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Learning French Jokes

22 learning french jokes and hilarious learning french puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about learning french that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Learning French Short Jokes

Short learning french jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The learning french humour may include short learning german jokes also.

  1. I learned that 17th century French royalty depleted their treasury... I guess you could say they were baroque.
  2. What is the first thing French soldiers learn, when joining the military ? The phrase "I surrender" in german
  3. What do the French learn in basic training? How to surrender in twenty-seven different languages.
  4. I tried to start learning French verbs... ...but it's impossible with all the new pronouns.
  5. Where have I learned my French you ask? From the meeting between my furniture and my pinky toe.

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Learning French One Liners

Which learning french one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with learning french? I can suggest the ones about french language and learning english.

  1. What's the first thing they learn in the French army? To say "I surrender!", in German.
  2. About a months ago I started to learn how to speak French. But then I gave up.
  3. I tried to learn a new language But after a week of French, I gave up.

Learning French Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about learning french you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean bad french jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make learning french pranks.

Bob was struggling in the bedroom because he couldn't last as long as his wife.

He thought that maybe if he learned some French it would help.
But it didn't.
Then he tried learning German.
That didn't help either.
He tried Spanish, Portuguese, even Sweedish. Nothing worked.
Finally, he gave up. "It doesn't matter what language I learn," he said to his wife. "They all have one thing in common."
"What's that?" She asked.
"D comes before V."

Two old friends meet in bar...

[translated from Turkish]
-Hey Jack! How have you been! It's been months!
-Bonjour Monsieur ! Indeed, it's been a while
-"Bonjour Monsieur"? What's this French?
-Mais biensur !
-Don't screw with me Jack. I know you don't know French. We both went to the same school and we never had any French lessons!!
-No, no! I'm learning via the radio. 99.3 FM. Every day at 10AM you have French lessons. Very easy, I suggest you try.
-Oh, ok, cool I'll give a try tomorrow.
Next morning he calls Jack:
-Yo Jack, I have those old radios with a needle for tuning. Does it work with those old radios too?
-Sure! Scroll to 99, then go a little further to the right.
-Oh cool! Thx!
-Mais de rien !
-oh! s**... already...
Couple of weeks later, he meets Jack again. And Jack asks:
-Salut mon ami, How is your French?
- Shhhszzzzoussssshzzziuhli! (static noise)
[probably not the best written joke :/]

John learning Math

Teacher was teaching math to 5 yr old John.
Teacher: What is 5 - 5?
John: *Keeps Quiet*
Teacher: If you have 5 burgers and I take 5 burgers from you, what will you be left with?
John: French Fries.

A French man and a German sit at a bar

The French man says to the German, In France, we have fun by going to the park, eating bread with cheese, and mocking tourists. What is it that you Germans do for fun? The German replied, In Germany we ride the autobahn, visit historical sites, and learn about the world. Pah! , the French man says, you Germans do not know what fun is. The German replied, The last time we had fun, the Americans had to save you.

An anglophone student is learning to speak French

…when a black fly lands on his teacher's desk. Regarde le mouche , the student tells his teacher.
It's not LE mouche says the teacher. It's LA mouche .
…the student is impressed: how could you tell? Your eyesight is amazing!

Problems of language ( sorry for bad english)

Two Hungaryan policeman stops a car. The driver cant speak hungaryan so he tries to speak in english. The two policeman cant understan it and they just looking at the guy. Then the driver speaks to them in german, french, and a bunch of other languages. The policemen let him go. Then one of them says: Shouldnt we learn any languages? The other says: Why sould we? That guy knows so many languages but they still useless.

This is what I learned from Russian Literature

Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island
If they were French then they would have a "m**..." and get along just fine.
If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce.
And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.

Joke I heard while in Hungary

Two cops are standing by the street side in New York City. A foreigner approaches them looking slightly panicked.
"Parlez vous Francais?" He asks them. The cops, not knowing a word of French merely shrug their shoulders at the man.
Frustrated, he asks them, "Ustedes hablan español?" Again, the cops merely shrug.
The foreigner continues with the same result with Dutch, Russian, and German. Eventually, he leaves, knowing that there's no hope for him to communicate with the officers.
"I keep telling you we should learn more languages!" says one cop to the other.
"Why?" he responds. "That man knows five, and it didn't get him anywhere."

An american was invited to a conference in France as a speaker.

He was not speaking French at all but being a smart guy and wanting to impress the audience he learns by heart his entire speech in French.
When his moment come, he goes on the stage and realizes he completely forgot the introduction. So he looks around the room and notices the toilets in the back and ... Eureka! That's it: "Ladies and Gentlemen".
After the speech and the applause, follows the cocktail, he meets a French colleague and asks him how was it. The French guy says:
It was fantastic; your French is really good but you know ... in France we never start a speech with "Toilettes et Pissoirs".

The foreign tourist

Hank and Frank are walking down the street. A flustered-looking guy comes up to them and asks,
"Parlez-vous français?" (Do you speak French?)
They stare at him. He tries again,
"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?" (Do you speak German?)
They shrug.
"Hablas español?" (Do you speak Spanish?)
Nope.
"Parli italiano?" (Do you speak Italian?)
They shrug again, the man gives up and leaves.
Hank says, "maybe we should learn a foreign language."
Frank notes, "that guy knew 4 and look what good it did him."

There's an Italian in a language class.

"Today we are learning about similes and metaphors. Can anyone give me an example" says the tutor.
A Spaniard pipes up "My wife dances salsa like a goddess"
Then a french man has his turn "My wife has p**... like a forest"
The Italian guy likes how this language works, so he has a try "I met a woman last week, Her eyes where like stars in the sky. Her hair was like soft velvet. She had a body like a supermodel" the tutor cuts him off there seeing that he could go on for ages "could someone give us an example of a metaphor now?"
"Well I was getting to that" says the Italian. "She was so fine I had to ask her out, And yesterday I met 'er for lunch".
I think it's from an old British comedy show, when TV was racist, but I'm not sure.