The Best 47 Lemonade Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Lemonade jokes. There are some lemonade beverage jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these lemonade lemonaids puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Lemonade Jokes and Puns

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand

Quack

Dating in 1962

It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.

"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"

"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.

"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.

"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."

"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.

"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.

"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"

"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.

"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"

"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.

A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.

"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.

Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.

"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The damned dance is called the Twist!

Lemonade Stand

At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.

Lemonade joke, Lemonade Stand

What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit?

Lemonade.

Christmas cracker joke

A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.


A bear walks into a bar..

A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman for "One Corona, two margaritas and.........a lemonade". The barman replies "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear looks down and says "That's the way I am".

Sick Lemon and Sick Bird

What do you give a sick bird?

Tweetment

What do you give a sick lemon?

Lemonade

Lemonade joke, Sick Lemon and Sick Bird

Lemonade

A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"

"This one has the antidote."

Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade?

He's an acidic Jew....

Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much?

Because, it's acidic juice.

I passed a group of Girl Scouts this morning, with a stall that read..

.."Home-Made Lemonade: £15.00, Oral Sex: £5.00"

"Here's twenty pounds, girls, but I think you've got your prices mixed up," I chuckled.

"Once you've finished going down on me, you'll be gagging for that lemonade," said the sweaty fat one.

You can explore lemonade lemon reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean lemonade soda dad jokes. There are also lemonade puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Why did Hitler hate lemonade?

Because it is an acidic juice.

What does Batman have in his lemonade?

Just ice.

A corpse walks into a bar...

And asks the bartender for a lemonade.

"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"

Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.

If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons...

You might have sex daily!

Why does hitler not like jewish lemonade ?

Its to hasidic

Lemonade joke, Why does hitler not like jewish lemonade ?

What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade?

acidic juice

Who makes the lemonade at a hospital?

A Fizzy-o-Therapist.

If you see someone doing a crossword puzzle

Whisper in their ear, 7 up is lemonade.


A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"

The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"

[DEATH ROW]

WARDEN: Last meal?

CON: Just a glass of lemonade please

*Drinks lemonade/Burps*

WARDEN: Pardon

[CON WALKS FREE]

When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second.

The refill contained the antidote.

When life hands you lemons.....Make lemonade

Then, find someone for whom life has handed them Vodka....

What does Trump enjoy on hot day after golfing?

A so-called lemonade, a so-called air conditioner, and his so-hot daughter.

So, a corpse walks into a bar...

"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.

The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."

What's the name for the emergency service for lemons?

Lemonade

If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called?

Arnold Palmer

The next person

The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same cup is gonna get a punch.

When a lemon calls for help, what does it want?

Lemonade!

Why don't Orthodox Jews drink lemonade?

Its a little too Hasidic for them.

Communist Lemonade

A taste worth standing in line for.

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations

F=ma

What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade?

A FIZZicist

What do you call a medical treatment based on lemons?

Lemonade.

What do you call a helpful lemon?

Lemonade

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand...

Now the tune's stuck in your head... all day.

A boy was at a lemonade stand.

He was deciding between a glass or a full pitcher. He told the seller he was really thirsty, to which they replied, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer".

I gave this lady a sip of my lemonade last night and she fell in love with me.

I schwepped her off her feet. :)

I gave my crush a glass of lemonade yesterday, and she seemed to instantly fall in love with me.

I think I schwepped her right off her feet.

Gave a woman a drink of my lemonade in the bar last night and she completely fell in love with me.

I schwepped her off her feet.

Crosswords

Next time you see someone doing a crossword lean over them and say. "You know 7 up is lemonade"

My mom got really mad when I tried to get my grandpa to try some of my lemonade

At least I won't have to go to any more funerals.

What do you get when you cross a mermaid with a lemon?

Lemonade

My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine

So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she Sangria then ever.

What do lemons call any first aid kits?

Lemonade kits.

A man walks into a restaurant...

A man walks into a restaurant with a lizard on his shoulder. He sits down and when the waiter comes he asks for a lemonade and a water for Tiny here. The waiter goes back and evenly brings him the drinks, sets them on the table, then asks why do you call him 'Tiny'. The guy says 'Because he's my newt'.

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the lemonade concentrate jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working lemonade juice piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes