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Learning English Jokes

58 learning english jokes and hilarious learning english puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about learning english that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Learning English Short Jokes

Short learning english jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The learning english humour may include short speaking english jokes also.

  1. What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
  2. Some say that the english language is hard to learn. But you can do it through tough, thorough thought though.
  3. It is hard to understand English but you can learn it through tough thorough thought, though!
  4. Why are programmers so good at poetry? Well, all words rhyme in binary.
  5. My Middle Eastern dad has learned English from watching infomercials. So when I would get in trouble as a kid and get punished, he would finish by saying "But wait, there's more!"
  6. Why is English considered the easiest language to learn? Because even the Americans are decent at it!
  7. I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish characters...talk in pauses...because they learned...how to speak English...by watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies.
  8. The Greek learned you could avoid pregnancies by using sheep intestines. The English later learned it also works if you remove it from the sheep first.
  9. Learning English So a man and his wife decided to speak in English at home to improve their language skills.
    Her: Hunney, I'm going to rest a little bit.
    Him: Sure hunney, rest in peace.
  10. Guy moves to America, just learning English, gets cut off in traffic and yells 'E# Female Sheep' buddy in the car goes, um, no, it's f u

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Learning English One Liners

Which learning english one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with learning english? I can suggest the ones about learn english with and learn english through.

  1. Rule #1 for learning english Their our know rules!
  2. How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English? Dairy practice.
  3. I finally learned what La Quinta means in English Behind Denny's
  4. There's only 1 rule in learning English 1.) Their our know rules
  5. English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though.
  6. Why is English such a hard language to learn? Because it's
  7. Why is learning English confusing when you're camping? Because running is past tents.
  8. What I learned from school... Science, English, Maths and a few other words.

Learning English Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about learning english you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean learning german jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make learning english pranks.

Three English men were in a bar and spotted an Irish man.


o**... said he was going to bug him.
He walked over to the Irish man and tapped him on the shoulder. "Hey, I hear your St. Patrick was a s**...."
"Oh really, hmm, didn’t know that."
Puzzled, the English man walked back to his buddies. "I told him St. Patrick was a s**... and he didn’t care!"
"You just don’t know how to set him off, watch and learn."
The second English man walked over and tapped the Irish man on the shoulder. "I hear your St. Patrick was a t**...!"
"Oh, wow, I didn’t know that, thank you."
Shocked beyond belief, the English man went back to his buddies. "You are right, he is unshakable!"
The third English man said: "No, no, no, I will really big him, you just watch."
The English man walked over to the Irish man, tapped him on the shoulder and said: "I hear your St. Patrick was an English man!"
"Yeah, that’s what your buddies were trying to tell me."

Outside is snowing hard.

My wife is looking thru the window with a nostalgic look.
If it is getting colder i might let her in.
PS: Sorry my native language is not english and i'm too old to learn it good.

One thing I learned about s**.... Before you do it, always, always, always make sure to..

ask.

An Indian learning English.

An Indian(like from India) is walking through the forest with his English teacher while the teacher points to and names objects. He points to a tree and says, "tree" the Indian repeats, "tree". They walk a little further and the teacher points to a rock and says, "rock" and the Indian repeats, "rock". They walk a little farther still and they come across a couple having s**..., the Indian says, "how you say that?" the teacher, a tad embarrassed, says, "uuhh that's a bicycle." The Indian proceeds to run over, pick up the guy from the ground and beat him senseless. The teacher, surprised, runs over and manages to pull the Indian off of the man. He says," why did you do that? do you know this man?" the Indian responds, "No, I don't know the man, but he was riding my bicycle!"

USSR jokes about America

My dad told me this one was a classic when he lived in the former Soviet Union:
So as you know, Russia and America would send spies against each other frequently. All American spies were mandated to learn Russian and all Russians English.
Well so, the American spy gets dropped off in the middle of Siberia. Freezing, he goes to the nearest house and knocks.
When the owner gets to the door, the spy says, "May I please have some shelter and food?"
The owner of the house replies, "..........YOU MUST BE SPY!"
The spy immediately is baffled and attempts to cover up, "What are you talking about?!"
"No black man speaks Russian!"

