The Best 37 Leftovers Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Leftovers jokes. There are some leftovers meal jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these leftovers eaten puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Leftovers Jokes and Puns

The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage...

...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.

The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after.

I quit cold turkey.

What do you feed 300 Indian people from Calcutta with?

Leftovers

Leftovers joke, What do you feed 300 Indian people from Calcutta with?

What do rabbis call the leftovers of a circumcision?

Debris.

I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers.

I quit cold turkey a long time ago.


After Thanksgiving a woman continually finds her husband rummaging through the fridge...

... ravenously devouring leftovers from their Thanksgiving feast. It gets to the point where she begins to get worried and asks, "Honey can you stop eating like that? You aren't even heating your food!" To which the husband replies, "Everyone knows it is futile to try and quit cold turkey!"

How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

He used sarin wrap

Leftovers joke, How did Saddam deal with his leftovers?

I've been addicted to eating the Thanksgiving leftovers...

...so I decided to quit cold turkey.

My last roommate was vegan

This happened two years ago. We were having a bbq before a game and he prepared some veggie burgers and I made some meat burgers. He mushed his veggie burgers up real good and it actually looked like meat after we cooked them. We put the leftovers in the fridge and went to the game.

When we got back I was a little bit drunk and was hungry so I opened the fridge and grabbed what I thought was the left over meat burgers.

It was a mis steak.

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Every year I end up have so much Thanksgiving leftovers..

Not this year though. I'm quitting cold turkey

You can explore leftovers spicy reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean leftovers garbage dad jokes. There are also leftovers puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


I've decided to completely forgo Thanksgiving leftovers this year.

I'm quitting cold turkey.

Have you heard of Eats Unwanted Leftovers Man?

He's the hero this city feeds

How do you prepare Greenlandic leftovers?

You Nuuk them

What's the worst part about Thanksgiving leftovers?

Having to quit cold turkey.

I was addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the refrigerator

But I got some help, and today I quit cold turkey.

Leftovers joke, I was addicted to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight out of the refrigerator

My girlfriend was unhappy that I referred to her as sloppy seconds

but she was even more unhappy with Lady Leftovers

I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers

So I was able to quit cold turkey

Where do dogs keep their leftovers?

In their pupperware.


A woman decided she needed to spice up her sex life. When her husband came home from work she was waiting for him wearing nothing but saran wrap.

When he walked through the door he looked at her and said, Oh no! Not leftovers again.

I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers

I had to quit cold turkey

You know those people who always let leftovers spoil? I tried teaching them algebra...

They couldn't learn the FOIL method.

When you heat up leftovers from thanksgiving...

You're quitting cold turkey

Leftovers are good

Until they're not

If you're dieting over the holidays...

And are tempted to snack on left-overs, just stop, cold turkey.

A family is paying the bill at the restaurant...

Mother: "Can you pack the leftovers for our dog?"
Waiter: "Sure."
Kids: "Yay, mom's gonna buy us a dog."

I wanted my leftovers in a to-go box, but the diner was out of them.

Foiled again.

Waitress walks over to the table

Waitress - You guys all finished?

Me - Yes

Waitress - You wanna box for your leftovers?

Me - No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

Eating leftovers is bad for my health

Everytime I tell my wife it was so bad the first time there's no way I'm eating it a 2nd, she beats me.

Where do Klingons store their leftovers?

Zip'loc!

For 10 years we ate leftovers for dinner..

...the original meal has yet to be found.

My family wanted me to go to rehab for my addiction to eating Thanksgiving leftovers straight from the fridge

But I wanted to go cold turkey

How do angels heat up their leftovers?

In the microwave on high

I couldn't be with a guy called stew..

I don't like people's leftovers.

My dad is so right wing...

he won't even have leftovers!

-I'll let myself out.

Three boys are complaining about their fathers...

Boy 1: My father is stingy! On my birthday, he only prepared three types of food!

Boy 2: My father is stingier. He only prepared two types of food for my birthday.

Boy 3: Your fathers are big spenders compared to mine. My father made sure I have five types of food for my birthday.

Boy 1 and 2: How is your father stingier than ours?

Boy 3: Because he asked your father for the leftovers.

Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers?

I'm trying to quit cold turkey.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the leftovers burritos jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working leftovers takeaway piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes