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Leopard Jokes

39 leopard jokes and hilarious leopard puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leopard that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking to liven up your day? Check out these hilarious leopard jokes that will have you in stitches! With humor about leopard print, leopard geckos, Amur Leopards, Puma, and Camouflage, you are sure to find the perfect pun for any occasion. Get ready for some geeky cougar fun to lighten your mood!

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Funniest Leopard Short Jokes

Short leopard jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leopard humour may include short panther jokes also.

  1. A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra. But he was spotted.
  2. Def Leopard is the safest band to air drum to while driving Because you can keep one hand on the steering wheel.
    Yeah, I know its Def Leppard, auto correct messed that up for me.
  3. A leopard can carry something twice its weight into a tree and a cougar can carry something half her age to bed.
  4. Is it hard to spot a leopard? No. They come that way.

    \- Courtesy of my eight year old, about ten seconds ago.
  5. I can't remember if I had a Dalmatian or leopard when I was a kid. Either way, my memory of my pet is kinda spotty.
  6. A Priest, a Rabbi, a Nun, two gorillas, a leopard, a horse, two turtles, and a dragonfly walk into a bar. Bartender yells, What is this, some sort of joke?
  7. Investment question If a leopard and a cheetah both had companies, which stock should you buy?
    A: The leopard's, because cheetahs never prosper.
  8. Did anybody see the article about the leopard whose fur was bleached solid white? It was recently spotted
  9. Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
    A: Because he was always spotted.
  10. Why are giraffes real but unicorns aren't? What's more believable a horse with a horn or a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot neck?

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Leopard One Liners

Which leopard one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leopard? I can suggest the ones about lion and cheetah and tiger.

  1. You know why a leopard are bad at hiding? Because they're always spotted.
  2. What's the biggest thing that separates Jaguars from Leopards? The Pacific Ocean.
  3. Why can't leopards hide? Because they are always spotted!
  4. Animals in the jungle played hide and seek, and always… the leopard was spotted!
  5. When a cougar needs hearing aids, what is she now called? A deaf leopard.
  6. Why are leopards so bad at hiding? No matter where they hide, they're always spotted
  7. How do you spot a leopard? You don't, they come that way
  8. Why are leopards so horrible at hide and seek? Because they're always spotted.
  9. What do you call a slow leopard? A leotard
  10. What did the Leopard say after eating a chili dog? That hit the spot.
  11. Why can't a leopard hide? He's always spotted
  12. Which side of a leopard has more spots? The outside
  13. Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
    A: Because he was always spotted.
  14. Q: Why couldn't the leopard play hide and seek?
    A: Because he was always spotted.
  15. Snow leopards are no longer endangered They're extinct

Leopard Print Jokes

Here is a list of funny leopard print jokes and even better leopard print puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A complete list of things that look awesome with leopard-print: Leopards. that's it.
Leopard joke, A complete list of things that look awesome with leopard-print:

Comical & Quirky Leopard Jokes for a Roaring Good Time

What funny jokes about leopard you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheetah jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leopard pranks.

The police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the m**... case?" The officer responded, "I'd like to interview the bartender wearing high heels and a leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

The capital police chief asked, "Do you have any leads or suspects for the congressional riot?" The officer responded, "I'd like to question the senator wearing high heels and a spandex leopard print dress." The chief frowned and said...

"Please, just wear your police uniform."

What's the difference between a jungle cat who wrote his PhD thesis on the economic effects of taxation, and the order of insects that includes butterflies and moths?

One's a leopard doctor of tax economy, the other's a lepidopteral taxonomy

Lost in africa

Two friends became lost during a safari in Africa. Whilst discussing how to find their way out, they heard a viscous snarl to their left. Upon looking they saw what appeared to be a very hungry leopard. At that sight, one of them bent down and started tightening his shoe laces.
His friend said ''Hey are you crazy!!!! You can't outrun a leopard.''
His friend replied, '' Mate, i don't have to,I just have to outrun you!!!!''

Leopard joke, Which side of a leopard has more spots?