The Best 48 Leash Jokes

Following is our collection of funniest Leash jokes. There are some leash rope jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these leash fido puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Funny Leash Jokes and Puns

How does a blind parachuter know he's getting close to the ground?

The leash on his guide dog goes slack.

How did the blind skydiver know he was about to hit the ground?

He felt the slack in his dog's leash.

Blind Man

A blind man walks into a department store with his seeing eye dog. All of a sudden he starts swinging the dog around in the air by its leash.

One of the store clerks run up to him and yells, "What are you doing!?"

The blind man replies," I'm just taking a look around."

Leash joke, Blind Man

A blind man walks into a department store...

He takes the leash of his seeing-eye dog and starts swinging the poor dog around above his head.

"Um... Sir? Can I help you?" asks the salesperson.

"No thanks," replies the blind man. "I'm just looking around."

How does a blind parachutist know when to pull his rip-chord?

The leash goes slack...


How to blind parachutist know they're close to the ground?

The feel the leash go slack!

(heard this one while listening to some irish tunes)

How do blind sky divers know when to pull the rip cord?

When the leash goes slack.

Leash joke, How do blind sky divers know when to pull the rip cord?

A blind man walks into Walmart...

A blind man walks into Walmart with his seeing-eye dog and makes his way to the center of the store.

Suddenly, the man picks up his dog and , like a lasso, begins to hurl the dog around over his head by its leash.

The manager, quite confused and a little concered for the dog flying around in the air, quickly runs over to the blind man.

"Sir! Is there something I can help you with?"

"Nope, just looking around."

An Irishman walks into a bar, carrying a penguin under his right arm....

A crocodile on a leash in his left hand, and a parrot on his shoulder. He walks up to the bartender and says "I'll have three pints of Guinness please".

The bartender looks at the Irishman.

Looks at the penguin.

Looks at the crocodile.

Looks at the parrot.

Looks back to the Irishman and says,

"What's all this supposed to be then? Some kind of joke?"

Joke my Grandpa told me. Pastors have the best jokes.

A blind man walks in to a store with his dog. He walks to the center of the store and starts to swing his dog around by the leash.

The store owner tries to stop the man "what do you think you are doing?"

The blindman replies "Just taking a look around."

The bull

A farmer is driving his tractor through his field when he spots his neighbor's five year old walking an enormous bull with a leash.

"Hey sweety! Where are ya headin' with that big bull?"

"Hiya Mr. Johnson! Imma takin' it to Maynard's t'mount his cows."

"Good, good... but cantya daddy go instead?"

"Naw, Mr. Johnson... the bull has t'go."

You can explore leash collar reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean leash doggie dad jokes. There are also leash puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What's the difference between an old-time organ grinder and a heroin addict?

One has a monkey on a leash and the other has a monkey on his back.

Been taking my cat to the park for leash training.

A guy goes skydiving...

and there's a blind guy on the plane going up with him. The blind guy has a seeing eye dog with him and a really really long leash. As they're going up the guy asks him, "Why bring the dog with you?"

The blind guys says, "He jumps first to let me know when to pull my chute."

"How does he do that?" the man asked.

"The leash goes slack"

How do you walk a chicken on a leash?

You pullet.

A blind man stands in a store whirling a dog around his head with the leash.

A saleswoman asks May I help you, sir? Nah, just looking around.

Leash joke, A blind man stands in a store whirling a dog around his head with the leash.

What do you call a pig on a leash?

Pulled Pork

What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash?

Bisexual.

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar...

Hillary Clinton walks into a bar with a pig on a leash.

The bartender looks at them and says "You can't bring that cow in here!"

Hillary replies, "It's a pig, not a cow."

The bartender says "I was talking to the pig."


I was gonna make a joke about my dog being a freak on a leash...

But it was too korny

A blind man goes into a department store.

A blind man goes into a department store with his seeing eye dog. He walks it to the middle of the store and starts swinging the dog in the air by his leash over his head. Alarmed, the manager of the store runs over to the man and asks, "Excuse me sir, can I help you with something?" "No thanks, I'm just looking around."

Everybody hates on child leashes.....

But a child leash could have saved harambi

A blind person walks into a bar, picks up her guide dog by the leash and starts swinging it above her head.

The bartender asks what she's doing, and the blind girl responds: "I'm just looking around"

How does a blind person know when to open their parachute?

When their leash goes slack.

How a blind skydiver knows he's going to land?

Guide dogs leash gets loose

How did the blind skydiver know when he was getting close to the ground?

The leash on his guide dog went limp.

A blind man walks into a convenience store with his service dog

He heads down an aisle and pauses, his faithful Golden Retriever by his side. With a grunt he picks the dog up by the leash and starts swinging him in circles over his head.

*Wooosh wooosh wooosh*

Bags of chips are flying around and candy bars are falling to the floor, along with a clamorous noise.

The frustrated store clerk yells at the man. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING??"

"I'm just looking around."

A man was walking along the street with a brick on a leash, when ...

A man was walking along the street with a brick on a leash, when a lady came up to him and said: "What's your dog's name?". The man replied: "It's not a dog lady, it's a brick on a leash!". The woman walked away shaking her head. When she was gone, the man turned to the brick and said: "We sure fooled her, didn't we rover?"

To the lady at Tesco who had her kid on a leash...

I'm sorry I asked if he was a rescue, and very thankful you didn't sicc him on me.

A blind man was walking downtown and he stumbled upon the fish market.....

As he enters the market with his seeing eye dog all of a sudden he picks up the leash and begins swinging the dog over his head.

The manager runs up to the man and asks, "What are
you doing?!!"

The blind man replies, "Just looking around."

How do the blind know when they're reaching the ground on a parachute jump?

The leash goes slack

A tough guy walks into a bar with an alligator on a leash.

When he has everyone's attention, he grabs the alligator by the mouth, opens it, and let's it chomp down on his crotch. He counts to ten, then hits the gator on the head with a beer bottle and it lets go. When the applause dies down, he offers $1,000 to anyone that can do that . The bar is dead quiet, and finally a little old lady raises her hand. I'll try it...but just don't hit me that hard on the head with the beer bottle .

To the lady at Costco with her son on a leash.

I'm sorry that I asked if he was a rescue

How does a blind parachutist know when he's approaching the ground?

The leash goes slack!

A blind man is swinging his dog around on its leash like a helicopter. A shocked onlooker asks "What are you doing?"

The blind man replies "Oh, just looking around."

What do you call a dog without a leash

It's called a dog

When does a blind skydiver know when the ground is close?

The leash goes slack.

A man walks into a restaurant with an alligator on a leash.

He asks the waiter, "Do you serve children here?"

"Of course."

"Then I'll have pasta and my alligator will have some children."

A Married Couple Go to A Pet Shop.

The person on the floor greets them and says, "Hello, welcome to our pet shop! How can I help you?" The wife responds, "Could you find me a pet leash?" The sales floor person responds, "Sure! Right this way!" And the husband replies, "Don't forget one for the dog!"

Please give me an advice...

Our kid found a collar and a leash in our bedroom. How to explain to him that we are not buying him a dog?

Blind man walks with his dog into a convenience store.

He lifts his dog by the leash and starts swinging it over his head.

Store manager runs over and ask "can I help you with anything!"

Blind man says "no thanks, I'm just looking around."

A blind man walks into a convenient store with his seeing-eye dog

And he's walking around when all of the sudden, he picks his dog up by the leash and starts swinging it around, knocking everything over.

The cashier runs over and starts yelling
"Sir! Sir! What the hell are you doing!?"

The blind guy puts his dog down and says
"Oh, I'm just looking around."

A blind man and his guide dog walk into a bar

The man just stands there for a few seconds, then suddenly, he starts swinging his guide dog around by his leash.
The bartender, shocked, asks the man: what the hell are you doing with that dog?
The blind man replied: I'm just looking around

How can a blind skydiver tell when he's about to hit the ground?

The leash goes slack.

Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.

As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps. Putting her face in her hands, she moaned "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

How does the blind skydiver know he's about to land?

The dog leash slackens.

(Cr

What would a sadistic Sean Connery sex shop be called?

Lash But Not Leash

Blind person goes skydiving. How do they know when they'll hit the ground ?

There's less tension in the dog's leash.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the leash chihuahua jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working leash wag piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes