Legged Jokes

Funniest Legged Short Jokes

Short legged jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The legged humour may include short legless jokes also.

1. What is something with 8 eyes, 8 leg, and 8 hands? 8 pirates
   My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.
2. Why do people say "break a leg" before an audition? It's so that they'll end up in a cast.
3. What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
4. "Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?" "Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"
   "Not this time. Our dog died."
5. I had my leg x-rayed today. The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
   By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
   The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷"
6. what has 2 legs in the morning and 3 in the afternoon? I have no idea but it's in my basement please send help.
7. What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life? Fred and George Weasley.
8. I like the smell of mothballs. But it can sometimes be hard getting their little legs apart.
9. British teenager Emma Raducanu has just won $2.5m by winning the US open final Sadly she needed 2 band-aids and a bandage for a cut on her leg in the last game, so she still owes about $25k
10. I'm not sure I believe all this stuff about genetically modified food being bad for you... I feel fine and I just had a really tasty leg of salmon...

Share These Legged Jokes With Friends

Legged One Liners

Which legged one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with legged? I can suggest the ones about hind legs and missing leg.

1. You know what has 8 legs 8 hands and 8 eyes? 8 Pirates
2. What's E.T. short for? Cus he's got little legs
3. I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms legs.
4. What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
5. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭
6. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
7. Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? To avoid being mistaken for feminists.
8. What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
9. I have a dog with no legs I call him cigarette. Every night I take him out for a drag.
10. How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.
11. What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
12. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
13. Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Where you left it.
14. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
15. You can't hang a man with a wooden leg, You need a rope.

One Legged Man Jokes

Here is a list of funny one legged man jokes and even better one legged man puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• Saw a man standing on one leg at an atm I asked him what he was doing and he said he was checking his balance.
• A one-legged man goes to a beer bar Bartender asks "What'll you have?"
  He replies "Something hoppy"
• A hitchhiker with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was standing on the side of the road An Irish man pulls up and says " eye,eye eye you look armless, why don't you hop on in?"
• I know a man with one leg named Smith i don't know what he named the other one
• A one-legged man walks into a tech-support store... ...and tells the man "I can't get past this 2-step authentication!"
• A disabled man rolls into a bar with one leg and one arm... Disabled Man: "I bought my first house today!"
  Bartender: "How much did it cost?"
  Disabled Man: "A lot!"
• I was at the bus stop the other day when I saw a man with only one leg I looked at his one leg, and I looked at my two. I looked back at his one leg and I thought, he must be rubbish at tabletennis
• What do you call a one legged man? Neil
• My 8-year-old's newest joke: What did the one-legged man with OCD say when he opened the closet? Hi, jean!
• What is it a man does standing, a woman does sitting and a dog does with one leg lifted? Shake hands

Legged Horse Jokes

Here is a list of funny legged horse jokes and even better legged horse puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What Has Two Legs and Bleeds Often? Half a horse.
• Where do you find a horse with no legs? Where you left him.
  Told to me today by a first grader.
• What has four legs and flies? A dead horse.
• What has eight legs, two arms, two wings, and three heads? A person on a horse holding a chicken.
• Vets aren't doctors: Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor?
  Vet: I treat horses but maybe I can help?
  Mom: My son broke his leg!
  Vet: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck.
• Where do you go to get a three-legged horse? The unstable.
• A blue man gives you a pineapple. A man with a horse for a head gives you a blender. A man with seven feet on each leg gives you a dragonfruit. What do you have? Schizophrenia.
• Where does the three legged horse live? The unstable
• Do you like jokes that make you think a little? If you had an one-legged horse, what would you name it?
  Flattery.
• My grandfather was riding a horse yesterday and its leg broke. So he decided to shoot it. Everyone else on the carousel started freaking out though.

Three Legged Dog Jokes

Here is a list of funny three legged dog jokes and even better three legged dog puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
• I own a three legged dog. It had four legs when I got it, but I wanted people to know that I'm a good person.
• At the tube station earlier I saw a homeless man sitting on the floor with a three legged dog next to a sign that read: Help, I'm starving. He can't be that hungry, he hasn't even finished his dog.
• A three legged dog walked into a bar and said "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
• A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: ''I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.''
• So a three legged dog walks into a bar... He looks around and asks, "who's the guy that shot my paw?"
• A three legged dog walks into a bar... Goes up to the bartender and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
• What's the difference between a hill and three legged dog? One's a slope up, and the other is a slow pup
• In retrospect, I'm embarrassed that I had a prosthetic leg made for my three-legged dog. Faux paw.
• What's the best one liner you've heard? Had this dropped on me at work today.
  A three legged dog walks into a bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."

Bow Legged Jokes

Here is a list of funny bow legged jokes and even better bow legged puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I didn't think my doctor could fix my bowed legs. I stand corrected.
• Why was the woman walking bow legged into her office at 1? She had Five Guys for lunch.
• Bowlegged Pirate Did you hear about the bow legged pirate? Apparently he has C legs

One Legged Jokes

Here is a list of funny one legged jokes and even better one legged puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop.
• Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.
• I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops
• how do we know that jews crucified Jesus? they used one nail for both legs
• "Doctor, doctor!" "I've roast beef in one ear, Yorkshire pudding in the other ear and gravy all down my legs!"
  Doctor: "Hmmm. I don't think you're eating properly."
• My grandpa returned from the war with one leg. We still don't know to whom that leg belonged.
• My friends Grandpa told us this when we were about 14, What did the one leg say to the other leg? Check out Shorty he's growing a beard!
• I once dated a woman that had one leg longer than the other.. Her name was eileen
• What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in an elementary school.
• The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."

Share Hilarious Legged Jokes and Enjoy Unforgettable Laughter

What funny jokes about legged you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean long legs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make legged pranks.