Leg Stump Jokes

17 leg stump jokes and hilarious leg stump puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leg stump that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Leg Stump Short Jokes

Short leg stump jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leg stump humour may include short tree stump jokes also.

  1. The sheriff at the press conference said we have a torso with no arms, legs, or head. Frankly, we're stumped.
  2. My friend asked me What do you call a man with no legs? It's been over two days and i'm totally stumped. Any help?
  3. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs that plays 15 musical instruments? Stump the Band

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Leg Stump One Liners

Which leg stump one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leg stump? I can suggest the ones about leg amputee and leg amputated.

  1. He cut off both of my legs and then asked me a question I couldn't answer. I'm stumped.
  2. I really don't know how I lost my legs I'm completely stumped
  3. Who would steal an artificial leg? I'm stumped.
  4. What do you call a lumberjack without any legs? Stumped!

Leg Stump Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about leg stump you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tree trunk jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leg stump pranks.

A professor makes a bet with a student

A professor makes a bet with a student. Every question the professor asks that the student can't answer the student will owe him $1, every question the student asks that the professor can't answer he owes the student $100.
Professor: What element has the atomic number 45?
The student having no idea hands the professor $1.
Student: What animal walks on 2 legs, sleeps on 4 legs, and runs on 3 legs?
The professor is stumped, so he gives the student $100.
Professor: Ok you win, but on earth was the answer to your question?
The student gives the professor $1 and goes home.

A farmer once successfully bred a three-legged chicken...

and bragged about it to his neighbors on how fast it was. A billionaire was passing by and took a liking to it. So he made a million dollar offer to the farmer for the chicken. Surprisingly, the farmer declined.
'Then, I'll give you five million for it,' said the billionaire.
'Sorry, I can't,' said the farmer.
'10 million dollars, I don't believe you'll turn down the offer'
'I'm truly sorry. I can't.'
The billionaire was stumped and asked, 'Is 10 million not enough?'
The farmer only sighed and reply, 'It's not that I don't want to sell it, that darned chicken is literally too fast for me to catch it.'

So this amputee hadn't told his fiance about his condition yet...

and he kept putting it off. Finally, on their wedding night, in bed with the lights out, he screws up his courage.
"Honey, I have a confession to make."
"What is it, dear?"
Instead of answering, he simply takes his brides hand and puts it on the stump of his leg.
"Well!" she exclaims, "This is a surprise! But I'll get the vaseline and see what I can do."

Einstein vs. Mr. Bean

The two were conversing.
Einstein challenged Mr. Bean, stating that if Bean couldn't answer Einstein's question, Bean would have to give him $1 as self-punishment.
Bean could also ask Einstein a question in return, and if the genius couldn't answer, he would have to give up $1000.
Einstein asked a very complicated question to which Bean had no answer.
Frustrated, Bean gave him a dollar. Now it was his turn.
B: "What animal has 4 legs, but only has 2 when he crosses the street, but 5 when he comes back?"
Stumped, Einstein gave him $1000.
E: "Good one. But tell me, what is this animal?"
Mr. Bean gave him a dollar.

Blonde on a plane.

(First submission, Hope people like it)
A very attractive blonde boards a plane for a long flight and settles in. As she is leaning against the window trying to get some rest a business man takes the seat next to her. "Hi I'm Frank" he says. "Oh hi" says the blonde before she tries to settle back in. "Wait a second now" says the guy "this is a long flight why don't we play a game. Tell you what, I will ask you a question, if you don't know the answer you have to give me $5. Then you can ask me a question and if I don't know the answer you get $500." "Ok fine" says the Blonde. "Alright! What is the Capital of Malta?" Admittedly the Blonde didn't know she she hands the guy $5. "See!" he says "It's a fun game! now you ask me one." "Alright... What goes up a hill on three legs, and comes down the hill on five?" Now the business guy is genuinely stumped. He pulls out his laptop and goes to work. As he does the blonde goes back to sleep. About an hour later the guy taps her on the shoulder "Alright... I have been every where on the internet, I tried everything and I can't figure it out. Here." and he gives the Blonde $500 "Thanks" she says and rolls back over to go to sleep "Wait! You can't just go to sleep! I want to know! What goes up a hill on three legs on down the hill on five?!" The blonde just smiled at him and handed him $5.

Two brothers, Bob and Tom, both work for a lumberyard.

One day, Bob tells Tom that he can tell what any piece of wood is just by smelling it.
Unbelieving, Tom blindfolds Bob and proceeds to test the theory.
The first piece of wood Bob smells, he instantly identifies as maple.
The second piece Bob instantly identifies as walnut.
Tom cannot believe Bob can really do this, so he takes an old piece of wood and whispers to the secretary to rub the wood between her legs. She happily runs it up in her c**....
Tom hands the piece of wood to Bob.
Bob smells it three times.
"I am stumped. But I would have to guess that this wood is either a pussywillow or a shingle from a s**...."