 'i' in it.
Johnny: I is...
Teacher: No, Johnny, when you say 'i', it should be followed by 'am'
Johnny: Okay, I am the 9th letter of the alphabet
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Milk
Me: Hey, thanks for the glass of milk earlier
s**... bank employee: What glass of milk
Me: The glass of milk that was sitting on your desk
s**... bank employee: Oh no
Me: What
s**... bank employee: You drank my glass of milk
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I just received a chain letter and if I don't re-send it a dead woman will appear in my closet....
Guess who's getting laid tonight.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Cold Cold Canada.
There was an elderly couple who lived in a small house, right s**... dab on the U.S. and Canadian border. For several years the two goverments had argued over which nation the house belonged to. One day the elderly couple recived a letter stating that they were now considered full American citizens and there property was deemed as American soil. After reading this the old woman looks to her husband as says "Thank goodness, No more of those cold Canadian winters.
There's an old Italian man
There's an old Italian man, and every year, he and his son plant a tomato garden together. This particular year, however, the son is in jail, and so the old man writes him a letter.
"My son, it is regrettable that you can't be here to plant the tomato garden with me this year. The soil is too hard for me to dig myself. I look forward to the day you come home so we can continue this tradition together."
The son writes back, "Father, don't dig up the tomato garden, that's where the bodies are buried."
That night around 2 AM, the police show up at the old man's house with a warrant to search the ground for bodies. After several hours of digging around, they find nothing, apologize to the man, and go on their way.
The next day, the man receives another letter from his son, "Father, given the circumstances, this was the best I could do. You should be able to plant the tomatoes now."
In my 4th grade class the cutest girl threw away my love letter..
..so I failed her!
A snail walks into a car dealership...
And he asks the salesman about car customization. He shows the salesman a car that he's thinking about buying, but there's something he wants to change about it. The salesman asks him what it is, and the snail tells him he wants the letter 'S' painted on the doors, roof, and windows, as large as possible. The salesman wonders why, and the snail responds:
"Because when I drive down the street, I want to hear people say 'hey, look at that S-car-go!'"
What does the letter K have in common with my cousins
They are ok by themselves, but they get pretty racist when there are three of them together
My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up...
A man went to his lawyer and told him, 'My neighbour owes me £500 and he won't pay up. What should I do?' 'Do you have any proof he owes you the money?' asked the lawyer. 'Nope,' replied the man. 'OK, then write him a letter asking him for the £1,000 he owed you,' said the lawyer. 'But it's only £500,' replied the man. 'Precisely. That's what he will reply and then you'll have your proof!'
I'm not an alcoholic, I only drink on days that start with letter T.
Tuesday, Thursday and Today.
What has 9 letters and makes everyone mad?
Clickbait
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Letter from 7 to 6
Dear 6,
Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty n**... things together.
Sincerely,
7
Life is too short for my book of 5 letter words.
A Marine received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend back home...
It read as follows:
---
*Michael*,
*I can no longer continue our relationship. The distance between us is too great and too long. I must confess that I have cheated on you twice, and this situation is not fair for either of us. I'm really sorry.*
*Love, Elizabeth*
*P.S. Please return the picture you have of me*
---
The Marine, his feelings hurt, asked his fellow Marines for any snapshots they had of mothers, sisters, girlfriends, cousins, ex-girlfriends, or aunts they had. After a while he had obtained a sizeable collection, and so he stuffed them all 62 of them into an envelope, including the picture of Elizabeth, along with this letter:
---
*Elizabeth,*
*I can't quite remember what you look like. Please take your picture from the pile and return the rest.*
*Take care, Michael*
So the Pope is doing a crossword puzzle when a Bishop walks in.
"What is a four letter word for a woman that ends in -unt?" the Pope asks. The Bishop thinks for a minute, afraid to say such a word to the holiest of men. Then a miracle comes to him. "A-unt?" he suggests. "Yes, that fits better, got an eraser?"
I suffer from tinnitus and my least favorite letter in the alphabet is...
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
What starts and ends with a 'v' and is only one letter?
'w'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What has four letters, but a long sentence?
r**....
Letter to God
Dear God,
Last week, you took my favorite boxer; Muhammed Ali.
Today, you took my favorite hockey player; Gordie Howe.
