Lending Money Jokes

16 lending money jokes and hilarious lending money puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lending money that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Lending Money Short Jokes

Short lending money jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lending money humour may include short borrowing money jokes also.

  1. Why shouldn't you lend a anthropologist money? They consider a million years ago to be Recent.
  2. I just want to thank my bank for lending me the money for my new house. I don't know how I could ever repay you.
  3. Lending Money to friend........ Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory. :-p
  4. Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money.
    I shall be everlastingly in your debt.
    Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!

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Lending Money One Liners

Which lending money one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lending money? I can suggest the ones about loans and borrow money.

  1. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.
  2. What did the poor composer say to his friend? I am baroque, can you lend me some money?
  3. What is the best way to lose money? A: Lend it to Greece.
  4. Why shouldn't you ever lend money to a midget? They always come up short.

Lending Money Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about lending money you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean spending money jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lending money pranks.

My herbal addiction is getting out of control. Rosemary, Sage, anything to get that herbal hit. When the money ran out I raided the garden, that's cleared out now. Some friends have been lending me some of theirs, but it's not enough to keep me going.

I'm just living on borrowed thyme.

AN old man asks to borrow his son's newspaper

The son points out that this is the 21st century, and nobody wastes money on newspapers anymore. He lends his dad his iPad instead.
That spider never knew what hit him.

An old couple is laying in bed when the old lady remembers that she needs some money for groceries...

She whispers into the old man's ear: "Can you lend me $100? ".
The man answers: "Sorry dear but I can't hear you. You know this ear of mine is deaf, try the other ear".
The old lady scoots and whispers into his other ear: "Can you lend me $200?".
The old man is astonished and replies: "Can you whisper into my $100 ear again?"

A man had just won big on lottery. Asked about what he'd do with the money, his immediate answer was to fix everything broken on his 2007 chevrolet Malibu ...

"What about the rest of the money?" He was asked again.
"Well, I hope the bank can lend it to me."

The Answering Machine

Hi, this is Eric.
If you are the phone company, I already sent the money.
If you are my parents, please send money.
If you are a telemarketer, I have no money.
If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money.
If you are my friends, you owe me money.
If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.