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Lesson Jokes

125 lesson jokes and hilarious lesson puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lesson that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

This article explores the idea of learning lessons through jokes. Discover humorous insights into the typical lessons of life, such as driving lessons, English classes, swimming classes, piano and guitar tutorials, flying lessons, and even management lessons. Learn invaluable lessons through reading a collection of jokes related to the different topics of education.

Funniest Lesson Short Jokes

Short lesson jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lesson humour may include short learn jokes also.

  1. I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.
  2. My ex had weekly lessons with the devil on how to become more evil I still don't know how much she charged him though.
  3. Whenever I go out, I always wear a stethoscope. That way, in the event of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions.
  4. Obesity kills thousands of times more Americans than shooting does, which teaches us an important lesson: Shooters do poorly given the size of their targets.
  5. I always wear my Stethoscope around my neck So in an emergency, it teaches people a valuable lesson about assumption
  6. Can everyone who is here for the yodelling lessons... Please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
  7. My wife didn't finish her morse code lessons before going sailing. She seems to alright though she keeps sending me messages to send her an SMS but I haven't got a reply yet.
  8. I told my son, I always wanted to give you a lesson on how to make a salad. Son: Why?
    Me: That's something that needs addressing.
  9. I asked my mom why she forced me to go to to singing lessons as a kid She said singing is a skill I need to a choir.
  10. My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof.

    A joke my mate told me after an after-hours lesson.

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Lesson One Liners

Which lesson one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lesson? I can suggest the ones about lecture and skills.

  1. I defeated a state chess champion in two moves My karate lessons really paid off.
  2. Why did the frog take accordion lessons? To be a polka-rana.
  3. I'm giving away free yodelling lessons So please form an Orderly, Orderly, Orderly Queue
  4. What did the blonde say after the lesson on electricity? Watt?
  5. I offered free exercise lessons for the homeless now I've got 200 squatters!
  6. I wish prostitutes would learn a lesson from eBay ...and do away with insertion fees.
  7. Free Bungie Jumping Lessons No strings attached!
  8. My wife asked me if I learned anything at my first Improv lesson. I said no.
  9. College taught me a valuable lesson. I'm still paying for it.
  10. What is the opposite of a lesson? A more-on!
  11. My friend once taught me a priceless lesson about the word "many" To me, it meant a lot.
  12. The two most valuable lessons I've learned in life: 1) never reveal everything you know.
  13. After My Music Lesson, My Teacher Said I Should Be Tenor Tenor twelve feet away from her.
  14. Why did the bass player miss his second lesson? He had a gig that night.
  15. What did EA give Sean Murray for a parting gift upon leaving EA? Game dev lessons.

Lesson Learned Jokes

Here is a list of funny lesson learned jokes and even better lesson learned puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • News: Hillary Clinton concedes her defeat to Donald Trump in a private phone call. Safe to say she's learned her lesson with emails!
  • Now that we've learned all this year's terrible lessons... ... I can't wait until 2020 is hindsight.
  • I told my mate i was on my way to a filipino lesson He said "Hey i've been wanting to learn a new language, can i tagalog?"
  • Love your neighbor as you love yourself is an important lesson. It's how I learned to give a hand-job!
  • Before taking lessons, Elton John first learned how to play the piano by ear. I still think it was easier to use my fingers.
  • If there's a lesson to be learned from the Oscar Pistorius tragedy, It's that cyborgs are not to be trusted.
  • Educational video website Lynda.com got hacked I hope they learned their lesson.
  • There is a lesson behind every joke. If you don't learn anything, you are the joke.
  • A mathematician was charged with a DUI That day, he learned an important lesson - to never drink and derive.
  • I think that the powerful, elite titans of industry have learned an important lesson from this whole Harvey Weinstein ordeal. Never hire a board of directors.

