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Leonardo Jokes

77 leonardo jokes and hilarious leonardo puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leonardo that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Get ready to have a laugh with these hilarious Leonardo DiCaprio jokes! From his age and rumored girlfriends to movie roles and Oscar nominations, Michelangelo and Leonardo make the perfect comedy duo. Read on for some laugh-out-loud fun!

Funniest Leonardo Short Jokes

Short leonardo jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leonardo humour may include short leonardo dicaprio oscar jokes also.

  1. The movie titanic turns 25 later this year. In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.
  2. Bartender: this scotch is my favorite, it's aged twenty fi---- Leonardo DiCaprio: [spits it out]
  3. What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street? Sesame Street has an Oscar.
  4. What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar
  5. When I'm feeling down. I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio
  6. What does Leonardo DiCaprio call a woman 10 years younger than him? Mother-in-law material.
  7. Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio like jokes about the movie "Titanic"? They're all more than 25 years old.
  8. Three guys making a movie Christopher Nolan: I'll produce
    Leonardo Dicaprio: I'll act
    Matthew McConaughey: I'll write I'll write I'll write
  9. When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.
  10. I already used my wishes Me: please just one more wish
    Genie: no, I said 3
    Me: please
    Genie: no
    Me: [holding my new Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello action figures] Genie please

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Leonardo One Liners

Which leonardo one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leonardo? I can suggest the ones about leonardo dicaprio and wins.

  1. What is Leonardo decaprio's favorite movie? constanTEEN
  2. What do all these Leonardo DiCaprio jokes have in common? They're all so childish..
  3. Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character? Oscar
    im so sorry
  4. Leonardo DiCaprio: "Hold my beer." Leo's girlfriend: "But I'll get arrested."
  5. Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar
  6. What's 18 inches long and never gets used? Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.
  7. What do you call a crab that like to paint? Leonardo Da Pinci
  8. What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? No Oscar!
  9. Oscar If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now.
  10. Why does Leonardo DiCaprio like Covid? 19 and easy to spread
  11. What's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite kind of wine? Aged.
  12. What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab? Leonardo da Pinci
  13. What does Leonardo DiCaprio call a 19 year old? A long term relationship.
  14. Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio have a PlayStation 2? It's too old for him.
  15. What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio and his fiance on their wedding day? Bride and Groomer

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

Here is a list of funny leonardo dicaprio jokes and even better leonardo dicaprio puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • It makes sense that Leonardo DiCaprio cares so much about climate change… He just wants a world his future girlfriends can turn 18 in.
  • What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.
  • A Swedish bartender is found to be the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio As it turns out, they have the same amount of Oscars, too.
  • I want to be like Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception. He has a dream job.
  • What's it called when you cut off Leonardo DiCaprio's head DiCapritation
  • What did Leonardo DiCaprio name his son? Leonardo DiCapriSun
  • There should be a fictional biopic about Leonardo DiCaprio's fight for his oscar. But I guess whoever plays him will win an Oscar for it.
  • What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common? They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career. *Interception*
  • What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and the Jews? Leonardo DiCaprio didn't quit smoking.

Leonardo Dicaprio Oscar Jokes

Here is a list of funny leonardo dicaprio oscar jokes and even better leonardo dicaprio oscar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • I keep trying to explain a joke to Leonardo DiCaprio about the Oscars... but he never get it.
  • First Thing Leonardo DiCaprio Did When He Got Home From Oscars Was... Check the spinning top.
  • Leonardo Dicaprio must be sad. He only has one Oscar instead of many.
  • Oscars night, Leonardo DiCaprio walks to the stage... Steve Harvey follows suit...
  • What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio? Now, both have an oscar.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar! oh wait.
  • ELI5: Why hasn't Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar yet?
  • Sometimes i feel like girls are like oscars And im leonardo dicaprio :(
  • My girlfriend... .. is like Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar.
Leonardo joke, My girlfriend...

Leonardo Da Jokes

Here is a list of funny leonardo da jokes and even better leonardo da puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What was the name of the painter crab? Leonardo Da Pinchy
  • Leonardo da Vinci's painting The Last Supper depicts all apostles and Jesus sitting on one side of the table. There must have been a show and karaoke.
  • What do you call a artist with a rash? Leonardo Da Itchy
Leonardo joke, What do you call a artist with a rash?

Uproarious Leonardo Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about leonardo you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean freeman jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leonardo pranks.

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."
I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."
I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.
I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey all decide to make a movie

Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"
Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"
Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....
He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...
He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...
So I took the laptop and left...
Left... ?? Then what ??
Nothing...
30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....
So I asked him:
Will you buy it ??

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.
Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.
Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.
Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

George Clooney Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a new film.

George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write

My wife told me this one...

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.
DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then
McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,
Well what does that leave you with?
Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, I'll direct.
DiCaprio says, I'll act.
McConaughey says, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

One day, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg and Matthew McConaughey get together and decide to make a movie.

DiCaprio says "I'll act."
Spielberg says "I'll direct."
McConaughey says "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey

\-get together to make a new movie.
Clooney says I will direct!
DiCaprio says I will act!
McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write...

What's the difference between Leonardo di Caprio and a calendar

Leo's dates only go up to 25

Leonardo joke, What's the difference between Leonardo di Caprio and a calendar

jokes about leonardo