Left Jokes

• Short Left Jokes
• Left One Liners
• Left Hand Jokes
• Left Handed Jokes
• Left Turn Jokes
• Left Wing Jokes
• Right Left Jokes
• More Left Jokes

Funniest Left Short Jokes

Short left jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The left humour may include short leading jokes also.

1. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back.
   She just went to make a cup of tea.
2. My wife just left me. She says life revolves around football and she's sick of it. I'm quite upset. We were together for 7 seasons.
3. My wife left me because I am too insecure. Never mind, she was just picking up some groceries.
4. It is unfair how for every $1 a man makes, a woman makes $0.78... Because then the man is left with only $0.22...
5. My wife left a note on the fridge saying, "This isn't working, goodbye." I opened the refrigerator and it works just fine. Weird.
6. I couldn't find the thingy that peels potatoes and carrots, so I asked my kids if they'd seen it... Apparently, she left me two days ago...
7. My boss calls me "The computer" Not because of my calculation skills but because I go to sleep when left unattended for 15 minutes.
8. My girlfriend left me because of my abandonment issues... Oh wait. She's back. She just went to get some milk.
9. My wife left me because I'm too insecure. No wait, she's back. She just went out to bring me a cake.
10. my wife left me because i'm obssesed with africa kenya believe it?
    and we have two kids together, this divorce is ghana be so hard on them

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Left One Liners

Which left one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with left? I can suggest the ones about rights and side.

1. My wife left me because I'm insecure and paranoid.
2. My wife left me because I am insecure No wait, she's back.
   She just went to get coffee.
3. How do you tell if OP has left the hotel? Username checks out
4. The wife caught me cross-dressing So I packed her things and left
5. What did the Indian kid say to his parents when he left for school Mum bai
6. My wife left me because of my gambling addiction But I know I can win her back
7. Why didn't the japanese guy get a high five? Because Logan Paul left him hanging.
8. Why did the fox News Christmas tree catch fire? They left it too close to the gaslight.
9. I left my Adderall in my Ford Fiesta. Now I have a ford Focus.
10. My wife left me because I couldn't stop doing impressions of pasta And now I'm cannelloni
11. What did the Indian boy say to his mother as he left for school? Mumbai!
12. Where do you find a cow with no legs? Where ever you left it 🤷‍♀️🤭
13. I don't usually brag about going to expensive places But I just left the gas station.
14. My blind wife left me At least she isn't seeing anyone else
15. Never try to hi-five Logan Paul You won't be the first person he's left hanging.

Left Hand Jokes

Here is a list of funny left hand jokes and even better left hand puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• When I meet a girl for the first time I shake hands with my left. I don't want to intimidate her with the competition right away
• Why should you never brush your teeth with your left hand? Because a toothbrush works better.
• Did you know that Jim Carrey lost the use of his left hand for a month in 1997? He was all righty then.
• Can secretaries really write memos with both their left and right hands at the same time? Or is that just stereotyping.
• Don't date a left handed girl... righty tighty
  lefty loosey
• I got a new pair of gloves today but they're both 'lefts' Which, on the one hand, is great
• I went to the prosthetic limb store to buy some new hands "Two of each hand please." I say to the man at the counter.
  "We're all out of left hands sir." He responds.
  "All right then."
• Being left handed is unacceptable... It's just not right .
• My girlfriend broke up with me so I started dating her twin sister I'm not left handed but i'll have to make do until the doctor removes the cast
• I never date left handed women Righty Tighty
  Lefty Loosey

Left Handed Jokes

Here is a list of funny left handed jokes and even better left handed puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• How many bassists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. Just have the keybord player do it with their left hand.
• Last month, I had my left hand and left leg amputated because of an accident… but I'm now recovering, I'm all right now.
• If you have a green ball in your right hand, and a green ball in your left Then you have Kermit the Frog's undivided attention
• I tried changing up the way I use the bathroom, so I wiped with my left hand today! I really wish I used toilet paper instead, though.
• A mime in my town was arrested by the police after he broke his left hand in a bar fight. He still….has the right to remain silent.
• Why is programming in Django hard? You can only use two fingers on your left hand.
• A guy asked me how I lost the finger on my right hand. I was showing someone how I lost the finger on my left
• My friend stirs soup with his left hand. But I stir soup with a spoon.
• No matter how hard I try, I can't trust left-handed people. Something about them just isn't right.
• Scientists have discoverded that left handed people... ...have more advantages in day to day life than no handed people.