Valuable Lesson Jokes

Here is a list of funny valuable lesson jokes and even better valuable lesson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I've started wearing a stethoscope around my neck... So, if there's a medical emergency I get to teach people a valuable lesson about making assumptions based on someone's appearance.
  • A couple of police officers taught me a valuable lesson about grocery stores. Apparently, employees aren't supposed to have free thyme.
  • I taught my son a valuable life lesson today about not letting people take advantage of you. It cost him £50.
  • jenga teaches children a valuable life lesson. That if you work hard and spend a lot of time on something, some idiot will come along and ruin it all for you.
  • My scout leader taught me a very valuable lesson... ... "If you lick your fingers and wet it a little, it will slide right in". Threading needles has never been this easy!
  • When I have kids I'm going to teach them valuable lessons like don't do drugs ...Sell them!
  • You know something? Minecraft taught me a valuable life lesson...
    Never spend your diamonds on a h**...
  • Minecraft taught us all a valuable lesson Never spend diamonds on a h**...
Lesson joke, Minecraft taught us all a valuable lesson

English Lesson Jokes

Here is a list of funny english lesson jokes and even better english lesson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I finished my English lessons yesterday. My mom asked me how it had gone on a scale from one to ten.

    It was Past Perfect Tense.

Driving Lesson Jokes

Here is a list of funny driving lesson jokes and even better driving lesson puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Dad takes his son for a driving lesson Son: Dad, I'm so nervous, I can't stop shaking, what are we going to do?
    Dad: Parkinson.
  • When Chuck Norris went to his first driving lesson He got in the car and said Ok. This is lesson number 1.
  • A blonde shows up to her first driving lesson and says "Oh, there's a *front* seat, too?
  • Why don't they have driving lessons and s**... ed on the same day in Saudi Arabia? They don't want to overwork the camel.
  • Why isnt there driving lessons and s**... ed on the same day in the Middle East? The goat needed a break.
  • Why can't Mexican schools have s**...-ed classes and driving lessons on the same day? Not enough donkeys
Lesson joke, Why can't Mexican schools have s**...-ed classes and driving lessons on the same day?

Gather Around for Fun Lesson Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about lesson you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean study jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lesson pranks.

Yesterday my daughter was playing in the garden when I saw her kill a butterfly. So to teach her a lesson I said, "Just for that you don't get any butter for a month."

Today in the kitchen she killed a cockroach. I said, "Nice try."

Virtually every Harry Potter character can teach us a lesson.

For example, Barty Crouch Jr. taught us that drinking can make you Moody.

A Short History Lesson

The old missionaries who arrived in the West Indies were the cannibals first taste of Christianity

The birds and the bees

A little girl came home from school quite confused after her first s**...-ed class, and asked her mother to explain.
"Well," said her mother, quite embarrassed, "There are birds and there are bees..."
"That's what I don't understand! Don't birds eat bees?"
Her father piped up from the next room, "That's lesson two!"

A lady walks into an ice cream shop.

"Can I get a chocolate scoop on a cone?" she asks.
"Sorry, ma'am, but we're out of chocolate ice cream," says the man behind the counter.
"Oh, well then can I get a chocolate sundae?" she asks.
"We're out of chocolate," he repeats.
"Well, how about a chocolate milkshake?"
The man is frustrated at this point and decides to teach her a lesson.
"Ma'am, do you see the 'van' in vanilla?"
"Yes," she says.
"Do you also see the 'straw' in strawberry?"
"I do."
"Ma'am, do you see the 'frick' in chocolate?"
"There's no 'frick' in chocolate..."
"THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU!"

Jimmy approached his teacher

After looking at the syllabus for their next lesson on graphing, Jimmy approached his teacher with a stern look on his face and said, I'll do algebra, I'll do trig, I'll even do statistics, but graphing is where I draw the line!

What's Resurrection?

