Following is our collection of funniest Lenin jokes. There are some lenin pact jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lenin motherland puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
- You just multiply Lenin by Lenin
A communist party
The first was Stalin the cops, the second was Putin the money in the bag, and the third was Lenin a hand to the second.
When it came to a halt,the engineer said,"Our engine has failed,What shall i do?"."Let the invincible spirit of the people pulls us on!" Lenin declared."Shoot the engineer!" offered Stalin.And Gorbachev suggested, "Close the shades and we can pretend we're moving forward."
The train breaks down. Lenin tries to rally the workers to work together and get the train running again. When that fails, Stalin lines up all the workers and shoots them. When that doesn't help, Khrushchev tries to reform the workers back to life. When that also fails, Brezhnev pulls down all the curtains in the rail car and says "let's just pretend the train is moving."
After sitting in the dark for a while, Gorbachev breaks the silence and says "Hey, any of you guys wanna pick up some McDonalds?"
Behind the Iron Curtain!
My friend was peer-reviewing my essay on the Russian Revolution in class today, when he pointed out that I had written lenin instead of Lenin. I looked him dead in the eye and said, "You never capitalize lenin."
Communists have no class...
A Bolshevik Evolution
Lenin.
Stop Stalin! Just Putin the effort and start Lenin it happen!
You can explore lenin leonid reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lenin yeltsin dad jokes. There are also lenin puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Lenin.
...Full Marx
Stalin tells the undead Lenin: "See, comrade Lenin, you doubted that the Soviet people will follow me, but in fact they do!"
To which Lenin replies: "Increase the food rations, or else the Soviet people will follow me".
"What is your favorite historic figure and why Lenin?"
The Russian people
I will hit you so hard that it will leave a Marx.
I wasn't Lenin anything, my grades were Stalin, and my Marx were terrible!
Yeah! He had a 4-stroke!
They keep Lenin to the left, and Stalin.
Ivan practicing.
And if you need to borrow money I'll Lenin to you.
Yeah! He had a four-stroke!
John Lenin
The salesman said it was the krem de la kremlin, but every time it's putin gear, it keeps stalin. My wife said, "Crimea river, I'm not lenin you my car!"
By Vladimir Lenin
In soviet union, we do not have two person bed, we have the three person bed.
Why?
Because comrade lenin is always with you!
A: Knock Knock!
B: who's there?
A: a communist
B: a communist who?
A: stop Stalin, and open the door!
*opens the door*
A: thanks for Lenin me in!
i think i made this up, but if somebody already made this up, oh well then!
... we were running late but he wasn't russian enough, so I told him there's no time for stalin, but he was just lenin it be.
A Soviet filmmaker makes a film called Lenin in Warsaw. Everybody shows up for the premiere. The film opensβon Lenin's wife, Krupskaya, naked, having mad sex with another man. And then another. And another. And so on. The film continues in the same vein for ninety minutes.
Finally, the lights come up and the director takes questions from the audience.
First question: Very interesting movie, comrade, butβwhere was Lenin?
The director answers: In Warsaw.
John Lenin
Stalin calmly smiled at him: Don't worry, those who won't follow me, I'll make them follow you
An artist is commissioned to create a painting celebrating SovietβPolish friendship, to be called "Lenin in Poland." When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Nadezhda Krupskaya (Lenin's wife) naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. One guest asks, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."
The Fault in Our Tsars
John Lenin.
Lenin
John Lenin
Seize fire !
Quit Stalin and start Lenin me a hand
Lenin.
I always wanted to look like one of the band.
So for my birthday my grandma gave me a haircut.
Now I look like Lenin.
All the red flags were there.
Lenin
He had full Marx
Full Marx
There were red flags everywhere.
Lenin.
He watched Shooting Tzars
Trotsky asked, Have you read Marx?
Lenin replied, I do: I must replace these chairs.
He's none other than John Lenin.
When the painting is unveiled at the Kremlin, there is a gasp from the invited guests; the painting depicts Lenin's wife naked in bed with Leon Trotsky. A voice calls out, "But this is a travesty! Where is Lenin?" To which the painter replies, "Lenin is in Poland."
We gotta Putin a good leader
Quit Stalin and get Lenin me a hand right Mao!
Why was Putin late for the party he was PUTIN on some makeup!
Why was Stalin late for the party he was STALIN for time!
Why was Lenin late for the party he was waiting for his LENIN to dry!
Why was Trotsky late for the party he got into a car crash.
...and the father starts explaining:
"Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn't his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn't a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn't in october, it was in november..."
"Jesus, dad, what a mess!" proclaims the son.
"Son, now you understand communism!"
I should've known, there were red flags everywhere.
When you're Russian for food, there's no time for Stalin.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lenin communism jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working lenin nikita piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.