Leg Jokes

• Short Leg Jokes
• Leg One Liners
• One Leg Jokes
• No Arm No Leg Jokes
• Leg Day Jokes
• One Arm One Leg Jokes
• Broken Leg Jokes
• More Leg Jokes

Funniest Leg Short Jokes

Short leg jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leg humour may include short forearm jokes also.

1. What do you call a cow with 3 legs? Lean beef.
   What do you call a cow with no legs?
   Ground beef.
   What do you call a cow with two legs?
   Yo momma.
2. What is something with 8 eyes, 8 legs, and 8 hands? 8 pirates
   My little brother told me this joke and I am so proud of him.
3. Why do people say "break a leg" before an audition? It's so that they'll end up in a cast.
4. What's green, fuzzy, has four legs and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table.
5. "Hey son, what has 4 legs and doesn't breathe?" "Haha you can't fool me again, dad. A chair!"
   "Not this time. Our dog died."
6. I had my leg x-rayed today. The doctor told me "your patella measures 2.54 cm"
   By surprise I said "Inch high knees?"
   The doctor replied "披萨卷2.54披萨卷"
7. what has 2 legs in the morning and 3 in the afternoon? I have no idea but it's in my basement please send help.
8. What walks on 8 legs until it's one years old, 4 legs until it's twenty years old and then 2 legs for the remainder of it's life? Fred and George Weasley.
9. Why have sumo wrestlers began shaving their legs? They were getting tired of being mistaken for feminists
10. I like the smell of mothballs. But it can sometimes be hard getting their little legs apart.

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Leg One Liners

Which leg one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leg? I can suggest the ones about one leg and broken leg.

1. You know what has 8 legs 8 hands and 8 eyes? 8 Pirates
2. What's E.T. short for? Cus he's got little legs
3. I just flew in from Chernobyl And boy are my arms legs.
4. What has 132 legs and 8 teeth? The front row of a Toby Keith concert.
5. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭
6. Why does a milking stool only have three legs? Because the cow has the udder.
7. Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs? To avoid being mistaken for feminists.
8. What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
9. I have a dog with no legs I call him cigarette. Every night I take him out for a drag.
10. How do you call a cow with no legs? You don't, because cows don't have phones.
11. What has 72 legs and 26 teeth? The first row of a country concert.
12. What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A pitbull coming from the childrens play ground
13. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs who's lost at sea? Bob.
14. Where do you find a dog that has no legs? Where you left it.
15. Why do sumo wrestles shave their legs? So that you can tell them apart from feminists

One Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny one leg jokes and even better one leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you say to a 20 year old with no legs, one eye and no health insurance? Thank you for your service
• My friend went bankrupt after inventing a sandal for people with only one leg. It was a flop.
• What walks on eight legs until the age of one, four legs until the age of twenty, and two legs after? The Weasley twins
• What do you call an Asian lady with one leg longer than the other?? Irene
• Saw a man standing on one leg at an atm I asked him what he was doing and he said he was checking his balance.
• Scientists have discovered why flamingos stand on one leg Because if they lifted the other one as well, they'd fall.
• I dated a one legged girl who worked at a brewery She was in charge of the hops
• I invented a sandal for people with one leg. It was a flop.
• What do you call an Irish woman with one leg shorter than the other? Ilene.
  What do you call a Japanese woman with the same affliction?
  Irene.
• how do we know that jews crucified Jesus? they used one nail for both legs

No Arm No Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny no arm no leg jokes and even better no arm no leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What do you call a man with no arms and no legs lying in front of your door? Matt.
• A man wakes up in the hospital after a serious accident He shouts "Doctor, Doctor I can't feel my legs!"
  The Doctor replies, "I know, we amputated your arms."
• What has 4 legs and 1 arm? A happy pitbull
• Did you hear what happened to the guy whose left arm and left leg got chopped off? He's dead.
• I'd like to thank my legs for supporting me My arms for always being by my side and my fingers... I could always count on them.
• Awwww If you watch Jaws backwards it is a heartwarming story about a shark who gives arms & legs to disabled people.
• Vader has a pretty sweet suit. It must have cost at least an arm and a leg.
• Q. What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A. Anything you want, there's nothing he can do about it.
• I would like to thank my arms For always being by my side
  I would like to thank my legs for always supporting me
  And I would like to thank my fingers because I can always count on them
• What is brown and has got four legs and an arm? A Rottweiler on a children's playground.

