The Best 90 Lesbia Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lesbia jokes. There are some lesbia homosexual jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lesbia conservative puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lesbia Jokes and Puns

My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.



They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!

For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.

Why can't a lesbian diet and wear make up at the same time?

Because..........It is hard to eat Jenny Craig with Mary Kay on her face.

Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

When they get to third base they think they've scored

Lesbia joke, Why don't they allow lesbians to play baseball?

What are lesbians prescribed for depression?

tricoxagin

(say it a couple times you'll figure it out)

Why did the lesbian go to Sports Authority?

because she didn't like dicks.


New lesbian species of dinosaur discovered.

Lickalottapus.

Why do lesbians prefer going to Sports Authority?

They don't like Dicks...

Lesbia joke, Why do lesbians prefer going to Sports Authority?

LESBIAN DIET

Q: Why cant a lesbian go on a diet and wear makeup at the same time?
A: Because they cant eat Jenny Craig and have Mary Kay on their face at the same time.

So I have these lesbian neighbors...

They asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and then got me a watch. I think they misunderstood me.

An old drunk was at the bar when...

He saw this beautiful woman drinking alone at the corner of the bar alone. So he waved the bartender over and ask the bartender to send a bottle of the most expensive champagne to the woman.

The bartender, "nah, I wouldn't bother with that. She's a lesbian." But the old drunk insisted.

A short while later, the old drunk sauntered over to the woman, "So...which part of Lesbia are you from?"

Why are lesbians always low on cash?

Because they're constantly eating out!

You can explore lesbia transsexual reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lesbia lesbianism dad jokes. There are also lesbia puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I know this lesbian couple who gave me a watch...

The couple gave me a very nice Rolex for my birthday. I'm slightly disappointed though. I should of clarified what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".

What do lesbian vegetarians eat?

Vaggie burgers

If you had lesbian parents,

You would be in an endless cycle of "Go ask your mother."

What did the two lesbian vampires say to each other?

Same time next month?

My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

They gave me a Rolex. I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

Lesbia joke, My lesbian neighbours asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

How do two lesbians pass their time when on their period?

Finger painting.

My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas...

My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for Christmas.

They got me a Rolex.

They clearly misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."

My lesbian friends got me a Rolex for Christmas

I don't think they understood when I said 'I wanna watch'


Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a wedding cake shop...

To plan for their upcoming nuptials. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage we won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you next month!

So, my lesbian friend asked how I view lesbian relationships.

In Hd was not the correct answer.

My lesbian friends just got me a Rolex for my birthday.

I think they misunderstood me when I told them "I wanna watch."

Two lesbians named Rachel walk in to a bakery...

To buy a cake for their upcoming wedding. After learning that the cake will be for their own wedding, the baker refuses service. Offended, the couple can't believe the guy is so opposed to gay marriage that he won't even bake a cake. The baker replies, "No no I'm fine with gay marriage-- I just can't support inter-Rachel marriage."


(posted before but I felt it was an appropriate time for it to rerun.)

Lesbian relationships

The other day a feminist asked me how I view lesbian relationships. 

Apparently "in HD" was the wrong answer. 

Why can't lesbians have sex at concerts?

Because rock beats scissors.

As a Lesbian, I feel like I wasted my time learning to cook.

All my partner and I do is eat out.

A 'cure' for lesbianism.

I'm sorry in advance. My dad just told me this joke last night.

"Scientists believe they have found a a cure for lesbianism. The cure can be found in a prescription drug called tricoxsagain."

My lesbian neighbors got me a Rolex for Christmas

I guess they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

My lesbian sister told me that most girls are like spaghetti noodles

Straight until you get them wet.

My lesbian friend gave a me a Rolex for my birthday.

I don't think she understood when I said: "I wanna watch."

My lesbian friend asked me how I view Lesbian Relationships

Apparently, in HD wasn't an appropriate answer.

What happens when two lesbians build a house?

It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

How do lesbian carpenters work?

No studs. All tongue in groove.

Why don't lesbians cook?

They prefer to eat out.

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority..

Because they hate Dick's

The two lesbians next door.

The lesbians next door asked me what I would like for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when they gave me a Rolex.

It was very nice of them, but I think they misunderstood me when I said, "I wanna watch."

What do you do when two lesbians make out in front of you in a bus?

You get off.

My lesbian neighbors gave me a Rolex for my birthday

It was mighty kind of them, but they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"

What did the lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog?

We really do taste like chicken.

I saw two lesbians kissing in the park.

"There's a time and a place for that," I told my wife.

She said, "Yeah..."

I said, "It's 9pm and my house."

The lesbian couple next door got me a Rolex for my birthday...

I think they misheard me when I said "I wanna watch"

If two lesbians get married, who does the cooking?

Neither, they both eat out.

Why is the lesbian lifestyle so expensive?

They're always eating out.

My lesbian neighbors asked me what I wanted for my birthday.

I was quite surprised when the gave me a rolex. It was an incredibly generous gift, but I think they misunderstood me when I said "I wanna watch."

Why don't lesbians make good cooks?

They're always eating out.

In a lesbian relationship, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither. They eat out.

Where do lesbian white supremacists go to drink?

A klan-dyke bar.

Why do so many lesbians have short hair?

They just get really excited about scissors.

A lesbian couple gets married and decides to only get 1 diamond ring between them

Two birds, one stone

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2, but how did they get in the light bulb?

The lesbians next door

My lesbian neighbors wanted me to help them conceive a child and agreed to do it the old fashioned way because they are very easy going. We've been trying for three months and I haven't had the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year...

A lesbian woman is hitting on another woman in a bar.....

The other woman tells the lesbian "Im sorry but I straight."

The lesbian wispers into her ear, "So is spaghetti, until it gets hot and wet"

My lesbian GF and I suck at saving

Guess we need to stop eating out

The Lesbians Nextdoor

The lesbians nextdoor asked me what I wanted for Christmas.
I said I wanna watch.
I was disappointed when they bought me a Rolex.

My lesbian neighbors bought me a Rolex for my birthday

I don't think they knew what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"

A lesbian walks into a bar

She takes a seat, and the bartender asks, "Would you like to try our new liquor?"

"Sure!" she says, "I'd love to meet her."

The lesbians next door bought me a nice Rolex for my birthday.

I'm trying to be grateful for the thoughtful gift, but I can't help but think they misunderstood when I'd told them that for my birthday, "I wanna watch."

What's a lesbians favorite language?

Gaelic

Do you ever wonder why so many lesbians have short hair?

It's because they get excited about scissors.

What do lesbian pirates say?

Arrr scissor me timbers

The lesbian couple next door asked me what I wanted for my birthday, so I told them.

It was very nice of them to get me a Rolex, but I think they misunderstood when I said "I wanna watch"

How many lesbians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know, they wouldn't let me watch.

My lesbian neighbors got me a rolex for my birthday.

I guess they didn't realize what I meant when I said I wanna watch .

How do lesbians sound?

Muffled.

My lesbian neighbors got me a rolex for my birthday

But I don't think they understood when I said I want to watch

My lesbian neighbours gifted me a Rolex today!

I don't think they understood when I said I wanna watch.

Why are lesbian carpenters the most successful?

No Studs, everything is tongue & groove, and all projects are done lickety split!

I'm against lesbian couples adopting a child...

Which one is going to tell the dad jokes?

How are lesbians and walruses different?

One has a mustache and smells like fish and the other one is a walrus.

There's a lesbian couple that lives next door to me.

For christmas they bought me a Rolex. It seems they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch.

I saw two lesbian quantum physicists in a super position.

It was a double-slit experiment.

My lesbian neighbors asked how I view lesbian relationships

In HD was not the right answer

Why do lesbians tend to dress alike?

They rub off on eachother.

Why do lesbians shop at Sports Authority?

Because they don't like dicks.

My lesbian friend just bought me a rolex for my birthday.

I don't mean to be rude, but that's not what I meant when I said "I wanna watch".

The lesbian couple across the street got me a Rolex for my birthday

It's beautiful and a very thoughtful gift, but I think they miss understood me when I said I wanna watch .

The lesbian couple across the street allowed me to see them have sex for my birthday.

It's a beautiful and very thoughtful experience, but I think they misunderstood me when I said I wanna watch.

A lesbian couple are building a house next to me...

They're not going to use any studs. It's all tongue and groove.

My lesbian friend and her girlfriend gave me a watch for my birthday

Which is great and all, but that's not what I meant when I said "I wanna watch"...

Why are there no lesbians in Saudi Arabia?

Because rock beats scissors.

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

See you the same time next month.

A lesbian couple discussed what they should go eat.

They died of starvation.

My lesbian next door neighbors just gave me a Rolex for my birthday

I really like it but I think they misunderstood when I said I wanna watch .

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you in 28 days.

A lesbian couple got their elderly neighbor a Rolex for his birthday...

Upon opening it the man said, This is really nice, but I think you ladies misunderstood when I told you I wanna watch

You might be a lesbian if

You hate cooking but you love eating out.

Why do lesbians make horrible delivery drivers?

They only focus on the box and ignore the package!

My lesbian friend told me that she was planning on cheating on her girlfriend after finding out her girlfriend had cheated on her first.

Tit for tit.

What do lesbians and gang members have in common?

Stay strapped or get clapped

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lesbia tricoxagain jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lesbia hetero piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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