Lenses Jokes
31 lenses jokes and hilarious lenses puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lenses that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
See how many of these hilarious jokes about contact lenses, transition lenses, photographers, sunglasses, and dilating you can relate to. What jokes have you collected? How can you use them to make others laugh? Get ready to giggle along with these lighthearted jokes.
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Funniest Lenses Short Jokes
Short lenses jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lenses humour may include short sunglasses jokes also.
- I told a girl, "you look great without glasses" She said, "but I don't wear glasses."
I replied, while polishing my lenses, "yeah, but I do." - The other day I told a girl, "You look great without glasses." Girl: "I don't wear glasses."
Me, while polishing my lenses: "No, but I do." - My daughter said she needed adult supervision I told her she'd have to find someone else because I wear corrective lenses
- I ordered contact lenses last week and only received an empty box Apparently it was a contactless delivery
- Eye joke I lost my contact lense, but managed to get back home without bumping into anyone.
It was a contactless journey - As my mother got older, her vision got worse so her optometrist prescribed her progressive lenses... Now she can't see race.
- Broke my good sunglasses... But instead of buying new ones, I'm just gonna put Trump pictures where the lenses used to be. He seems to be far more polarizing than my Costas ever were.
- Was having a problem with one of my contact lenses. Fortunately, my wife had the solution.
- My wife got mad at me just because I accidentally hoovered up her contact lenses. To be fair, she was wearing them at the time.
- I shot two camera lenses out of two cannons into each other at high speed... ...I wanted to make a kaleidoscope
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Lenses One Liners
Which lenses one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lenses? I can suggest the ones about eye glass and binoculars.
- Last night I slept with my contact lenses on. My dreams have never been clearer.
- What's unnatural in God's eyes? Contact lenses.
- I have used contact lenses my whole life... I can apply them with my eyes closed.
- The only problem I have with transition lenses is... I can't wear my sunglasses at night.
- I decided to stop wearing my contact lenses... I look better without them.
- Why does the equipment look bigger on men with beer bellies? Gravitational lensing!
- Did you hear about the abstinent lenses? They never came in contact.
- Why do lenses love American Football? It's a contact sport!
- I now self identify as a Cornea As such I'm going to start wearing transition lenses.
Amusing & Witty Lenses Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about lenses you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean wearing glasses jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lenses pranks.
A police officer stops a driver...
A police officer stops a driver to give him a ticket. He looks at the guy's driver license and says, "This says here that you need to wear corrective lenses when you drive."
The guy replies, "I have contacts".
The cops says, "I dont care who you know you still need corrective lenses"
I got pulled over by a state trooper the other day.
Trooper: Your license states that you're required to wear corrective lenses. Where are your glasses?
Me: It's ok. I've got contacts.
Trooper: Listen pal, I don't care who you know!
The Job Interview
Three equally qualified applicants apply for a job. The interviewer decides to test their powers of observation.
He asks all three of them the same question. Look at me closely and tell me what you notice.
Applicant 1: If you don't mind me saying, one of your ears is higher than the other.
Well done!
Applicant 2: Are your ears uneven?
Yes, well done!
Applicant 3: Are you wearing contact lenses?
How'd you know that?
Well, you'd never wear glasses with ears like that.
The last time I went through a TSA checkpoint at an airport I was wearing my contact lenses.
The TSA guy looked at my driver's license, looked at me, and looked at his my driver's license again. He started to turn to get his supervisor. I said "if you want, I'll put my glasses on, I have them with me." He looked bewildered, but he cleared me through all by himself.
Now I understand the whole Superman / Clark Kent thing.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
At The Nikon Headquarters
We need random people in a room to test and sample our new lenses
"A focus group?"
d**... JOHNSON THIS IS NO TIME FOR JOKES
A man goes to pay for his shopping...
...and places down an empty box of disposable lenses.
The cashier looks at him and says "you can't possibly expect me to accept that as payment?"
The man points at a sign by the till, "it says here you accept contactless".
