Leg Shaking Jokes
12 leg shaking jokes and hilarious leg shaking puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leg shaking that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Leg Shaking Short Jokes
Short leg shaking jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leg shaking humour may include short head shaking jokes also.
- What is it a man does standing, a woman does sitting and a dog does with one leg lifted? Shake hands
- Grandpa says his leg shakes when it's about to rain. I don't think he knows his phone is in his pocket.
- Hate shaking it off after peeing then putting it back in my pants still makes it dribble down my leg ... ... wish I could say a punch line but it's 40 y/o facts
- The CDC has updated their rules for handling Ebola: 1) put your left leg in
2) take your left leg out
3) shake it all about
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Leg Shaking Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about leg shaking you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean shaking like a jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leg shaking pranks.
I try to tell this joke in english :]
There's a young boy, with no arms, nor legs called Lumpi.
Lumpi plays in front of his house in the sandbox, then a window opens on the 4th floor and Lumpi's mother yells at him "Lumpi time to eat!" and she throws down a rope.
As Lumpi sees the rope hanging out of his window, he starts to rob to the rope and bite's it! He trained hard to hold himself on the rope with his teeth. Lumpi is very hungry and starts to pull himself up only with his teeth. Lumpi pulls and pulls, he's on the 1st floor, the window opens and a young Lady smiles at him, Lumpi smiles back, then pulls again...and again, 2nd floor the window opens and an old man sees him and waves at him, Lumpi shakes his head to greet back, then he start's to pull himself up again. Lumpi, all sweaty and hungry now on the the 3rd floor, near his own window on the 4th floor. The window on the 3rd floor opens and a Lady sees him, then she says "Hi Lumpi! What are you going to eat now?" and Lumpi replies " Pizaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!...."
Sry for my bad english, I just tried to tell a joke in english that I know in my own language. :)
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A soldier is running from Military Police. He runs up to a nun, and asks, out of breath: "Please... may I hide under your tunic?"
..."I'll explain later."
The nun nods in agreement.
A moment later, two Military Police officers show up and ask:
"Sister, have you seen a soldier here?"
The nun shakes her head. MPs run off, and the soldier crawls out from under her tunic and says, "I can't thank you enough, sister. You see, I don't want to go to Syria. I want to return to my family..."
The nun nods and smiles.
The soldier, relieved, adds jokingly: "I hope I'm not rude, but you have a great pair of legs!"
The nun smiles, and replies in a deep voice "Well lad, if you had looked a bit higher, you would've seen a great pair of b**...… guess we're both not going to Syria."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A man in his 60s h**... to a brothel
... constantly shaking from his Parkinson's.
He tells the madam I want 5 girls.
The madam says are you sure? 5 girls might kill you. But the man is adamant and soon enough he's in a room with 5 girls.
Shaking from every joint as he lays on the bed, he tells 2 girls: you two, hold down my arms.
Then he tells 2 more girls: you two, hold down my legs.
Finally, the last one, you get on top.
Now, you 4, let go!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
You know it's good when moan and your legs won't stop shaking.
Stretching, that is. You can do it anytime of the day and it still feels good.
A man visits a show of Amanda, the famous psychic and healer.
During the show Amanda walks to him, puts her hand on his shoulder and exclaims:
"You WILL walk!"
He says softly "But I'm fine, my legs already work."
She gestures dramatically and exclaims once more:
"YOU! WILL! WALK!"
The man decides to just play along, gets up and walks a small circle. The crowd goes nuts.
After the show he walks out, shakes his head and figures that this Amanda is just a fraud.
And then he discovered that his car got stolen.
As told by the 80-something year-old man at golf league.
My wife and I were driving home from dinner one night when I hit a small animal. "Pull over and see if it's all right." my wife insisted. Turns out that I had hit a baby skunk. My wife, an animal lover, picked up the hurt baby skunk and told me to drive to the animal hospital. As we were driving, she noticed the baby skunk was cold and shaking.
"What should I do?" she asked.
"Put the baby skunk between your legs, it's warm there.", I told her.
"But what about the smell?" she asked.
"Oh don't worry, he'll get used to it."
Blonde working at tickle me Elmo factory
A blonde has been looking everywhere for a job. But as soon as she shows up for interviews they see she's blonde and they don't hire her. Finally she goes to a tickle me Elmo factory,tells the boss her plight and he decides to hire her. He tells her what to do and she starts her shift. A few hours later the boss gets complaints that the assembly line has slowed down. He goes to see what the problem is and he see that the blonde has been putting to marbles between each of the tickle me Elmo's legs. Stunned the boss asks the blonde what she is doing. She says I'm just doing what you told me to do. The boss shakes his head no no no,I told you to give them two test tickles..
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A young teenaged girl has her first trip to the gynecologist...
She gets taken to the examination room and the nurse tells her to s**... down, put the gown on, sit in the chair and put her legs in the stirrups. The girl is a bit overwhelmed, but she complies.
A few minutes later, the doctor comes in, takes a quick glance at the girl's chart and then sits down on his stool, rolls up between the girl's legs, sticks his head under her gown and starts poking around. At this point he realizes the girl's legs are shaking tremendously, so he peeks out from under the gown to see the girl's face turning eight shades of red and covered in sweat.
He quickly grabs her chart again to read it completely, then says, "Oh goodness! Is this your first time at a gynecologist's?"
She nods and quietly replies, "Yes."
The doctor then says, "Well, if you think it'll make you feel better, I'd be happy to numb you first."
The girl shrugs her shoulders and says, "Okay."
So the doctor puts his head back down deep between her legs, shakes his head and goes:
"NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM NUM...."