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Led Jokes

129 led jokes and hilarious led puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about led that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Bring a bit of humor and fun to your family night with these hilarious Led Zeppelin jokes. From puns about properties to Reid jokes, these jokes are sure to make everyone in the apartment laugh—naturally!

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Funniest Led Short Jokes

Short led jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The led humour may include short apartment jokes also.

  1. Why do police officers wear blue? Because the black uniforms led to too much friendly fire.
  2. I went out dressed as a chicken last night. and I met a girl who was dressed as an egg. One thing led to another and a lifelong question was answered; it was the chicken.
  3. Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin agreed to take care of each other's garden. This means Roger Waters Robert's Plants.
  4. my 14 year old came back with this after his biology class Q. who was the Jewish prophet that led the water molecules across the partially permeable membrane?
    A. osmoses
  5. So John Kelly claims that the lack of an ability to compromise led to the Civil War... I wouldn't say that's 100% accurate, but at least 3/5ths.
  6. What do you call a male cow that keeps falling asleep? A bulldozer.
    I just made this up. I apologize for my self and my entire ancestory that led to this.
  7. All this panic buying has led me to using alternative methods for toilet paper... Last week was tree leaves this week it's lettuce. And that's just the tip of the iceberg!
  8. Fidel Castro just died, Cubans can be finally happy that their country will be ruled by the young generation led by a much younger leader. His 85 year old brother!
  9. Honey, I just changed that old bulb for a modern LED. It's good for 10000 hours… it'll probably outlast me! "It's also a lot brighter than you." she said.
  10. What do Led Zeppelin and New Orleans have in common "When the Levi breaks, we have no place to stay"

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Led One Liners

Which led one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with led? I can suggest the ones about met and led zeppelin.

  1. Who led the Jews across a semi-permeable membrane? osMoses
  2. Why hasn't peru adopted LED lights yet? Because they are proud of their incan descent.
  3. Who led the Jewish people through the semi-permeable membrane? Osmoses
  4. What is Popeye's favorite Led Zeppelin song? Olive My Love
  5. If James Bond led such a high-risk lifestyle... why wasn't he James Stock?
    -Caroline
  6. Who led the Israelites through the Semi-Permeable Membrane? Osmoses
  7. Who led the Jewish people across a semi permeable membrane? Os-Moses.
  8. The cheese industry is led by an illusive, secret cabal They're called the Hallouminati
  9. Pandemic has led to another type of shortage: Social skills
  10. Who led the first revolt in a concentration camp? Hansel and Gretel.
  11. Today marks the 80th anniversary of the Hindenburg disaster. Next up: Led Zeppelin.
  12. What's the brightest airship ever made? LED Zeppelin
  13. What duck related scandal led to the creation of Windows OS? BillGate
  14. Joshua led the Hebrews in the battle of Geritol in Florida.
  15. Smashing light bulbs is, among other things, unchivalrous. It's no way to treat LED.

Led Zeppelin Jokes

Here is a list of funny led zeppelin jokes and even better led zeppelin puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Did you hear that they upgraded the lighting system on the Goodyear blimp? Now they call it the LED zeppelin.
  • What do catholic priests and Led Zeppelin's Stairway to Heaven have in common? They both play in A Minor.
  • I heard the Greta Van Fleet had to cancel the rest of their US tour. The lead singer pulled his hernia. From lifting too many Led Zeppelin songs.
  • Did you people know Led Zeppelin reunited to write a book? However, it will only have one page.
  • Led Zeppelin predicted the Brexit! Baby I'm gonna Leave EU
    Leave EU when the summer comes
    Leave EU when the summer comes a-rolling.
  • My son asked me today, "Dad, what music did you like growing up?"
    "Led Zeppelin," I replied.
    "Who?" he said.
    "Yeah, I liked them too."
  • Most people don't realize that LED ZEPPELIN was originally called... ...CRT ZEPPELIN, but changed their name to stay with advances in technology.
  • Why couldn't Led Zeppelin play pinball? They had No Quarter
  • What do you call a balloon that glows in the dark? A LED Zeppelin
  • What does every Led Zeppelin fan want for Christmas? Presence

Led Lighting Jokes

Here is a list of funny led lighting jokes and even better led lighting puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guy with LED Light up shoes at work, excitingly proclaims "Look at my shoes! They light up when I walk away!" His annoyed co-worker sarcastically replies: "Doesn't everyone?"
  • At first, I was skeptical about replacing my florescent bulbs with newer LED ones... But once I did, I started seeing things in new light.
  • This guy tried to sell me his idea of a cricket field lit by LED lights. It was an interesting pitch.
  • I saw some tiny yet super-bright lights -- so pretty I wanted to eat them! But I didn't. I was afraid I would get LED poisoning.
  • Work switching to LED lights in the parking lot All I can say is that it's going to be LIT
  • My dad installed new LED bulbs in his home. I started seeing him in a new light after that.
  • What do you call an airship made up of lights? An LED Zeppelin
  • How much feminist it takes to change a led light bulb zero because it's white

Gather Around for Fun Led Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about led you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean afterward jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make led pranks.

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?

I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.

Two doctors, Jenkins and Smith, are treating a man with lung disease.

They're explaining how him smoking w**... led to his condition worsening.
But it's just herbal! the patient protested. How can it be bad?
Dr Jenkins sighed. Apricot stones contain lethal amounts of cyanide. There is a certain plant in my back garden - if you sit under it for just ten minutes, you will die. Just because it's natural doesn't mean it's safe for you!
The man seemed to accept that, and after he and the doctors parted ways, Dr Smith asked, What is that plant that kills you if you sit under it?
A water lily.

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board, so I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet,

The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and not gone to the after life yet.
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there is a stairway to heaven.

Koi fish are incredibly intelligent, and naturally form groups of four fish, with each having a specialized role.

The group is always led by a leader fish , called koi A. The other three fish will follow it everywhere.
Koi B is in charge of hunting for the group, and will report back to them with the location of food.
Koi C is usually a large, aggressive female. She protects the group from threats, and asserts dominance over other groups of koi.
And if the fish are attacked, the other three swim away, and the predator always goes for the D koi.

After dying h**... arrives at the gates of heaven

God asks him his name and on hearing "h**..." instantly remarks that he should be sent to h**.... h**... pleads to God to atleast consider some merit for him in heaven. To this God rumbles " You persecuted millions of Jews, led a second world war to happen and caused the German people to suffer a lot. On what possible merit would we consider admitting you into heaven ?"
h**... calmly replies "My Lord, I am also responsible for killing that man"

During the French Revolution a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer were facing execution on the guillotine.

The doctor was first, but the blade jammed and the doctor was set free due to Divine Intervention.
The lawyer was next, again the blade jammed, and was also set free.
As the engineer was being led to his doom, he glanced up at the blade and said Wait a minute! I think I see the problem…

Grandpa Mike died this weekend.

He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster. In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days. He will be mist.

A mother asked her son to lose their cat somewhere in the jungle.

The boy obeyed. The boy returned home and reported to his mom.
Son: Mom! I led the cat far into the jungle. I even got lost!!
Mother: How were you able to come back home?
Son: I followed the cat.

The real reason for the missing of many flat-earthers in recent weeks as suggested by their friends of similar thought

The Flat Earth Society has reported that the 6 foot social distancing measures have led to the pushing of some of their members over the edge.

A cold snap across the United States has seen Texas dealing with temperatures as low as -18

The demand for electricity has led to blackouts across the state, causing some people to go without Fox News for so long, they've stopped blaming the weather on Joe Biden.

Revenge on a four-year-old child

A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
I led the child over to my piano, where I allowed him to randomly hit a few keys. I remarked "Wow, your son has a good musical sense, he's quite talented!"
I heard the child hasn't had any free time ever since.

A warning to be careful about drunk driving..

Last night I was out for a few drinks. One thing led to another and I had a few too many pints before progressing on to Tequila. Not a good idea.
Knowing I was over the limit, I decided to leave my car at the car park and took a taxi home.
On the way home, I passed a police checkpoint on the freeway. The cops were pulling over cars and performing breath tests. Because I was in a taxi, they just waved it past.
I arrived home safely and without incident, which was a real surprise as....
I've never driven a taxi before and I am not even sure where I got it from..

A rabbi is on his deathbed...

...and a friend asks him if he has any last requests. The Rabbi asks his friend to find him a Catholic priest, so that he might convert.
Confused, his friend asks, "Rabbi, why? You have been a great teacher and leader of your followers, and you have led a good and honorable Jewish life. Why would you want to become a Catholic now, before you die?"
He says, "Eh, better one of them than one of us."

Since the Democratic Party is led by Sleepy Joe Biden, today they announced that they'd be renaming themselves to the ZZZ Party...

... realizing that the Republican Party name no longer provides a strong enough contrast with their opponents, President Trump and Mitch McConnell declared that they will be changing their name to the Not ZZZ Party.

Led Zeppelin obsession

My girlfriend came in with tears in her eyes, saying she prayed and prayed that I would end my obsession with Led Zeppelin.
I told her, "Crying won't help ya. Praying won't do you no good."

70 year old man goes to his doctor

and tells the doctor the night before he met a woman half his age. She started flirting with him, and one thing led to another. He went back to her place, he got instantly hard, and they s**... like bunnies for 4 hours.
The doctor asks, "So what's wrong?". Guy responds, "Nothing's wrong."
The doctor says, "So why are you telling this to me?".
Guy says, "Telling you - I'm telling everybody!!!"

No one expects it!

A guy was traveling in the Spanish countryside, and after driving all day he stopped for the night at a tiny inn. The innkeeper, upon giving him his key, asked him if he would like to participate in a battle of wits with his special chicken. "If you stump him, you get a wish, any wish you like!" he explains. The man agrees to it, and he's led into the bar, whereupon sits a healthy sized hen. He proceeds to have a battle of wits, and is roundly defeated by the hen. "I didn't expect the chicken to be so smart!" says the man. "No," says the innkeeper, "no one expects the Spanish inn quiz wish hen!"

A man bought himself an expensive new car

He was a superstitious fellow and wanted to keep anything bad from happening, so he invited a priest, an imam and a rabbi over to bless the vehicle.
First, the priest sprinkled holy water on the hood.
Next, the imam led everyone in a prayer to the vehicles' greatness.
Then finally, the rabbi sang a song & cut off the end of the tailpipe.

Not the egg!

Last night, I went to a Halloween party. I showed up dressed as a chicken and met a girl who was dressed as an egg.
One thing led to another and a question of the ages was discovered. IT WAS THE CHICKEN!

A man was sent to h**... after his death..

As he was being led into the pits for an eternity of torment, he saw a lawyer passionately kissing a beautiful woman.
What a joke! he said. I have to roast in flames for all eternity and that lawyer gets to spend it with that beautiful woman. Satan jabbed the man with his pitchfork and snarled, Who are you to question that woman's punishment?

An Irish man decides to go on Mastermind....

He's called to the chair.
'Your chosen subject?' asks the presenter.
'Easter Rising of 1916, sir,' he replied.
Time starts now ... What was the date of the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'Who led the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
'How many men were involved in the Easter Rising of 1916?'
'Pass.'
Suddenly an Irish voice boomed from the studio audience:
'That's right, p**... - tell them nothing!'

A wealthy man died and went to heaven.

He was met at the Pearly Gates by Saint Peter who led him down the streets of gold.
They passed mansion after mansion until they came to the very end of the street.
Saint Peter stopped the rich man in front of a little shack.
This belongs to you, said Saint Peter.
Why do I get this ugly thing when there are so many mansions I could live in? the man demanded.
We did the best we could with the money you sent us! Saint Peter replied.

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender

"Give me two beers. Rough day at work."
And the bartender says, "Oh? what do you do?"
The guy says, "I take care of the Corgis - you know, the dogs that the royal family owns."
The bartender says, "Tough job, huh?"
The guy says, "Well, all that in-breeding has led to low intelligence
and bad temperament. And the dogs aren't that smart either."

A group of hikers were being led through the wilderness by a guide.

On the third day, the hikers noticed that they had been travelling in circles.
"We're lost!" One of the men complained. "I thought you said you were the best guide in the United States."
"I am," the guide answered, "but I think we may have wandered into Canada

Arguing couple

A married couple drove down a country road for several miles, sitting in silence. An earlier discussion led to an argument in which neither would concede their position.
As they passed by a barnyard full of mules, pigs, and goats, the husband sarcastically asks: "Relatives of yours?"
'Yup,' the wife promptly replies. 'In-laws'

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Carry A Flashlight

A tourist was being led through the swamps of Florida.
"Is it true," the tourist asked, "that an alligator won't attack you if you carry a flashlight?"
"That depends," replied the guide, "on how fast you carry the flashlight."

Me and my wife were having an argument about which family we will spend Christmas Day with...

I'm sure many couples can relate. I want to spend it with mine and she obviously wants to spend it with hers. It led to a big argument where she yelled, You like your family way more, you hate my relatives
I replied, That's not true, I like your mother in law way more than mine

A sailor comes back one morning after a long time at sea

His best buddy died on the ship, so he goes announcing the news, first thing, to his widow. One thing led to another and they are starting to undress, but she suddenly stares at him and stops, asking:

-Why are you only half mast?
-It's mourning wood

The double meaning of Christmas!

I bought a new 6 foot, artificial, LED Christmas tree yesterday.
The sales assistant asked " Are you putting this up yourself sir?"
"No, it's going in the living room as usual" I replied.

A mule walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why the long face?"

The mule replies, "Well, my mother was a horse, of course, of course. And no one can talk to a horse, of course. Which eventually led to divorce, of course. Of which there was no recourse, of course.
So without my father but with my mute mother, it took quite a long time for me to discover...
...I can't have kids"

The other day I decided to buy a Ouija board

I wanted to see if I could get in touch with deceased celebrities that havent crossed over yet.
The only celebrity I could get in touch with was Stephen Hawkings.
I asked him a few questions including why he was a ghost and how come he had not gone to the after life yet?"
Turns out Led Zeppelin was right all along,
there IS a stairway to heaven.

A recent Polish immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license

He first had to take an eye exam. The optician led him to an eye chart and pointed to a row with the letters-
'C Z W I M T O S T A C Z'
Can you read this? The optician asked.
Read it?! The Polish man replied. I even know the guy!

A boy is listening to the car radio with his father

"Dad," he began, "what music did you like when you were growing up?"
"Well, I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin," the father replies.
"Who?"
"Yeah, I liked them too."

Talking clock

 While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
  "Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"

Little Johnny asked his teacher a question.

"If there were two doors where one of them led to unlimited money and the second one ked t**... a path guiding to knowledge, which one would you choose Mrs. P?"
Mrs. P: Obviously, the door with the knowledge.
Johnny: I would go for the door with unlimited money since one only wants something he doesn't have already.

Two electrician friends meet at the hardware store after work

and chat about LED fixtures and other areas of illuminating rooms for a few hours. When the one electrician returns home to his wife that asks what took so long, he replies
"Me and my friend were just having a light conversation at the store."

In the city, a guy was caught taking out all the red bulbs in traffic lights after months of going unseen

He wasn't sure what led to his capture, since he was pulling out all the stops to not get caught.

I once watched a documentary about a Russian leader who ruled the Soviet Union and led the Red t**... genocide...

