Leaving Speech Jokes

6 leaving speech jokes and hilarious leaving speech puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leaving speech that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Leaving Speech Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.

What is a good leaving speech joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.

11 People on a rope

11 people were hanging on a rope, under a helicopter.
10 men and 1 woman
The rope was not strong enough to carry them all, so they decided that one had to leave.
Because otherwise they were all going to fall.
They weren't able to choose that person, until the woman gave a very touching speech.
She said the she would voluntarily let go of the rope, because as a woman, she was used to giving up everything for her husband and kids or for men in general, and was used to always making sacrifices with little in return.
As soon as she finished her speech, all the men started clapping...

A horse walks into a bar

The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse unable to understand human speech promptly takes a dump on the floor and leaves

In a speech two days ago, Prime Minister Theresa May has announced that she plans to delay Brexit, in the hopes that the UK leaves with her deal on 22 May

May wants to leave at the end of May.

So I heard Donald Trump announced Melania will be giving a speech...

... glad to hear Michelle Obama will have writing work after leaving the White House.

Thor came down to Earth from Asgard

Thor goes to a singles bar to have a drink, and sees a beautiful girl he'd like to make love to. He goes over to buy her a drink, and she has a slight speech impediment, but Thor doesn't care because she is so beautiful and s**....
They leave the bar, and go to her apartment, and proceed to have 8 hours of fantastic s**..., every which way possible.
In the morning, he feels just a bit guilty, and decides to confess who he is to the woman.
"I have to tell you something, I'm really Thor"
She turns to him and says "YOU'RE THOR? I AM SO THOR I CAN'T EVEN PEE!"

some hipster jokes

Q: What do you call a hipster with a speech
A: Mumblr. Q: Why do hipsters love ice?
A: Because ice was water before it was cool. Q: Why are all the ugly chicks hipsters?
A: Because beauty is just too Mainstream!Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a
A: You wouldn't know, it's kind of an obscure
number Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream. Q: Why did the hipster leave his oceanside
A: It was too current. Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram.

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