Leg Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny leg day jokes and even better leg day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I attended a meet called "How Stop Taking Things Literally". "What brings you here?" asked the host on my first day.
  I said, "My legs."
• Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day. Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.
• Just got my vaccine, but they stuck the needle in my leg. I spent the following day thinking my Pfizer killing me
• The word of the day is "legs" Wanna come over and spread the word?
• I've been slowly torturing a centipede for the last 98 days.. It's on it's last legs now
• I was at the cannibal restaurant the other day and ordered some legs. "Sorry," said the waiter, "they've just run out."
• Saw an amputee in the gym today.. Couldn't help but wonder if he skips on leg day.
• Ordered some Christmas presents online the other day and used my donor card instead of my debit card. Cost me an arm and a leg.
• Someone told me i had legs for days. They seemed confused when i told them i'd had them for years.
• My first and last day as a drug dealer. Car pulls up. Guy rolls the window down. "You got any coke?" Me: "Is Pepsi OK?" Dude shot me in the leg.

One Arm One Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny one arm one leg jokes and even better one arm one leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• What has four legs and one arm? A pitbull terrier in a childrens' playground
• What has four legs and one arm? An attack dog in an elementary school.
• The hitchhiker A guy with 3 eyes, one leg, and no arms is hitchhiking. Suddenly a nice English gent pulls over and says "eye, eye, eye, you look 'armless, hop in."
• I went into the bank earlier to check my balance Got some funny looks standing on one leg with my arms outstretched
• What animal has four legs and one arm? A pit bull on a playground.
• No one is sure how much it cost Coke to sponsor the Paralympics, but it undoubtedly cost an arm and a leg.
• A hitchhiker with 3 eyes, no arms and one leg was standing on the side of the road An Irish man pulls up and says " eye,eye eye you look armless, why don't you hop on in?"
• A person with three eyes, no arms and one leg is hitchhiking. A British guy pulls over and says, "Aye! Aye! Aye! You look 'armless. Hop in."
• What's the difference between an expensive purchase and a loud noise that scares a chicken? One costs an arm and a leg. The other caused alarm and an egg.
• What's got four legs and one arm? An attack dog in a preschool.

Broken Leg Jokes

Here is a list of funny broken leg jokes and even better broken leg puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My friend crashed his motorbike. He's brain-damaged and both his legs are broken.
  You know, I'm really not surprised that he crashed his bike then.
• Me and my friend had a bet that I couldn't beat him in a race. I'm a big guy, so needless to say, I won.
  His mom wasn't too happy to see both of his legs broken though.
• Why shouldn't you joke about broken legs? Because it's not Humerus
• What has broken arms, broken legs and is on the bottom of a river? People who tell jokes about the Mafia.
• Patient asking... Patient asking: "Doctor, it hurts when I press my leg. It hurts, when I press my arm. It hurts, when I press my head. What's that?"Doctor: "You have a broken finger!"
• What do you call a guy who has broken all his arms and legs? An Ambulance
• What do you call a Jamaican with a broken leg? Usain Halt.
• Did you hear about the race between the horses with broken legs? It was lame.
• What do you call a deer with one eye and a broken leg? I have no eye-deer
• Repost A friend of mine posted a joke about an ostrich with a broken leg 2 years ago. so many people have reposted it since then that it's still running.

Howlingly Hilarious Leg Jokes for an Unforgettable Evening

What funny jokes about leg you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean no arms and legs jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leg pranks.