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Leftovers Jokes

57 leftovers jokes and hilarious leftovers puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leftovers that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Leftovers Short Jokes

Short leftovers jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leftovers humour may include short leftover turkey jokes also.

  1. My wife keeps getting mad at me for eating leftovers straight from the fridge. I told her that it's really hard to quit cold turkey.
  2. Did you hear about the guy who got addicted to eating thanksgiving leftovers out of the fridge? He had to quit cold turkey.
  3. The waitress asked me if I wanted a box for our leftovers. I said no but I'll wrestle you for it.
  4. The pressure of a gas is inversely proportional to its volume—Boyle's Law. Any leftover cabbage must be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise.
    —-Cole's Law.
  5. The other day I was scraping leftovers into the garbage... ...and I couldn't help but think of those poor kids in Africa who don't have any garbage bins.
  6. I was chopping up some leftover dumplings from my soup at a Chinese restaurant when suddenly it hit me... I was engaging in acts of wonton destruction.
  7. My family told me to stop eating the leftover Thanksgiving food from the fridge. But sadly, I couldn't quit cold turkey.
  8. What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving? I liked the leftovers before they were cool.
  9. The first year I didn't eat Thanksgiving leftovers on the day after. I quit cold turkey.
  10. Someone told me I could make ice cubes out of leftover wine I'm confused... What is leftover wine??

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Leftovers One Liners

Which leftovers one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leftovers? I can suggest the ones about thanksgiving leftover and debris.

  1. I used to be addicted to Thanksgiving leftovers I had to quit cold turkey
  2. I finally got a microwave to heat up my leftovers So I was able to quit cold turkey
  3. I'm not going to eat Thanksgiving leftovers anymore. This year, I'm quitting cold turkey.
  4. Any leftover cabbage can and will be shredded and mixed with mayonnaise. -Cole's Law
  5. What do Spanish people call leftover beef? Reincarne
  6. Knock Knock. Who's there? Arthur.
    Arthur who? Arthur any leftovers?
  7. I like my women like I like my pizza. Cold, greasy, and leftover.
  8. I've started a diet where I only eat my toddlers' leftover food. I've gained 10 pounds
  9. Where do Klingons store their leftovers? Zip'loc!
  10. Would you like some Thanksgiving leftovers? I'm trying to quit cold turkey.
  11. My dad is so right wing... he won't even have leftovers!
    -I'll let myself out.
  12. Knock Knock. Who's there? Tamara. Tamara who? Tamara we'll have turkey leftovers!
  13. I always heat up my Thanksgiving leftovers. I quit cold turkey a long time ago.
  14. When there is some wine leftover from communion, it doesn't get wasted... The vicar does.
  15. I wanted my leftovers in a to-go box, but the diner was out of them. Foiled again.

Leftovers joke, I wanted my leftovers in a to-go box, but the diner was out of them.

Comical Leftovers Jokes and Gems that Will Get You in Laughter Land

What funny jokes about leftovers you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean food waste jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leftovers pranks.

What do rabbis call the leftovers of a circumcision?

Debris.

A boy runs into his parent's bedroom at 3am and says, "Dad! Dad! There's a burglar in the kitchen eating all of mom's leftover chili!"

The dad replies, "Go back to bed, son. We'll bury him in the morning."

What do you call the smell of leftover Mexican food in your car?

A Texas air freshener.

What do you call a leftover rabbi?

Resi-jew.

An emotionally unstable man walks into a 7-11

He browses the candy section and decides to buy a Snickers bar. His total is $1.29. He pays with a $20 bill and tells the cashier to keep whatever is leftover.
"Are you sure?" The cashier says.
"I don't like change." the man replies.

Where do dogs keep their leftovers?

In their pupperware.

I found some leftover candy canes from last year that were still in their packaging.

They were in mint condition.

Waitress walks over to the table

Waitress - You guys all finished?
Me - Yes
Waitress - You wanna box for your leftovers?
Me - No, but I'll wrestle you for them.

Three boys are complaining about their fathers...

Boy 1: My father is stingy! On my birthday, he only prepared three types of food!
Boy 2: My father is stingier. He only prepared two types of food for my birthday.
Boy 3: Your fathers are big spenders compared to mine. My father made sure I have five types of food for my birthday.
Boy 1 and 2: How is your father stingier than ours?
Boy 3: Because he asked your father for the leftovers.

Nation dialogue

You know, I was very Hungary one day, so I went to go Czech the fridge. I managed to find some Turkey that was leftover from Thanksgiving, but it was all covered in Greece. So I closed the fridge and Czech'd the pantry. I saw a Canada beans, so I grabbed them and microwaved them, but it exploded. My mom says that Iran out of diversity with food, and that I needed to expand on that. She also mentioned we need to get groceries. I said "Denmark my words, I shall go to the grocery store!".

My wife and I were walking out of a restaurant with a d**... bag, when we saw a young teen in shabby clothes sitting on the sidewalk

He asked if he could have our leftovers, so I gladly gave them to him.
I asked him if he was an orphan.
He said "Yes I am - what gave me away?"
I replied "Obviously, your parents."

I asked my 7 year old, "Why do you have chocolate all over your face?"

He said, "Saving it for leftovers."
That boy cracks me up.

Why do people put leftover food in Tupperware?

Because they want to throw it out, but just not for a few days.

I'm part of a local community group, and recently people have been asking for leftover moving boxes

Each time I want to say the boxes that hold still are more practical

Threw out all the leftover holiday candy

Didn't want any more of it to go to waist.

I informed my Mexican friend that I had eaten their leftover cheese.

They replied, "K, so?"

The waiter came to my table and asked "Do you wanna box for your leftovers?"

So I knocked his a**... out with a left hook.

Leftovers joke, I've started a diet where I only eat my toddlers' leftover food.

jokes about leftovers