The Best 55 Legged Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Legged jokes. There are some legged toed jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these legged no arms and legs puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Legged Jokes and Puns
(A little offensive) Where do one legged people go to eat?
IHOP
where does a one legged waitress work?
I-HOP
A three legged dog walked into a bar and said
"I'm looking for the man who shot my paw."
A three legged dog walks into a bar...
Goes up to the bartender and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
A Three legged dog walks into the old wild west saloon
He says to the bartender, "I'm lookin' fer the guy who shot my paw."
Three legged pig
A man is driving through the country to see a farmer about a sale.
after awhile he turns into the front gate of the property.. before he can get out of the car to open the gate.. a three legged pig leaps up and undoes the latch - opens the gate for him.
He is amazed as he stops to close the gate again but notices the three legged pig quickly close and latch the gate behind him.
As he drives on to the next gate the pig runs at speed past his car - by the time he gets there the gate is wide open - the pig closes it behind him again.
He arrives at the homestead and the pig has already sped past him and in sitting on the lower step.
He asks the farmer 'what's the story with this three legged pig? he opened the gates and ran like lightning to get in front of me - it's only got three legs - amazing!'
Farmer replies - 'Good pig like that.., you would be mad to eat 'im all at once'
the three legged pig joke reminded me of a joke my dad once told me
a scientist was doing an experiment on a frog in his lab, he placed the frog down on the floor and said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped 4 feet and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 4 legs, jumps 4 feet"
he then cut off one of the frogs legs and again said "Frog jump!". the frog jumped only 3 feet this time and so he noted in his notebook
"frog with 3 legs, jumps 3 feet"
he cut off a 2nd leg and said "Frog jump!". this time the frog only jumped 2 feet and so he noted
"frog with 2 legs, jumps 2 feet"
he then cut off a 3rd leg and again said "Frog jump!". the frog only jumped a foot and so he noted
"frog with 1 leg, jumps 1 foot"
the scientist then cut off the frogs last remaining leg and said "Frog jump!, Frog jump!, FROG JUMP!!!!!" but the frog did not move. so he noted
"frog with 0 legs, deaf"
A three legged puppy walks into a bar
The puppy looks at everyone in the bar and says, I'm looking for the man that shot my paw.
A joke my 4 year old nephew made up. (It makes no sense, but still made me laugh.)
If the three legged turtle crosses the road what color is the rabbit?
Green! Because Space Jam was a good movie.
What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink?
Decalfinated.
What does Paddy Irishman says when he meets a one legged jockey?
How're you gettin' on?
You can explore legged bowlegged reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean legged between your legs dad jokes. There are also legged puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where does the three legged horse live?
The unstable
What do you call a donkey with three legs?
A wonkey.
What do you call a one eyed, three legged donkey?
A winky wonkey.
What do you call a Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A chinky winky wonkey.
What do you call an Elvis impersonating, Chinese, one eyed, three legged donkey?
A honky-tonky chinky winky wonkey.
How do you kill a 1 legged fox?
Make him run across Canada. (sorry)
Cow jokes
**What do you call a three legged cow?**
*Tri tip*
**What do you call a cow with no legs?**
*Ground beef*
**What do you call a masturbating cow?**
*Beef Stroganoff*
What is the funniest two legged lizard?
The stand-up chameleon.
3 legged bear.....
There was a 3 legged bear in the woods, sad as it was he ran into a one legged bear from Alaska - he was the 3 legged bears polar opposite.
What do you call a 3 legged cow named Summer in the winter?
Summer...Her name's summer.
What do you call a one legged rapper?
A Hip-Hop artist
A three legged dog from the wild west walks into a bar and looks around
The bar tender looks a him and says "who are you looking for?"
to witch the dog replies "I'm looking for the guy who shot my paw"
What do an asthmatic stoner and a one legged mountain climber have in common?
They both have difficulty getting high.
Did you hear about Kim Jong Un's one legged girlfriend?
Her name is Irene Sum
So a three legged dog walks into a bar...
