Lemonade Jokes
77 lemonade jokes and hilarious lemonade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lemonade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These Lemonade Jokes will make your day brighter. If you've ever gone to a lemonade stand, you know the range of beverages available (from good old-fashioned pink lemonade to vodka-laced drinks). Or, if you've ever had a run-in with a Hasidic Jew, you know that he's likely to provide you with a tall glass of the citrusy drink. Regardless of your experience, these lemonade jokes deliver the full gamut of hilarity associated with the beverage.
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Funniest Lemonade Short Jokes
Short lemonade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lemonade humour may include short lemon juice jokes also.
- When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote.
- Sick Lemon and Sick Bird What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemonade - A 10 year old girl opens a lemonade stand and sells at such low prices her competition can't keep up, and is forced to close down. Maybe it would have helped if there were a punch line..
- My mate loves red wine. She hates it when people mess with it.... I thought I know I'll add some fruit and Lemonade....
But now she's sangria than ever... - Lemonade Stand At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote.
- The next person The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same cup is gonna get a punch.
- A woman agreed to go out with me because I gave her a bottle of lemonade That's right, I Schwepped her off her feet
- I've always wondered why lemonade is made from artificial flavours.... .....and furniture polish is made from real lemons ?
- I'm doing a crossword, and I'm stuck on seven down. It's seven letters long and the clue is Lemonade drink, not Sprite . Oh no wait sorry that's not seven down, that's Seven Up.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations F=ma
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Lemonade One Liners
Which lemonade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lemonade? I can suggest the ones about lemon lime and lemon and lime.
- What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit? Lemonade.
- Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much? Because, it's acidic juice.
- Did you head about the rabbi who only drank lemonade? He's an acidic Jew....
- Why don't Orthodox Jews drink lemonade? Its a little too Hasidic for them.
- What does Batman have in his lemonade? Just ice.
- A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand Quack
- What's the name for the emergency service for lemons? Lemonade
- What do you call a helpful lemon? Lemonade
- Why is Lemonade bad? Because it's Not-tea by nature.
- What do you call a medical treatment based on lemons? Lemonade.
- What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade? A FIZZicist
- Communist Lemonade A taste worth standing in line for.
- What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade? acidic juice
- Where did the baseball keep its lemonade? In the pitcher!
- If you see someone doing a crossword puzzle Whisper in their ear, 7 up is lemonade.
Lemonade Stand Jokes
Here is a list of funny lemonade stand jokes and even better lemonade stand puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A boy was at a lemonade stand. He was deciding between a glass or a full pitcher. He told the seller he was really thirsty, to which they replied, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer".
- A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand... Now the tune's stuck in your head... all day.
- Why don't lemonade stands charge a full dollar for drinks? It doesn't make any cents.
- Why did h**... never buy lemonade from a lemonade stand? He hated cheap juice.
Good Lemonade Jokes
Here is a list of funny good lemonade jokes and even better good lemonade puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q:How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A:He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay! - Why is iced tea selling lemonade good at golf? It makes him Arnold Palmer.
Pink Lemonade Jokes
Here is a list of funny pink lemonade jokes and even better pink lemonade puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know what makes pink lemonade pink? Strawberries.
Cheerful Lemonade Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about lemonade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iced tea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lemonade pranks.
Dating in 1962
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!
Christmas c**... joke
A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.
A bear walks into a bar..
A bear walks into a bar and asks the barman for "One Corona, two margaritas and.........a lemonade". The barman replies "Sure, but why the big pause?". The bear looks down and says "That's the way I am".
Lemonade
A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"
"This one has the antidote."
Someone gave me lemonhead
I caught lemonades
I passed a group of Girl Scouts this morning, with a stall that read..
.."Home-Made Lemonade: £15.00, o**... s**...: £5.00"
"Here's twenty pounds, girls, but I think you've got your prices mixed up," I chuckled.
"Once you've finished going down on me, you'll be gagging for that lemonade," said the sweaty fat one.
Why did h**... hate lemonade?
Because it is an acidic juice.
A corpse walks into a bar...
And asks the bartender for a lemonade.
"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"
Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.
If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons...
You might have s**... daily!
the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness go to lunch.
So, the heads of Coors, Budweiser and Guinness are all sitting in a restaurant. When the waitress comes over she takes their drinks order first
- 'Ill have a silver bullet' says the Coors guy
- 'Ill have the king of beers' says the Budweiser guy
- 'Lemonade please' says the head of Guinness
The other two look at him ... 'Lemonade?'
'Well if you're not drinking beer neither am I'
Why does h**... not like jewish lemonade ?
Its to hasidic
A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"
The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"
When life gives you lemons...
Attempt to weaponize lemonade.
[DEATH ROW]
WARDEN: Last meal?
CON: Just a glass of lemonade please
*Drinks lemonade/Burps*
WARDEN: Pardon
[CON WALKS FREE]
When life hands you lemons.....Make lemonade
Then, find someone for whom life has handed them v**.......
If life gives you lemons...
I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna s**....
If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called?
Arnold Palmer
When a lemon calls for help, what does it want?
Lemonade!
I gave this lady a sip of my lemonade last night and she fell in love with me.
I schwepped her off her feet. :)
I gave my crush a glass of lemonade yesterday, and she seemed to instantly fall in love with me.
I think I schwepped her right off her feet.
Gave a woman a drink of my lemonade in the bar last night and she completely fell in love with me.
I schwepped her off her feet.
My girlfriend gets mad whenever I mess with her red wine
So I added fruit and lemonade to it and now she Sangria then ever.
What do lemons call any first aid kits?
Lemonade kits.
A man walks into a restaurant...
A man walks into a restaurant with a lizard on his shoulder. He sits down and when the waiter comes he asks for a lemonade and a water for Tiny here. The waiter goes back and evenly brings him the drinks, sets them on the table, then asks why do you call him 'Tiny'. The guy says 'Because he's my newt'.
When life gives you...
...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...
...Make lemonade.
A bear walks into a bar and asks the bartender for "One Corona, two margaritas and......... a lemonade". The bartender replies "Sure, but why the big pause?"
The bear looks down and says "That's just the way I'm built".
All you can drink for a dime (an old Flip Wilson joke)
A kid sets up a lemonade stand in front of his house, with a sign that says, All you can drink for a dime.
Before too long, a man happens by, sees the sign, and thinks it's a good deal. He gives the kid a dime and the kid hands him a cup.
The man tosses it back and says, Hey, that was pretty good. I'll have another.
The kid says, That'll be another dime.
Now wait a minute, says the man, your sign says 'all I can drink for a dime.'
But you just had a cup, didn't you? asked the kid.
Yeah.
Well, that's all you can drink for a dime.
A group of Soviet tourists takes express-lesson of Italian before departure.
-Write a couple of phrases in Italian - tour guide says - such as: ''How much does lemonade cost?'', ''Where is the pharmacy?''
One of the tourists asks:
-How do I say ''Please, provide me a political asylum''?
-What have you just said? - asks another tourist seriously.
-Nevermind, just wanted to know which one of you is our KGB senior for this trip.
A kid is selling lemonade…
The boy's sign reads 1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1
A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.
The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.
As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren't your thing."
"I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.
