JokoJokes

Legally Allowed Jokes

19 legally allowed jokes and hilarious legally allowed puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about legally allowed that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Legally Allowed Short Jokes

Short legally allowed jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The legally allowed humour may include short legally jokes also.

  1. I'm in a room with Trump, Hillary and a gun and I'm allowed to legally shoot one of them. Whoever lives becomes president. Who do I shoot? Myself.
  2. If the Doctor doesn't show up to your surgery You're legally allowed to die in 15 minutes.
  3. How to legally rob a bank If a bank teller is gone for 15 minutes, you're legally allowed to rob it.
  4. In Japan, people are now legally allowed to have 3 maternal guardians. Here in the states, however, we don't get Mother 3.
  5. What did the minute hand say to the hour hand at 6:30? "In 15 minutes I'm legally allowed to point left."
  6. Do you know why Michelle Obama is no longer legally allowed in schools? Because she has fire-arms.
  7. Did you know there is a country where you are legally allowed to have s**... with children? Yeah it's called Vatican City
  8. An important rule of s**... for men If she doesn't come in 15 minutes you are legally allowed to stop trying.
  9. If Clinton gets elected, federal employees will be LEGALLY allowed to consume cannabis! If you smoke, you have to say "I did not inhale"
    and if you do edibles, you have to say "I did not s**..."
  10. Recent changes in US laws Recent changes in US laws have finally allowed people to legally follow certain Old Testament laws like, "If a man lies with another man, he shall be s**...."

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Legally Allowed One Liners

Which legally allowed one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with legally allowed? I can suggest the ones about allowed and legitimate.

  1. Once we reach 15 months with the current president Are we legally allowed to leave?
  2. Tom Waits for fifteen minutes and then he is legally allowed to leave.

Hilarious Fun Legally Allowed Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter

What funny jokes about legally allowed you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean unlawful jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make legally allowed pranks.

A 10 years old boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom in Pennsylvania yesterday

.... when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life his family, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia 76ers whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

What's a pirate's favorite letter?

Not, not "Argh." Too obvious.
Not the "C" either. Everyone has heard that one.
"Without a P he's irate hahahahaha!" Blah blah blah. Nope.
Give up?
A letter of marque. It makes his profession semi legitimate, provides for a legal way to store his wealth in his homeland, and allows him to attain social prestige far above his station if successful enough.
Now you know, and knowing is half the battle.

Target practice

Out on the shooting range in an area where hunting is forbidden, I encounter two chinese gentleman curious about what happens at this place.
They politely ask if this is where they can shoot some rabbits. No no, I say, shooting rabbits is not legal here. You are only allowed to practice firing at the designated targets, you know for fun.
"Ahhhh" they remark. Taking a seat, staring at the field ahead of them. Guns on the ground next to them. Puzzled, I ask if they're going to take a few shots at the targets.
"Yes" they reply, "We wait for rabbit to move in front of target".

After committing very heinous crimes, three men are sentenced to 20 years of solitary confinement.

However, they are allowed to have *one* form of luxury for their sentence.
The first man requests a large stack of legal textbooks for his cell. The second man asks for a large stack of medical textbooks. The third man, on the other hand, requests 200 packs of cigarettes.
20 years have passed, and the three men are each released. The first man looks very pleased with himself and says to the wardens, "I've studied so hard I can now qualify as a *lawyer*!"
The second man looks equally proud. "I've studied so hard I can now qualify as a *doctor*," he remarks.
The third man shuffles out of his cell, looking extremely disgruntled. With a very annoyed tone, he says "Does anyone have a match?"

Getting beat

(AP) - A seven year-old Philadelphia, Pa boy was at the center of a Philadelphia courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulations requiring that family unity be maintained to the ...degree possible. The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried out they also beat him. After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two recesses to check legal references and confer with child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Philadelphia Eagles whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.