He looks around and asks, "who's the guy that shot my paw?"
What's the difference between a hill and three legged dog?
One's a slope up, and the other is a slow pup
I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery
She was in charge of the hops
Why did the 100 legged bug spin around in circles before attacking its prey?
To gain centipedal force
I asked this one legged guy where he wanted to eat
He said ihop
What do I have in common with a two legged table?
Instability
Where is a one legged man's favourite place to eat?
IHOP.
A 2 legged dog walks into a bar...
He limps up to the bar, and says to the bartender "I'm looking for the guy that shot my paw."
What's a 1 legged mans favorite restaurant?
IHOP
Did you hear about the three legged dog who came wandering into town?
He was looking for the man who shot his paw.
Anyone hear the one about the three legged chess player?
Some say he's always a step ahead of the competition.
Why'd it take so long for the two legged cat to cross the road?
It had two paws
What do you call a one legged man in a pile of leaves?
Russel. What do you call a one legged woman? Ilene. What do you call a dog with no legs? Anything you want cause he ain't going anywhere.
Old western stranger
An old man sitting at the edge of an old western town sees a silhouette approaching from the dusty horizon. Its not long before he realizes that it is a 3 legged dog limping toward him. The old man shouts a warning to the dog "we dont take kindly to strangers around here". The 3 legged dog limps like john wayne while slowly raising his gaze up to look straight into the old mans eyes with a piercing stare and says" Im lookin for the man who shot my paw"
How do you tip a one legged stripper?
Hit it from behind.
The Oxymoron poem
Ladies and Gentlemen; hobos and Tramps; bug eyed mosquitos and legged ants: I come here before you to stand behind you to tell you a story I know nothing of.
One cold dark day in the middle of the night two dead boys stood up to fight, back to back they face each other, drew their swords and shot each-other! The deaf policeman heard this noise and came and killed those two dead boys.
Now if you don't believe this lie is true, ask the blind man, he saw it to.
Why was the woman walking bow legged into her office at 1?
She had Five Guys for lunch.
The worst part about the name change to IHOP...
Is one legged waitresses won't have a place of employment anymore.
A 3 legged dog walks into a saloon in the wild west
He slides up to the bar and says "I'm looking for the man who shot my paw"
What do you call a 1 legged fox?
Terry.
A South African miner loses a leg in an accident.
He cries 'Oh no! Who's going to want a one legged gold digger now?'
To which Paul McCartney shouts 'Me!!!!'
A 6 legged insect came up to me and said Help, my wife, Eve, has eaten an apple and is now trapped by the devil! I asked him, are you sure?
He replied, yes, I'm Adam-ant
A three legged dog
limps into a saloon in the old west and shouts, "I'm looking for the man who shot my pa!"
A three legged man walks into a bar.
Bartender looks at him and asked, conjoined twin?
No thanks, I'll just have a whiskey.
My newest girlfriend broke up with me after we lost a one legged race fundraiser.
She says we got off on the wrong foot.
A father had promised his two young sons he would take them on a fishing trip
The boys were digging for fishing bait in their parents' garden. Uncovering a many legged creature, one of the boys proudly dangled it before his Father.
"No, son, he won't do for bait" his Father said. "He's not an earthworm".
"He's not?" the boy asked, his eyes wide. "What planet is he from?"
What do you call an eight legged cat?
An octo-puss.
I'm dating a one legged girl who works at a brewery.
She handles the hops.
What do you call a one legged waitress?
Eileen
Where does she work?
IHOP
A three legged dog walks into a saloon and says,...
I'm lookin' for the one that shot my paw.
Why did the man name his no legged dog "Cigarettes?"
Because he liked to take him out for long drags.
I saw a 5 legged woman crying and I asked her why
She said she could never get shoes to match. I tried to console her so I said at least your knickers fit like a glove
I once dated a one legged girl who worked at a local brewery.
She was in charge of the hops
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the legged amputee jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working legged brutha piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.