...I thought it was about their current president but it turns out, he's not that Vlad.

I am a builder from Sioux Falls, and I was recently in Madrid at a local tavern, and couldn't believe the amount of code violations in their building practices. This led me to accept that they are their own culture and....

Nobody inspects the Spanish inn condition.

What's the difference between Feminism and Islam

One is a woman led group that aims to beat the patriarchy.
The other is a patriarchy that aims to beat women.

Shortest conversation that led to a beat down

Wife: I have changed my mind
Husband: Is it working now?

I'm drunk at a wedding

There is no punch line
(True Story led to this joke, hope yall like)

My brother sat down with my girlfriend and I. He said, "Pal, I've got a confession to make. Last night I had s**... with your girlfriend. We went to a party, she was drinking beer, I was drinking wine. One thing led to another..."

I turned to my girlfriend, in shock. "Tell me he's lying."
She said, "He is, it wasn't beer it was cider."

I like to write lyrics in my spare time.

This led to me finding out my cousin was dyslexic when I messaged him asking if he would rate a rap and he responded by s**... molesting a rodent.

All this WFH time has led to a surprising discovery: I do my best work in the kitchen.

I'm counterproductive.

My ventriloquist d**... said he hates having his life led by someone else.

I said, "Speak for yourself."

I love the English cricket team....

The thinnest guy is called broad, ugliest guy is called swann, slowest fielder is trott, guy who is 'behind' the stumps is called prior, and guy whose father's name is john is called peter-son. And the guy who is named Monty goes in with his clothes on.
No doubt, this Cricket team deserves to be led by a Cook.

Nihilistic Kindergartners

David Bloom gained notoriety for his book Piscus Terminus: How to tell your five year old you flushed his fish down the toilet. Noted for its brute realism, the book's message led many kindergartners to spiral into a nihilistic despair, which contributed to the phenomenon of so called Kierkegaardeners , whose existential search for subjective truth in an otherwise meaningless world made birthday parties kind of a downer.

A young couple got together and started making out.

One thing led to another, and soon they were about to have s**.... Just then they realise that neither of them really know what to do. The girl said she'd ask her mom about the steps. Her mom said that both have to undress and then she should grab the hardest part of his body and put it inside where she pees. So, she put his head in the toilet.

s**... Rule.!

A new patient was quite upset when the doctor's nurse led him to a small, curtained cubicle and told him to undress. "But I only want the doctor to look at an ingrown toenail!" he protested. "Our rule is that everyone must undress," replied the blond nurse. "That's a s**... rule," grumbled the patient, "making me undress just to look at my toe." "That's nothing," growled a voice from the next cubicle. "I just came to fix the phones!"

I found some cheap old paint and used it to decorate my beadroom. That night, the whole room lit up...

Turned out to be LED based paint.

Eddie Vedder's LED lamp bulb stops working...

He goes out to buy some replacements, and sees that the colour options available consist of blue and yellow.
After testing both colours of bulb on his lamp, he decides that he likes the yellow LED better.

A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer are taken to the guillotine...

On a beautiful Sunday afternoon in the midst of the French Revolution the revolting citizens led a priest, a drunkard and an engineer to the guillotine. They ask the priest if he wants to face up or down when he meets his fate. The priest says he would like to face up so he will be looking towards heaven when he dies. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
The drunkard comes to the guillotine next. He also decides to die face up, hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest. They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his neck. Again, the authorities take this as a sign of divine intervention, and they release the drunkard as well.
Next is the engineer. He, too, decides to die facing up. As they slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, the engineer suddenly says, "Hey, I see what your problem is ..."

Why was abolishing the one-child policy in China morally controversial?

It led to an increase of youth in Asia

A Seriously Ill Man is on Death Row

He is led to the electric chair and asked if he has any last words.
"Good news!" He says, "The doctor told me I'm gonna live!"

Arsene Wenger to be named new Brexit Minister.

Since he led arsenal to another quick European exit.

jokes about led