There was a man teaching the children's Sunday school class, and his lesson was on resurrection. The man asks the kids if they know what the word resurrection means.
After a long silence a little boy in the back of the room raises his hand and says "Well I don't know what it is but I know that if it lasts more than 4 hours, you have to go see a doctor."

practicing with the violin

A little boy goes to his weekly violin lesson, but when he opens the violin case he blurts out a curse, and slams the case shut again.
"What's wrong?" asks the teacher.
"It seems my father is going to rob the bank with my violin"

I was Jesus last time!

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin 5, and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson..
'If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said,
' Ryan , you be Jesus !'

Math in the real world

Basic Math is the subject I teach at a small community college in western North Carolina. I call one part of the curriculum Practical Applications for Living in the Real World. The day after I presented a lesson on simple and compound interest, one of my older students approached me in the hallway. "You really taught me a great deal about my life yesterday," he said. "I realized I've been struggling with a lack of interest, compounded daily, for thirty years."

A lady runs up to a golf pro giving a lesson ...

... and says "Help! I've just been stung by a bee!". The golf pro asks where. The lady says "Between the first and second holes." The pro says, "Well, I can tell you right now your stance is way too wide."

An International School Teacher

...starts a lesson with her 4 students, who are an American kid, an African kid, a European kid and a Chinese kid. She asks "what's your opinion on food scarcity in other countries?"
first, the African kid asks "what's food?"
the European kid asks "what's scarcity?"
the American kid asks "what's other countries?"
and finally the Chinese kid asks "what's my own opinion?"

Lessons.

A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now, boys, if I stood on my head the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I should turn red in the face." "Yes, sir," the boys said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow in the back shouted, "Cause yer feet ain't empty."

A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.

His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.
When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a d**....
He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"

A man decides he wants to learn to play bass.

He signs up for lessons and the first day the instructor says to him "today we're learning E." and he just plays E over and over again. The next lesson the instructor says he'll be teaching him A and he plays A over and over again. The third lesson is D and he plays D over and over again. At the end of the lesson the instructor says "next lesson we'll learn G" but the guy replies "I can't make the next lesson, I have a gig."

A woman gets a golf lesson.

A woman goes to her local golf course and gets a lesson from the course pro. After the lesson she decides to play a round to reinforce what she learned. But after only 20 minutes the golf pro sees her back at clubhouse. "What happened" asks the pro. She replies "I was stung by a bee while playing and didn't feel like continuing". "Oh no, where at" replies the golf pro. She says "between the first and second hole".
"Oh, I see" says the pro, "your stance is too wide".

Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad are fishing on a boat

As Jesus winds down the fishing lesson, he notes the time. He bids them farewell, and walks across the lake home.
After a while, Moses decided he wasn't very good at fishing, so he parted the lake and went home.
Being the last one left, Muhammed ██████████ █████ ████████████████ ██████████ ███████████████ ███████

What does a chemistry lesson and a night club have in common?

Someone drops the acid and someone drops the base.

Two men are hunting together in a tree stand.

One leans over to his friend and says
"Hey I can see your house from up here! I can see through the window, it looks like your wife is cheating on you with some guy."
The husband in disbelief says to the other,
"Well if you can, shoot her in the head and him in the nuts. That'll teach them a lesson."
His buddy giggles as he raises his gun and says, "I can get that in one shot!"

A professor is giving his class a lesson about languages.

He says, "In some languages, a double negative stays negative, while in English, a double negative becomes a positive. There is no language, however, where a double positive becomes a negative."

A student at the back of the class says, "Yeah, right."

Robert Kardashian taught Kim an important lesson.

You can become famous if you help a black guy get off.

Pirate joke

A teacher is giving a history lesson on pirates. He asks the students a question.
"What is a pirates favorite letter".
A student's excitedly shouts " R "!
Teacher replys "You would think it's R but it's the C they love".