I just want to let you know that my favorite candidate is Donald Trump.
There's 26 letters in the English language, combined to make millions of words, which are used to make infinite sentences for any event imaginable. . .
Yet I see the same jokes posted every day.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What did the letter O say to the letter Q?
"For God's sake man, put some pants on!"
My recent letter from the BBC read...
"Thanks for entering your wife into our new quiz show.
However, we feel you may have misread the title?
The show is actually called "Fact Hunt"
Credit @ShitJokes via Twitter.
What a pirate's favorite letter of the alphabet?
None of them. Historians suggest that most pirates would have been illiterate.
What letter do pirate's hate the most?
Dear Charter Internet Customer:
Charter Communications ("Charter") has been notified by a copyright owner, or its authorized agent, that your Internet account may have been involved in the exchange of unauthorized copies of copyrighted material (e.g., music, movies, or software). We are attaching a copy of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA) notice that Charter received from the copyright holder which includes the specific allegation.
A teacher asks her class what their favourite letter is
A student puts up his hand and says 'G'. The teacher walks over to him and says, "Why is that, Angus"
50% of Canada
Is the letter A
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old farmer wrote a letter to his innocent son in prison:
"This year I'm unable to plant potatoes because I can't dig the ground. I know if you were here you would've helped me."
His son replied: "You idiot, don't dig the ground, I have hidden guns there."
Pretty soon, the Police read the letter, and the very next day the ground was dug by the police, and searched for guns but nothing was found.
The son wrote again: "Now plant your potatoes dad, its the best I could do from here."
While bathing my 6 year old son, he stuck a wet foam letter to my back.
I pulled the letter "P" away from my skin and my son said "Dad, I peed on your back!"
-true story, just happened.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Words that start with "S" s**....
Girl: Tom, I've come to realize something about the letter s.
Boy: Tell me.
Girl: Words that start with s s**....
Boy: What do you mean?
Girl: Well, snakes s**.... So does a sting, and so does getting stabbed.
Boy: Well, Sally, if thats the case I'd like to have you over tonight for dinner.
My friend said, "I'm trying to think of words that start and end with the same letter."
I said, "How about that."
What do you get when you cross a Kangaroo and an Elephant?
A letter from the Scientific Ethics Committee and a withdrawl of your grant money.
Face is a four letter word.
But preface is a foreword letter.
A new recruit in the military was looking for a sheet of paper
He would look for a particular sheet of paper no matter the day and weather. He refused to tell anyone what the sheet of paper was about, so after a week of this recruit searching high and low for the sheet of paper, the psychiatrist declared him mentally challenged and discharged him from the military. He handed the letter of discharge to the recruit and he smiled and said "Oh yes. This is the sheet of paper I was looking for!"
I only know 25 letters...
I don't know Y
This girl said she would go out with me if I knew a six letter word that's a synonym for "calm".
I said, "It's sedate."
The word nun is just the letter n...
...doing a forward roll.
what's a pirate's least favorite letter?
Dear Sir,
this is the federal prosecutor's office, informing you that you've been convicted and charged on seven counts of piracy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I'm a fruit. If you take away my first letter, I'm a body part. If you take away my first and last letter, I s**.... What am I?
pear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
what has four letters, is a vegetable if you take away the last, an o**... if you take away the first, and gives you a sense of pride and accomplishment if you take away both
pear
There were plans to change the design of the 21st letter of the alphabet but Ed Sheeran stopped them
He's in love with the shape of u
What color is the letter M?
Pastel
What's a pirate's favorite letter?
Most people think it's the Arrr, but it really be the sea.
What contains the letters a,u, t, and s and is caused by vaccines?
adults
Kim Jong Un decided to send Donald Trump a letter in his own handwriting to let him know he was still alive.
Trump opened the letter which appeared to contain a single-line coded message:
370HSSV - 0773H
Trump was baffled, so he emailed it to the his aides, who had no clue either, so they sent it to the FBI
No one could solve it at FBI, so it went to the CIA. With no clue as to its meaning, FBI finally asked MSS (Ministry of State Security in China for help.
Within a few seconds MSS cabled back with this reply:
"Tell The President he's holding the message upside down."
