Lemonade Jokes
75 lemonade jokes and hilarious lemonade puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about lemonade that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
These Lemonade Jokes will make your day brighter. If you've ever gone to a lemonade stand, you know the range of beverages available (from good old-fashioned pink lemonade to vodka-laced drinks). Or, if you've ever had a run-in with a Hasidic Jew, you know that he's likely to provide you with a tall glass of the citrusy drink. Regardless of your experience, these lemonade jokes deliver the full gamut of hilarity associated with the beverage.
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Funniest Lemonade Short Jokes
Short lemonade jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The lemonade humour may include short lemon juice jokes also.
- When I was a kid, I had a lemonade stand. I'd give away the first glass for free and charge $20 for the second. The refill contained the antidote.
- Sick Lemon and Sick Bird What do you give a sick bird?
Tweetment
What do you give a sick lemon?
Lemonade - A 10 year old girl opens a lemonade stand and sells at such low prices her competition can't keep up, and is forced to close down. Maybe it would have helped if there were a punch line..
- My mate loves red wine. She hates it when people mess with it.... I thought I know I'll add some fruit and Lemonade....
But now she's sangria than ever... - The next person The next person that asks me for a pineapple juice, cranberry juice, lemonade and a slice of orange in the same cup is gonna get a punch.
- I've always wondered why lemonade is made from artificial flavours.... .....and furniture polish is made from real lemons ?
- I'm doing a crossword, and I'm stuck on seven down. It's seven letters long and the clue is Lemonade drink, not Sprite . Oh no wait sorry that's not seven down, that's Seven Up.
- When life gives you lemons, make lemonade; when life gives you apples, make physics equations F=ma
- If the musicians, Ice T and Lemonade formed a band, what would it be called? Arnold Palmer
- A boy was at a lemonade stand. He was deciding between a glass or a full pitcher. He told the seller he was really thirsty, to which they replied, "Take a pitcher, it'll last longer".
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Lemonade One Liners
Which lemonade one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with lemonade? I can suggest the ones about lemon lime and lemon and lime.
- What do you call assistants that help citrus fruit? Lemonade.
- Why do orthodox rabbis like lemonade so much? Because, it's acidic juice.
- A duck walked up to a lemonade stand, and he said to the man running the stand Quack
- What's the name for the emergency service for lemons? Lemonade
- What do you call a helpful lemon? Lemonade
- Why is Lemonade bad? Because it's Not-tea by nature.
- What do you call a medical treatment based on lemons? Lemonade.
- What kind of scientist put bubbles in lemonade? A FIZZicist
- Communist Lemonade A taste worth standing in line for.
- What do you call an unsweetened, kosher lemonade? acidic juice
- Where did the baseball keep its lemonade? In the pitcher!
- What do lemons call any first aid kits? Lemonade kits.
- Someone gave me lemonhead I caught lemonades
- When a lemon calls for help, what does it want? Lemonade!
- When life gives you lemons... Attempt to weaponize lemonade.
Lemonade Stand Jokes
Here is a list of funny lemonade stand jokes and even better lemonade stand puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand... Now the tune's stuck in your head... all day.
- Why don't lemonade stands charge a full dollar for drinks? It doesn't make any cents.
Good Lemonade Jokes
Here is a list of funny good lemonade jokes and even better good lemonade puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Q:How do you find a man in a bar who is sensitive, caring and good looking?
A:He's nursing a Mike's Hard Lemonade and is acting super super gay! - Why is iced tea selling lemonade good at golf? It makes him Arnold Palmer.
Pink Lemonade Jokes
Here is a list of funny pink lemonade jokes and even better pink lemonade puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Do you know what makes pink lemonade pink? Strawberries.
Cheerful Lemonade Jokes for Unforgettable Laughter with Friends!
What funny jokes about lemonade you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean iced tea jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make lemonade pranks.
Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dating in 1962
It was a hot Saturday evening in the summer of 1962 and Fred had a date with Peggy Sue.
He arrived at her house and rang the bell.
"Oh, come on in!" Peggy Sue's mother said as she welcomed Fred in.
"Have a seat in the living room. Would you like something to drink? Lemonade? Iced tea?"
"Iced tea, please," Fred said. Mom brought the iced tea.
"So, what are you and Peggy planning to do tonight?" she asked.
"Oh, probably catch a movie, and then maybe grab a bite to eat at the malt shop,
maybe take a walk on the beach..."
"Peggy likes to screw, you know," Mom informed him.
"Uh...really?" Fred replied, with raised eyebrows.
"Oh, yes!" the mother continued. "When she goes out with her friends, that's all they do!"
"Is that so?" asked Fred, incredulous.
"Yes," said the mother. "As a matter of fact, she'd screw all night if we let her!"
"Well, thanks for the tip," Fred said as he began thinking about alternate plans for the evening.
A moment later, Peggy Sue came down the stairs looking pretty as a picture wearing a pink blouse
and full circle skirt, and with her hair tied back in a bouncy ponytail. She greeted Fred.
"Have fun, kids," the mother said as they left.
Half an hour later, a completely disheveled Peggy Sue burst into the house
and slammed the front door behind her.
"The Twist, Mom!" she angrily yelled at her mother. "The d**... dance is called the Twist!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Christmas c**... joke
A bottle of lemonade fell on a barmans head. Why wasn't he hurt? It was a soft drink.
Lemonade
A man stumbles upon a little girl's lemonade stand and asks, "How much for a glass?" "First one's twenty-five cents," she responds. He hands her the money, downs the lemonade, and asks for another. "The second cup is twenty-five dollars", she states. Confused, the man asks, "Why?"
"This one has the antidote."
Lemonade
A guy sees a woman crying on a bench and goes to investigate.
"Hey what's wrong?" He asked.
"I just came back from the doctor with some bad news," she replied
He tries to cheer her up and says, "well, you know what they say: when life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
She responds, "I think I've had enough aids for one day."
Did you hear about the guy who poured lemonade on his spots for science?
After all, he was a fizzy-cyst
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a very smart glass of lemonade that is gay?
A h**...-genius mixture
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I passed a group of Girl Scouts this morning, with a stall that read..
.."Home-Made Lemonade: £15.00, o**... s**...: £5.00"
"Here's twenty pounds, girls, but I think you've got your prices mixed up," I chuckled.
"Once you've finished going down on me, you'll be gagging for that lemonade," said the sweaty fat one.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why did h**... hate lemonade?
Because it is an acidic juice.
A corpse walks into a bar...
And asks the bartender for a lemonade.
"Of course!" says the bartender, "I've never seen a stiff drink!"
Courtesy of the video game Fable 3.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If life gives you lemons, you make lemonade. If life gives you melons...
You might have s**... daily!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why does h**... not like jewish lemonade ?
Its to hasidic
Who makes the lemonade at a hospital?
A Fizzy-o-Therapist.
A philosopher and a political scientist are drinking lemonade on a porch in a nudist colony. The philosopher says, "I suppose you've read Marx?"
The political scientist replies, "Yes! It's these darn wicker chairs!"
[DEATH ROW]
WARDEN: Last meal?
CON: Just a glass of lemonade please
*Drinks lemonade/Burps*
WARDEN: Pardon
[CON WALKS FREE]
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
When life hands you lemons.....Make lemonade
Then, find someone for whom life has handed them v**.......
What does Trump enjoy on hot day after golfing?
A so-called lemonade, a so-called air conditioner, and his so-hot daughter.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If life gives you lemons...
I hope ~~he~~ life also gives you water and sugar or else your lemonade's gonna s**....
So, a corpse walks into a bar...
"Can I have a lemonade?" He asks the bartender.
The bartender says "Sure, I've never seen a stiff drink."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why don't Orthodox Jews drink lemonade?
Its a little too Hasidic for them.
When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you melons ...
... invest in a brassiere.
The waiter approached our table.
I said, "I would like the soup for my main, please."
"And to drink?" he asked.
I said, "Don't be silly, I'll have a cold lemonade."
When life gives you lemons...make lemonade! When life gives you lymes...
Make lemonade! ...but add in doxycyclene for about a 6 weeks to ensure the infection has cleared.
What do you get when you cross a mermaid with a lemon?
Lemonade
When life gives you...
...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...
...Make lemonade.
All you can drink for a dime (an old Flip Wilson joke)
A kid sets up a lemonade stand in front of his house, with a sign that says, All you can drink for a dime.
Before too long, a man happens by, sees the sign, and thinks it's a good deal. He gives the kid a dime and the kid hands him a cup.
The man tosses it back and says, Hey, that was pretty good. I'll have another.
The kid says, That'll be another dime.
Now wait a minute, says the man, your sign says 'all I can drink for a dime.'
But you just had a cup, didn't you? asked the kid.
Yeah.
Well, that's all you can drink for a dime.
A group of Soviet tourists takes express-lesson of Italian before departure.
-Write a couple of phrases in Italian - tour guide says - such as: ''How much does lemonade cost?'', ''Where is the pharmacy?''
One of the tourists asks:
-How do I say ''Please, provide me a political asylum''?
-What have you just said? - asks another tourist seriously.
-Nevermind, just wanted to know which one of you is our KGB senior for this trip.
A kid is selling lemonade…
The boy's sign reads 1 cup for 25¢, 3 cups for $1
A construction worker stops by and asks to buy one cup of lemonade.
"25 cents", says the kid.
The construction worker then buys another one, and another one, paying 25 cents each.
As the construction worker walks away, he turns around with a smile, and says: "Hey kid, you realize I just bought three cups for 75¢… Maybe lemonade stands aren't your thing."
"I guess you're right" says the kid good-naturedly as he sets up the next 3 cups.
