Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

83 leonardo dicaprio jokes and hilarious leonardo dicaprio puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leonardo dicaprio that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Leonardo Dicaprio Short Jokes

Short leonardo dicaprio jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leonardo dicaprio humour may include short george clooney jokes also.

  1. The movie titanic turns 25 later this year. In related news, Leonardo DiCaprio said he is no longer interested in seeing it.
  2. Bartender: this scotch is my favorite, it's aged twenty fi---- Leonardo DiCaprio: [spits it out]
  3. What's the difference between Leonardo Dicaprio and Sesame Street? Sesame Street has an Oscar.
  4. What's the difference between a South African prison and Leonardo Dicaprio? A South African prison has an Oscar
  5. When I'm feeling down. I just remind myself that I've won just as many Oscars as Leonardo Dicaprio
  6. What does Leonardo DiCaprio call a woman 10 years younger than him? Mother-in-law material.
  7. Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio like jokes about the movie "Titanic"? They're all more than 25 years old.
  8. Three guys making a movie Christopher Nolan: I'll produce
    Leonardo Dicaprio: I'll act
    Matthew McConaughey: I'll write I'll write I'll write
  9. When I first meet someone I always want to talk about that movie with Kate Winslet and Leonardo DiCaprio... but the Titanic is a terrible ice breaker.
  10. It makes sense that Leonardo DiCaprio cares so much about climate change… He just wants a world his future girlfriends can turn 18 in.

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Leonardo Dicaprio One Liners

Which leonardo dicaprio one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leonardo dicaprio? I can suggest the ones about romeo and heath ledger.

  1. What do all these Leonardo DiCaprio jokes have in common? They're all so childish..
  2. Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character? Oscar
    im so sorry
  3. Leonardo DiCaprio: "Hold my beer." Leo's girlfriend: "But I'll get arrested."
  4. Why did Leonardo DiCaprio visit Sesame Street? It was his only chance to see an Oscar
  5. What's 18 inches long and never gets used? Leonardo DiCaprio's acceptance speech.
  6. What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common? No Oscar!
  7. Why does Leonardo DiCaprio like Covid? 19 and easy to spread
  8. What's Leonardo DiCaprio's least favorite kind of wine? Aged.
  9. What does Leonardo DiCaprio call a 19 year old? A long term relationship.
  10. Why doesn't Leonardo DiCaprio have a PlayStation 2? It's too old for him.
  11. What do you call Leonardo DiCaprio and his fiance on their wedding day? Bride and Groomer
  12. What's pretty and expensive but has no use? Leonardo DiCaprio's Oscar shelf.
  13. I want to be like Leonardo DiCaprio from Inception. He has a dream job.
  14. What's it called when you cut off Leonardo DiCaprio's head DiCapritation
  15. What did Leonardo DiCaprio name his son? Leonardo DiCapriSun

Leonardo Dicaprio Oscar Jokes

Here is a list of funny leonardo dicaprio oscar jokes and even better leonardo dicaprio oscar puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Swedish bartender is found to be the spitting image of Leonardo DiCaprio As it turns out, they have the same amount of Oscars, too.
  • There should be a fictional biopic about Leonardo DiCaprio's fight for his oscar. But I guess whoever plays him will win an Oscar for it.
  • I keep trying to explain a joke to Leonardo DiCaprio about the Oscars... but he never get it.
  • First Thing Leonardo DiCaprio Did When He Got Home From Oscars Was... Check the spinning top.
  • Leonardo Dicaprio must be sad. He only has one Oscar instead of many.
  • Oscars night, Leonardo DiCaprio walks to the stage... Steve Harvey follows suit...
  • What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio? Now, both have an oscar.
  • Leonardo DiCaprio winning an Oscar! oh wait.
  • ELI5: Why hasn't Leonardo DiCaprio won an Oscar yet?
  • Sometimes i feel like girls are like oscars And im leonardo dicaprio :(

Giggle-Inducing Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about leonardo dicaprio you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean angelina jolie jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leonardo dicaprio pranks.

Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."

Leonardo DiCaprio only starred in Inception because if he didn't, Chuck Norris will enter his dream and roundhouse kick him into limbo.

George Clooney, Leonardo Dicaprio and Matthew Mcconaughey got together to make a movie...

George Clooney said, "I'll direct."
Dicaprio said, "I'll produce."
And Matthew McConaughey said, "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

Leonardo DiCaprio, Ellen Page set to star in a sci-fi adaptation of Colin Kaepernick's career.


Leo's First Oscar

Leonardo DiCaprio in the delivery room.
Leo: "What is it doc?!"
Doctor: "It's a bo-"
*Doctor sighs, handing the baby boy to Leo*
Doctor: "And the "Oscar" goes to Leonardo DiCaprio for the role of Father in Conception.

Leonardo DiCaprio slept in animal carcass in the name of acting...

That's nothing. I slept with a carcass for 3 years before my divorce.

The Revenant: How do you call a scalped Leonardo DiCaprio?

Leonardo DiCabrio

What do Leonardo DiCaprio & anyone who buys a Powerball ticket have in common?

Their odds of winning are the same

(Spoiler) TIL in The Revnant

Leonardo DiCaprio's sleep number is one dead Indian son.

The Irishman was amazing.

Long, but amazing. It wasn’t the only epic movie. Once Upon a Time in Hollywood, nearly three hours long. Leonardo DiCaprio attended the premiere, and by the end, his date was too old for him. Even Prince Andrew’s like, “Come on, Leo, mate. You’re nearly 50, son.”

What do Leonardo Dicaprio Babe Ruth have in common?

They both won when neither of them were competing against black people!

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

I used to Remember Leonardo DiCaprio When I was feeling down.

Unfortunately I still remember him.

What's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite dessert?

Bear claaaaaarrrrrwwwwwwss!!!

What did the helicopter propeller say to Leonardo DiCaprio?

"I'm not a real big fan."

Some actors were planning to make a movie on famous composers

Arnold Schwarzenegger, Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Hanks were all making a movie about famous composers. Leo said, "I'd like to play Beethoven." Tom said, "I'd like to play Mozart." Arnie said "I'll be Bach"

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Mathew McConaughey are in a coffee shop to discuss a new movie:

Clooney: I'll direct.
DiCaprio: I'll act.
McConaughey: I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Tom Hanks, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey all decide to make a movie

Tom hanks says "I'll produce it"
Leonardo DiCaprio says "I'll direct it"
Matthew McConaughey says "I'll write I'll write I'll write"

How did your interview go yesterday?

\- Well, I entered the office and found the interviewer sitting on a large black leather chair. He pointed towards his laptop, asked me to go outside with it and then come back and try to sell it. He thought himself as Leonardo DiCaprio from the Wolf of Wall Street.
\- So what did you do?
\- Well, obviously I obliged. I took the laptop and left the room.
\- Then what?
\- Nothing. 30 minutes later he called me up. Begging me to return it cause all his important documents were in it. So I asked him: will you buy it?

What's the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and the Jews?

Leonardo DiCaprio didn't quit smoking.

A joke from work

Four famous actors get together and decide to dress up as famous artists for Halloween.
Leonardo DiCaprio says he'll go as Da Vinci since they have the same first name.
Tom Cruise says he'll go as Van Gogh so they have two painters.
Bill Murray says he'll go as Beethoven since he likes his music.
Arnold Schwarzenegger just looks at them and says "I'll be Bach."

George Clooney Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a new film.

George Clooney says he's gonna direct Leonardo DiCaprio says he's gonna be the producer and Matthew McConaughey says I'll write I'll writte I'll write

My wife told me this one...

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.
DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director then
McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

Matthew McConaughey, Leonardo DiCaprio and Brad Pitt decide to make a movie together.

Of course, they are going to need roles for each other, but none of them can decide what they want to do. They argue over this for hours, until Leonardo finally decides he wants to direct, since he is the best with cameras. Eventually, Brad Pitt decides he wants to produce, since he's the one with the most money. Now there's only one left; McConaughey. DiCaprio turns to him and says,
Well what does that leave you with?
Matthew thinks about this for a while, until he finally turns to the two of them.
I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

Leonardo DiCaprio, George Clooney and Matthew McConaughey are sitting around discussing a movie they want to make.

DiCaprio says I'll be the lead actor
Clooney says I guess I'll be the director McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio, and Matthew McConaughey get together to make a movie.

Clooney says, I'll direct.
DiCaprio says, I'll act.
McConaughey says, I'll write, I'll write, I'll write.

One day, Leonardo DiCaprio, Steven Spielberg and Matthew McConaughey get together and decide to make a movie.

DiCaprio says "I'll act."
Spielberg says "I'll direct."
McConaughey says "I'll write, I'll write, I'll write."

George Clooney, Leonardo DiCaprio and Matthew McConaughey

\-get together to make a new movie.
Clooney says I will direct!
DiCaprio says I will act!
McConaughey says I'll write, I'll write, I'll write...

jokes about leonardo dicaprio