How many seconds in a year joke
a person died and reached the gates of heaven. An angel was guarding the gates. The Angel said "to enter the heaven, you need to answer 3 questions". The person agreed.
A : name 2 days of a week, that starts with letter T.
P : Today and tomorrow
A: ok, I can accept that. How many seconds are there in a year?
P: 12 seconds
A: (shocked) how come?
P: Jan 2nd, Feb 2nd, March 2nd ...
A: you can go in
When is a hen following the letter W
That's it
I quit my new job as a mailman when they handed me my first letter to deliver.
I looked at it and thought, This isn't for me.
A gentleman is preparing to board a plane when he hears that the Pope is on the same flight.
Imagine his surprise when the Pope sits down in the seat next to him.
Shortly after take-off, the Pope starts a crossword puzzle. Almost immediately, the Pope turns to the gentleman and says, Excuse me, but would you know a four letter word ending in 'u-n-t' that refers to a woman?
Oh my god! the man thought. I can't tell the Pope that. There must be another word. The gentleman thinks for quite a while, then it hits him. Turning to the Pope, the gentleman says, I think the word you're looking for is 'Aunt'.
Oh, of course! the Pope exclaims. Do you have an eraser?
"Boy, I'm scared," a man said to one of his friends,
"I got a
letter from a guy who said he'd break my legs if I didn't stop
seeing his wife." "Well," replied his friend, "I guess you'll
have to stop seeing his wife." "Easy for you to say," the first
guy said. "You like her that much?" the friend asked. "It's not
that," declared the man, "He didn't sign his name."
How do ghouls sign off a letter?
Best witches and worm regards
An old farmer wrote to his son in prison:
This year I wont be able to
plant potatoes because I cant dig the field. I know if you were here
you would help me The son wrote back: Dad don't even think of
digging the field because that's where I buried the money I stole
Police read the letter and the very next day the whole field was dug
by police looking for the money but nothing was found.
The next day the son wrote again:
Now plant your potatoes dad; it's the best I can do from here.
Me - What's a 3 letter word for compete?
Dracula - Vie.
Me - It's for a crossword.
I saw this on Twitter(@clichedout) and it made me smile so hopefully someone else will get a kick out of it.
Poor Prince Phillip...
99 years old, he just missed out on getting a letter from his wife.
My friend said that, apparently, you cant make a sentence without the letter 'a'...
I don't know if they're right. Do you guys know if its true? I'm honestly kind of lost on this one...
Bill Cosby walks out of prison...
..and gets on a bus, and rides it to a long rock wall. Next to a big oak, he finds a letter.
He follows it to Mexico, where he finds Jeffrey Epstein working on his boat.
Old soviet joke
The new soviet leader has just taken power.
The former leaders says to him 'I have left you two letters. When you get into problems open the first letter. If you still have problems open the second letter .
About 1 year into his leadership things are going badly for the new guy. He then remembers the words of the former leader and opens the first letter, which reads 'blame all your problems on me'. The new guy does this and everything is fine for a little while.
But sadly things go from bad to worse, so he opens the second letter, which reads 'sit down and write two letters'.
Dear Charlie, We've been neighbors for 6 tumultuous years.
When you borrowed my snowblower, you returned it in pieces.
When I was sick, you blasted Metallica.
And when your dog decorated my lawn, you laughed.
I could go on, but I'm not one to hold grudges. So I am writing this letter to tell you that your house is on fire.
Cordially, Harry
A old man as a pet mongoose who gives birth.
Deciding he can't look after the mongoose and the pup he decides to donate them to the zoo and writes a letter to explain.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate two ~~mongooses~~ ~~mongeeses~~ ~~mongi~~
.
.
.
Dear zoo,
I would like to donate one mongoose.
PS here is another.
I received a letter with 13 stamps on it, and I immediately knew there was a good dadjoke inside
It had been reposted 12 times before
Just got this in a text from my dad.
"I've just combined laxative and alaphabet soup... I call it letter rip!"
My wife tried to apply at the post office, but they would not letter.
They said only mails work here.
Why does Russia put the letter Z on all their stuff?
Because they'd rather not be called "Not Z's"
What has more letters than the alphabet...
The Post office...
My 9 year old daughter told me this before bed... i thought i'd share.