I was at my GF's house hanging with her and her smoking hot younger sister

My girlfriend leaves the room leaving me alone with her sister. She's been gone for a while when her sister climbs up on top of me and says "we should have s**... right this second, any way you want it, before my sister gets back". I immediately throw her off and start walking out. My girlfriend is waiting outside the room and kisses me, saying I won her trust.
Lesson learned: always keep c**... in the car

A teacher was giving a math lesson...

...and she asked one of her students, "If you had two dollars, and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
The student replied, "Two dollars."
"Not quite," the teach responded. "Sounds like you don't know your addition.
"No," the student said, "you just don't know my father."

When I was 6 years old my priest took me aside and gave me a lesson about the birds and the bees.

He did this to many other kids. It went on for about 2 years. Until he left the church to pursue his career in zoology. He just loved teaching kids about animals. What a great man.

A friend of mine died last friday, while drinking his martini

It's on that day I learnt an important lesson:
Though laughter is the best medicine, in certain situations the Heimlich maneuver may be more appropriate.

A math teacher went to school drunk...

He told the class that they were going to learn derivatives and then proceeded to pass out. He was removed from the school and fired immediately. The lesson?
Don't drink and derive

Maths lesson

Jimmy comes home from school and his mum asks him what he's learned
today. "I learned that if I have three apples and Jenny gives me two more apples, I'll have five apples."
"That's right," says his mum. "So if you have four bananas and I give you three more, how many will you have?"
"Dunno. We haven't done bananas yet."

Someone was handing out certificates for a free Karate Lesson at the mall yesterday

He told me I could only Taek Won Do

I found a wallet on the sidewalk today. I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but then I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?

And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.
(Emo Philips)

Double positives

One day, during a lesson at the community college, the professor is explaining how a double negative will always be positive but a double positive can never be negative.
To which his student replies "yeah right"

I got my girlfriend pregnant and I learned a very important lesson

The price difference between a c**... and an abortion.

An English teacher is giving a lesson on double negatives

He says to the class: "One of the curious conventions of the English language is that two negatives always result in a positive statement; however, never do two positives result in a negative one."
A voice from the back of the room says, "Yeah right".

An inspector, making his rounds, inspects an elementary school.

One teacher says to her class, "Treat him like you would the President of the United States." Sure enough, later that day, the inspector walks in to see how the lesson is doing. Just then, one of the students gets up, stomps over to the inspector, punches him in the gut, nicks his phone, and hides behind a curtain.
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" shouts the teacher.
The kid says, "Deleting Twitter."

A Bass Teacher is excited about getting a new, young student.

The kid is comes in for his first lesson and learns all the notes on the E string.
Next week he comes in and the instructor shows him all of the notes on the A string.
The third week comes, the teacher is waiting, but the kid never shows up. Annoyed, he calls him to see where he is.
The kid picks up and says,
"Oh, sorry man, I got a gig..."

Lesson 4 of 6: The Crow and the Rabbit

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A rabbit asked him, can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long? The crow answered: sure, why not! So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested.
A fox jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
**Moral of the story**: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very high up.

An elderly woman appears in court for stealing

A can of peaches from the grocery store. The judge asks "how many peaches were in that can?" To which she replied "about 6 your honor."

"Very well then. 6 days in detention for you. I hope you've learned your lesson." When you suddenly hear her grumpy husband in the crowd "she also stole a can of peas!!"

Too many letters in the alphabet

A teacher was going over the alphabet with her students. As they were counting the letters they kept getting 27 instead of 26. After a few more times counting and getting the same result, she realized she needed to use the restroom.
She went to the restroom and then returned to the alphabet lesson. Again she counted the letters and this time she got 26!
Turned out that she had two p.

Slow typing...

After 25 years... I was chatting with my classmate -my childhood crush online. She asked me why am I typing so slow. I said because my other hand isn't free.
She's not replying anymore.
Lesson learnt
-Never smoke while texting..

What do s**... bomb instructors always start their lesson with?

"Right lads, I'm only going to show you this once!"

A kid asks the Sunday school teacher which part of the body goes to Heaven first. The teacher decides to make it a lesson and asks the kids what they think.

Sarah says 'it's your brain, because that's what controls everything'
Tina says 'it's your heart, because that's where Jesus lives'
Johnny yells out 'your feet!'
The teacher asks why the feet.
Johnny replies 'because I looked in Mrs Brown's bedroom window this morning and she had her feet in the air screaming 'Jesus! I'm coming!'

My son asked me to give him a life lesson.

I said, "Son, you see that mountain over there?"
He said, "Yes."
I said, "If you work really hard and you climb that moment, for days and says... what happens when you reach the top?"
He said, "You see amazing things?"
I said, "No, you realise you left your camera at the bottom. Then when you get back down there you realise that someone's stolen it. That's life."

Taking a lesson because her golf game had been going so badly, a woman had just started her first round when she was stung by a bee.

Distraught and rather angry and disheartened besides, she went back into the clubhouse and told the golf pro about the incident.
"Where did it sting you?" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole," she replied.
The pro shook his head and quickly exclaimed: "That's your problem right there. You have your feet too far apart.

My husband cheated

I caught my husband cheating. I'm not going to lie, I didn't handle it in the most mature way possible. I threw an iron at him and took quite a bit of money from him.
Then later we had a heart to heart and decided never to play Monopoly again. Lesson learned.

A bass player joke.

A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"
"I blew it off I had a gig."

What do you call a lesson in f**...?

A tootorial.

The head instructor at the Al-Qaeda's training camp starts his lesson on s**... b**......

"Now listen up closely everyone be, I'm only gonna be showing this once".

A teacher is giving a lesson when suddenly she hears someone scream outside the classroom.

She rushes out the door to find one of her students on the ground crying.
Teacher: Oh my God, what happened?!
Student: Someone just pulled a gun on me and tried to rob me!
Teacher: Oh my God, are you okay?
Student: Yes. All they took was my homework.

Did you hear about the fencing teacher's new, though unoriginal lesson?

The riposte, he called it.

Meanwhile at an ISIS training camp

A bunch of prospective terrorists gathered for their final training lesson before going into the field.
Their instructor said, Now, watch closely, children. I can only show you how to do this once.

Purchased Vs. Homemade

Six year old Annie returns home from school and says she had her first family planning lesson at school.

Her mother, very interested, asks; "How did it go?" "I nearly died of shame!" she answers.

"Sam from over the road, says that the stork brings babies.
Sally next door said you can buy babies at the orphanage.
Pete in my class says you can buy babies at the hospital."

Her mother answers laughingly, "But that's no reason to be ashamed."

"No, but I can't tell them that we were so poor that you and daddy had to make me yourselves! that I was HOMEMADE."

A mother taught her son to go to the bathroom by the numbers.

1. Open your fly.
2. Take out your equipment.
3. Pull back the skin.
4. Do your business.
5. Let the skin forward.
6. Stow your equipment.
7. Close your fly."
She checked on him often to make sure he had learned his lesson, and each time heard him through the bathroom door saying, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6. 7."
She was pleased with his progress until that day when she passed the bathroom door and heard, "3-5, 3-5, 3-5, 3-5, 3-5, 3-5."

I was walking down Fifth Avenue today and I found a wallet

I was gonna keep it rather than return it.
But I thought: "Well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel?"
And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson.






PS:- This was a joke cracked by Emo Philips way back in the 80s - I really loved it and wanted to share it here

Bob Seger sits in a park with a tired-eyed old man. He's learning how to play chess.

After going over the layout and setup of the board, the old man begins a lesson on to the movement of the individual pieces.
Queens move in all directions, any distance. Kings are the same but with only one space. He didn't understand the knight, though.
Two in one direction, then one to the side.
Hm, funny how the knight moves.

This joke is translated from georgian.

A teacher is having a lesson about good deeds.
She teaches the kids to help people cross the road and such.
The next day a group of kids go over to the teacher and one of them says:
Hey teacher, Me, Zach, Andy, George, Tom, John and Luke helped a lady to cross the street.
The teacher asked:
Why so many of you?
The kids answer:
She wasnt crossing.

Quick grammar lesson:

You're: You are
My: fire
The one: desire
Believe when: I say
I want it: that way

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds

Two boys walk late into class

Their pants were wet up to their knees.
The teacher asks, "Where have you been."
One of the boys says to the teacher, "We were throwing pebbles in the lake."
The teacher, feeling generous told the boys to sit down at their desks and tells the class there will be a new student joining them today, and starts the lesson
Ten minutes later a girl walks into class, soaking wet from head to toe.
The teacher asks, "You must be the new student, what's your name dear?"
The girl responds, "I'm Pebbles."

An English teacher is giving a lesson about double negatives and how they turn positive. The teacher then states that there are no double positives that make a negative statement.

A student in the back says "yeah, right".

Quick Grammar Lesson.

They're = they are
We're = we are
You're = you are
My fire = the one desired
Believe me = when I say
I want it = that way.

My Spanish teacher quit her job in the middle of our numbers lesson

She left without a Tres

An elementary school teacher was handing out samples of deer jerky to anyone who wanted to try it.

It was part of the lesson about pioneer days and she hadn't yet told them what kind of meat it was.
She was giving clues to help the students. "I'm sure all of you have seen one as there are a lot of them around here". No response.
"The males often clash to prove who is toughest". Still no response.
Finally she says "You have probably heard your mother call your father this."
Suddenly one of the students hacks and then yells "Spit it out! Spit it out! It's an a**...!"

For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...

...and pays for 5 lessons.
After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly.
After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says.
After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.
"Where the h**... have you been?" Dad demands.
"Sorry dad, I had a gig!"

Foul mouthed parrot

An old woman has a pet parrot with a filthy vocabulary. She warns him again and again to clean up his language. He just replies, "S\*!#w You, you old B\*\^$h.
So she grabs him and sticks him in the fridge to teach him a lesson.
As the poor parrot is there in the fridge, getting colder and colder, he spots a chicken, plucked and ready for the oven. He exclaims, "Holy s**...! What did you say to her"!

The first time I tried parachuting...

The scariest thing happened on my first parachuting lesson. The first time you jump, you get harnessed to the Instructor.
As I plummeted through the air, waiting for the instructor to open the parachute, he turned to me and asked
"So, how long have you been an Instructor for?"

I recently moved into an apartment building from a house.

The neighbors came knocking at the door at 2am, are all high density living situations full of a**....
Anyway, it totally interupted my drum lesson.

A man buys a parrot and brings him home.

But the parrot starts insulting him and gets really n**..., so the man picks up the parrot and tosses him into the freezer to teach him a lesson. He hears the bird squawking for a few minutes, but all of a sudden the parrot is quiet. The man opens the freezer door, the parrot walks out, looks up at him, and says, "I apologize for offending you, and I humbly ask your forgiveness."
The man says, "Well, thank you. I forgive you."
The parrot then says, "If you don't mind my asking, what did the chicken do?"

Be first

A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5, and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, "Let my brother have the first pancake. I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus."

2 Blondes drive past corn field

They see another blonde, in the middle of the field in a row boat, rowing away.
"It's blondes like that that give the rest of us a bad name!" one complains to the other. "Yeah! If I could swim, I'd teach her a lesson!" replied the other

Can you use urinate in a sentance?

A teacher is going over a vocabulary lesson with her class. She asked if they can use the word urinate in a sentance to show they know what it means. Tommy raises his hand and says "teacher before bed every night I have to urinate" the teacher says "very good tommy,, anyone else?" Billy raises his hand and promptly gets called on. He says "teacher, *you're an 8* but if you had bigger b**... you'd be a 10"

Lesson joke, Can you use urinate in a sentance?

jokes about lesson