Left Turn Jokes

Here is a list of funny left turn jokes and even better left turn puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• If I was a cop I would be ticketing people for not using their turn signals.. Left and right
• I was in a Uber today and the driver said, "I love my job, I'm my own boss.
  Nobody tells me what to do…"
  Then I said "turn left"
• Two blondes are going to Disney Land At the turn off, they see a sign saying "Disneyland left"
  They went home crying.
• I asked Siri " surely it isn't going to rain tomorrow" and he replied " yes it is, and don't call me Shirley"...turns out I left airplane mode on
• A blonde was driving on the way to disneyland. She came to an intersection and stopped, she saw a sign that read, 'Disneyland Left'. So she pulled a U-turn, cried and drove home.
• A blond is driving to DisneyLand... She sees a sign saying "DisneyLand left" so she turns around and drives home.
• Riding with Uber earlier.. The driver said,
  "I love my job, I am my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do..."
  Then I said, "Turn Left.
• Tips to reduce weight…
  First turn your head to the right and then to the left. Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!
• I had a few drinks last night so I left my car and took a bus instead Turns out I can't drive a bus very well when I'm drunk either
• I tried teaching my dog how to dance, but it turns out... ...he's got 2 left feet.

Left Wing Jokes

Here is a list of funny left wing jokes and even better left wing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• I would never get on a plane with Ben Shapiro He would try to destroy the left wing.
• What's the difference between the USA and a bird? On a bird, the left wing and the right wing work together to benefit the whole bird.
• American politics is like a penguin. It has both a left wing and a right wing. But are only good for flapping and making noises.
• Why did Ben Shapiro destroy a KFC restaurant? 'Cause they served him left wings.
• Never take a plane with Ben Shapiro He will destroy the left wing
• (Politics) Why would it be unsafe to board a plane with Ben Shapiro? He'd destroy the Left Wing.
• Did yo hear about the Hillary special at KFC? Two fat thighs and a left wing for $2.99
• I guess politicians are just a bunch of chickens. Ya got the right wing and the left wing.
• If I were ever to win the lottery, first thing I'd do is hire someone to clean my kids room... and then buy some chicken wings with the $20 I have left over.
• The cable news networks tend to cater to different groups Fox News is for right wings, MSNBC is for left wings, and CNN is for plane wings.

Right Left Jokes

Here is a list of funny right left jokes and even better right left puns that will make you laugh with friends.

• My wife is furious at me because I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right left away.
• You're being chased by a Lion, you're on a horse to the left of you is a Giraffe and on the right a unicorn what do you do? You stop drinking and get off the Carousel.
• I met Matthew McConaughey and asked him to sign a photo for me. I told him to make sure he doesn't write anything in the left side of the picture though. He said "Alright, I'll write all right."
• Trump has two parts of brain, 'left' and 'right'. In the left side, there's nothing right.
  In the right side, there's nothing left.
• At 23:59 31.12.2015 I raised my left foot off the ground Just to be sure I start 2016 on the right foot
• Captain Kirk actually has 3 ears. The first is the left ear, the second is the right ear, and then there's the final frontier.
• In the US people drive on the right side of the road, but here in Atlanta we drive on what's left.
• Why is mother always right? Cause dad's left.
• ‌‌I finall‌‌y figure‌‌d ou‌‌t what'‌‌s wron‌‌g wit‌‌h my brain! O‌‌n th‌‌e lef‌‌t side‌‌, ther‌‌e i‌‌s nothin‌‌g right.
  O‌‌n th‌‌e righ‌‌t side‌‌, ther‌‌e i‌‌s nothin‌‌g left.
• When rowing a boat, do you use the left paddle or the right paddle? Either oar.

Hilarious Left Jokes for a Fun-Filled Night with Friends

What funny jokes about left you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lets jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make left pranks.