The Best 24 Legless Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Legless jokes. There are some legless viper jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these legless amputee puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Legless Jokes and Puns
Why did a man name his legless dog, Cigarette?
Cause he had to take him out for a drag every night.
I used to have a legless dog named cigarette
Every morning I would take him out for a drag
A man walks into a bar carrying a dog...
The dog has no legs. The bartender looks at the legless dog and asks the man, "What's your dog's name?" The man replies, "Cigarette." The bartender looks at him puzzled. "Why did you name him Cigarette?" The man replies, "Because every morning, I take him out for a drag."
I'm giving away my legless parrot for free.
No perches necessary.
I saw a guy pickpocket a legless midget
I couldnt believe he would stoop so low.
How do you call a legless dog?
You don't call it, you go pick it up.
Where do you find a leg-less turtle?
Wherever you left it!
What do you call an armless, legless man at your front door?
Mat
Did you hear about the legless man who got his wheelchair taken away?
He was floored.
Where do you find a legless child?
Where you left them.
How does a legless man take his coffee?
Decalf.
You can explore legless cripple reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean legless pistorius dad jokes. There are also legless puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
What do you call a armless, legless man in water?
Bob.
What do you call a legless cow?
Ground beef
What do you call a legless, armless amputee wiggling around in a pile of leaves?
Russell.
Oscar Pistorius will be celebrating his release to home arrest ....
Oscar Pistorius will be celebrating his release to home arrest by getting legless and doing some shots in the bathroom.
What do you call a legless nun?
Virgin immobile.
Loosely based off the nun in a wheelchair joke.
Do you know why a snake is long and legless?
Because if it were short and had legs it'd be a salamander.
Why don't tables like to get drunk?
Because when they get legless, they're just board.
A Snake goes into a bar
A Snake goes into a bar. The Bartender says "Looks like you won't need a drink, you're already legless!"
#BREAKING Oscar Pistorius has today made a plea for clemency ahead of his sentencing in April
Mr Pistorius claims he is not the first bloke to come home legless and put a few loads into his missus.
My Dog Sucks
I hate walking my legless dog.
It's such a drag.
Did you hear about the legless alcoholic nun?
Try as hard as she might, she just couldn't kick her habit.
Why was the legless man immortal?
Because he couldn't kick the bucket.
Spend your perfect valentines day like Oscar Pistorius...
...legless and blowing a load in your misses face
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the legless alcoholic jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working legless legolas piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.