The Best 43 Leonardo Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Leonardo jokes. There are some leonardo rembrandt jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these leonardo leonardo da vinci puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Leonardo Jokes and Puns

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."

Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."

And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio...

but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.

Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

Oscar

im so sorry

Leonardo joke, Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character?

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

What's 18 inches long and never gets used?

Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.


What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street?

Sesame Street has an Oscar.

A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Then the same fella followed me home from the pub and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Things then got out of hand when he tapped on my window at 11.30 that night and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

I thought, "That's it, I'm going to the Police."

I told the officer I was being stalked and he asked if I could tell him anything about the man.

I said, "Yes, he reminds me of Leonardo Di Caprio."

Leonardo joke, A bloke bumped in to me on the tube the other day and said, "Remember Leonardo Di Caprio."

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career.

*Interception*

Leo's First Oscar

Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"

Doctor: "It's a bo-"

Leo: "NO! NO! LIKE WE REHEARSED!"

*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*

Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.

Leonardo DiCaprio slept in animal carcass in the name of acting...

That's nothing. I slept with a carcass for 3 years before my divorce.

A Swedish bartender is found to be the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio

As it turns out, they have the same amount of Oscars, too.

You can explore leonardo michelangelo reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean leonardo raphael dad jokes. There are also leonardo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street?

It was his only chance to see an Oscar

What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio?

A South African prison has an Oscar

The Revenant: How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio?

Leonardo DiCabrio

What's pretty and expensive but has no use?

Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.

What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

Leonardo joke, What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Did you hear about the man who cut his own head off after the Academy Awards?

He was Leonardo DiCapitated.

What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house?

The DaVinci Abode

When I'm feeling down.

I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio


Oscar

If you're Leonardo, you must have got it by now.

What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

I used to Remember Leonardo DiCaprio When I was feeling down.

Unfortunately I still remember him.

More girls chase after me everyday than Leonardo, Channing Tatum and Ronaldo combined

-Bus driver

There should be a fictional biopic about Leonardo DiCaprio's fight for his oscar.

But I guess whoever plays him will win an Oscar for it.

What's it called when you cut off Leonardo DiCaprio's head

DiCapritation

I want to be like Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception.

He has a dream job.

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

What do you call a 15th century Renaissance painter who is also a crab?

Leonardo da Pinci

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:

Clooney: I'll direct.

DiCaprio: I'll act.

McConaughey: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Hollywood Halloween

Bruce Willis and Sylvester Stallone were discussing their next Halloween costumes. They wanted to get away from the typical scary characters and do something different.

Bruce: 'how about historical figures? I'll go as Freud.'

Sly: 'ok, sounds good. I'll go as Leonardo Da Vinci.'

Arnold Schwarzenegger overhears their discussion, walks over and replies 'I'll be Bach.'

Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey all decide to make a movie

Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"

Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"

Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

What did Leonardo DiCaprio name his son?

Leonardo DiCapriSun

How was your job interview yesterday?

Well, I entered the office, found a man sitting on a large black leather chair with feet resting foron the table....

He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to take it and go outside, then come back and try to sell him the laptop...

He thought himself as actor Leonardo Di Caprio of "The wolf of wall street" movie...

So I took the laptop and left...

Left... ?? Then what ??

Nothing...

30 minutes later he called me up, begging me to return his laptop to him coz all his work and important documents were in it.....

So I asked him:

Will you buy it ??

I already used my wishes

Me: please just one more wish

Genie: no, I said 3

Me: please

Genie: no

Me: [holding my new Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello action figures] Genie please

I had this friend named Leonardo. We called him Lee. Anyway, he didn't have alot of money. In fact, he was basically broke...

So one day he stole some bread because he was starving and couldn't buy food. He was caught and sentenced to death. It's really not that funny, but this joke was poor Lee executed.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.

Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.

Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.

Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.

Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

George Clooney Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a new film.

George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write

My wife told me this one...

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor

Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then

McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,

Well what does that leave you with?

Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.

I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, I'll direct.

DiCaprio says, I'll act.

McConaughey says, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

This is Captain Leonardo Ricardo speaking,

On behalf of my crew and I, I'd like to welcome you on board flight 633 from New York to Abu Dhabi. We are on the air above 38,000 feet across Atlantic Ocean.

If you you look outside the window, you will see that the wing has fallen off and the engine is on fire. If you look down the window, you will see a little yellow boat on the ocean. Inside the boat are 3 people waving at you, that's me, the Co-pilot and your Air hostess.

This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!

What do you call a crab that like to paint?

Leonardo Da Pinci

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the leonardo leonardo dicaprio jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working leonardo leonardo dicaprio oscar piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes