The Best 25 Lenses Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Lenses jokes. There are some lenses cameras jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lenses specs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Lenses Jokes and Puns
I told a girl, "you look great without glasses"
She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do."
The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses."
Girl: "I don't wear glasses."
Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do."
My daughter said she needed adult supervision
I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses
A police officer stops a driver...
A police officer stops a driver to give him a ticket. He looks at the guy's driver license and says, "This says here that you need to wear corrective lenses when you drive."
The guy replies, "I have contacts".
The cops says, "I dont care who you know you still need corrective lenses"
A man gets pulled over by a cop...
And he takes the man's driver's license. He reads it and looks back at the driver.
"It says here that you need corrective lenses", the cop said. "Where are your glasses?"
The man replies, "But officer, I have contacts."
The cop glares at him. "I don't care who you know."
Last night I slept with my contact lenses on.
My dreams have never been clearer.
I ordered contact lenses last week and only received an empty box
Apparently it was a contactless delivery
I got pulled over by a state trooper the other day.
Trooper: Your license states that you're required to wear corrective lenses. Where are your glasses?
Me: It's ok. I've got contacts.
Trooper: Listen pal, I don't care who you know!
The Job Interview
Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.
He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.
Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.
Well done!
Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?
Yes, well done!
Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?
How'd you know that?
Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.
What's unnatural in God's eyes?
Contact lenses.
I ordered some disposable lenses and got an empty box.
They said I must have selected Contactless delivery.
You can explore lenses dilate reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lenses corrective dad jokes. There are also lenses puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where do bad lenses get sent to?
To prism.
(Credit to my wife, she works in optometry)
The last time I went through a TSA checkpoint at an airport I was wearing my contact lenses.
The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.
Now I understand the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing.
At The Nikon Headquarters
We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses
"A focus group?"
DAMMIT JOHNSON THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES
As my mother got older, her vision got worse so her optometrist prescribed her progressive lenses...
Now she can't see race.
Broke my good sunglasses...
But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were.
Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses.
Fortunately, my wife had the solution.
A man goes to pay for his shopping...
...and places down an empty box of disposable lenses.
The cashier looks at him and says "you can't possibly expect me to accept that as payment?"
The man points at a sign by the till, "it says here you accept contactless".
I have used contact lenses my whole life...
I can apply them with my eyes closed.
My wife got mad at me just because I accidentally hoovered up her contact lenses.
To be fair, she was wearing them at the time.
Homosexuality or Abortion isn't unnatural in the eyes of God, but I know what would be.
Contact lenses
The only problem I have with transition lenses is...
I can't wear my sunglasses at night.
I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed...
...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope
I decided to stop wearing my contact lenses...
I look better without them.
Did you hear about the abstinent lenses?
They never came in contact.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lenses precaution jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lenses optometrist piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.