Lep Jokes
95 lep jokes and hilarious lep puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lep that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Lep Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good lep joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Call a girl beautiful 1,000 time and she won't think twice...
Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.
Because elephants never forget
Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree?
Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
A Roman soldier is bragging to his friend: 'You'll never guess with how many women I've slept!'
'Mmm?'
'Not that many!'
I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night
It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next
I want to know if this brazillian joke makes sense in other cultures
A woman went out and did not return home. On the next day she told her husband that she had slept at her friend's house. Not believing her, the husband called 10 of her best friends and none of them knew what he was talking about.
A man went out and did not return home. On the next day, he told his wife he had slept at his friend's house. Not believing him, the wife called 10 of his best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had spent the night there and the other 2 said he was still there.
I took an epileptic girl to a rave
I jokingly told her, "I hear this place has rave reviews", but she just rolled her eyes at me.
I was so exhausted when I went to bed that I slept right through my son and his friends having a r**... w**... and heavy metal party in the yard all thru the night. As the sun came up, the party was still in full swing and my phone had blown up with messages complaining about the noise and the smell.
So I wake up in the morning and I step outside and I take a deep breath and I get real high and I scream from the top of my lungs 'WHAT'S GOIN' ON?'
How can you tell the difference between an Indian and African elephant?
One of them is an elephant
My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo
The money's not great but the tips are huge
Death: Jack! Your time is up. I'll take you now.
Jack: Not today please, I have a lot more to do.
Death: Oh no, you're the first on the list to die.
Jack: Alright, I'll finish what I'm doing first. Even better, I'll make you some coffee while you wait. And after I'm done, we can leave.
(Jack put sleeping pills in the coffee and when Death fell asleep, Jack erased his name and placed it at the end of the list)
Death: Woah! My friend, I slept well. You're a good person Jack, you treated me very well. Because of that, I'll just start with the last one on the list.
What's the difference between an Indian and an African elephant?
One's an elephant.
For Valentine's Day, my wife finally fulfilled a fantasy of mine when dressed up as a nurse.
At last, I got to roleplay having access to healthcare.
I had s**... for 3 hours last night...
We roleplayed as doctor and patient, and I was in the waiting room for 2 hours and 58 minutes.
Wife asks her husband to fix the fridge. He replies "What am I, a repairman?" So she got their neighbor to fix it. She tells her husb "It's fixed. Our neighbor said he would fix it if I either slept with him or baked him a pie."
Husband laughs and asks "So what kind of pie did you bake him?"
Wife replies "What am I, a baker?"
I bought my friend an elephant for their room.
They said thank you. I said don't mention it.
What is the difference between a literalist and a kleptomaniac?
A comma.
A literalist takes everything literally. A kleptomaniac takes everything, literally.
For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?
Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)
Two Romans were in a bar having a conversation..
Roman 1: you won't believe how many women I've slept with
Roman 2: mmm?
Roman 1: don't be ridiculous, not that many
How do you make a room full of epileptics go nut?
Ask someone with parkingsons disease to turn off the lights
A joke my 4 year old came up with today...
Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"
A man's wife doesn't come home one night.
The next morning, the wife tells her husband that she had slept over at a friends house. The husband then contacted all of his wife's friends asking about it: none of them said that she was staying the night.
A few nights later, the husband doesn't come home one night. Just like his wife, the next morning he tells her that he had slept over at a friends place. His wife then contacted all of the husbands friends to ask about: and apparently the husband was at 8 houses, 2 of which said he was still there!
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