A newly born baby is miraculously able to talk

A newly born baby is miraculously able to talk.
The stunned doctors and nurses start asking questions - "How did you learn english?"
The baby replies "I heard many conversations and tv and radio while in the w**...".
Then a doctor asks "Were you aware of the whole birth?", "yes, it was a bit stressful, but glad to get into fresh air" says the baby."
Everyone is totally amazed, then a nurse puts the baby in its mum's arms, she is sobbing "I'm your mummy", "I know mummy, I know" says the baby cuddling her.
"and do you know who this man standing next to me is?" she asks looking at her partner.
"Well not my daddy, that's for sure", says the baby,
"how do you know that?" asks the horrified mum,
The baby sighs, "I wasn't born yesterday"

I always thought my english grades were good

But then in 6th grade, i learned the alphabet

To kill a mockingbird should have been titled "h**... a mockingbird." Learn English idiot.

This is what I learned from Russian Literature

Alright so 2 guys and 1 girl are stranded on a island
If they were French then they would have a "m**..." and get along just fine.
If they were English then they would be mad at each other because none of them were properly introduce.
And if they were Russian then the girl would have married the guy she didn't like and everyone would be unhappy.

Why God never got a PhD

1. He had only one major publication.
2. It was written in Aramaic, not in English.
3. It has no references.
4. It wasn't even published in a refereed journal.
5. There are serious doubts he wrote it himself.
6. It may be true that he created the world, but what has he done since
then?
7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.
8. The Scientific community has had a hard time replicating his results.
9. He unlawfully performed not only Animal, but *Human* testing.
10. When one experiment went awry, he tried to cover it by drowning his
subjects.
11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted, he deleted them from
the sample.
12. He rarely came to class, just told his students to read the book.
13. Some say he had his son to teach the class.
14. He expelled his first two students for learning.
15. Although there were only 10 requirements, most of his students
failed his tests.
16. His office hours were infrequent and usually held on a mountain top.

I'm the only one in my Mexican family that knows English...

...I always tell my siblings, "learn English so you can get a better job!" but they don't take my advice.
It's like they don't understand what I'm saying...

What's the difference between E.T and i**... immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.

My German Teacher Wrote This On The Board This Morning

"When I was learning English, my tutor said that if we have trouble learning ' lead ' and ' lead ' just remember that ' lead ' sounds like ' read ' and ' lead ' sounds like ' read ' "
I loved this one.

Global bee population is drastically dwindling, what can they do to save themselves?

Pretty simple. They need to learn English and say Let us bee!

Swimming

So i translated this Serbian joke (but i dont speak english good) hope that u will get it
Two friends are talking and one say :
-My mom married again, and my step-father is teaching me how to swim!
-So, how is it going?
-Nice! I already learned how to get myself out of the sack!

Three couples are eating breakfast in the hotel restaurant

They're early birds, and the only ones there. It's an American, an English and a Norwegian couple. The American says to his wife
"Can you send me the sugar, sugar?"
The Englishman overhears him, and, thinking he can't be any worse than an American, asks his wife
"Will you pass me the honey, honey?"
The Norwegian guy hears both of them and thinks for himself that he really has something to learn from these guys. So he turns to his wife and says
"Get me the milk, you cow!"

What's the difference between an i**... alien and E.T.?

E.T. learned English and went home.

I hate when American n**... say "Sieg Heil"

Like seriously learn English, and stop this multicultural behavior.

How did Kim Jong Un learn every word in the English dictionary in one day?

He's the Supreme reader.

Sure, English is a hard language to learn.

But it can definitely be understood through tough thorough thought though.

A bookseller in German-occupied Copenhagen came up with a new idea to help sell books...

He displayed a book and poster in his shop window saying "English In 50 Hours, Learn English Before The Tommies Arrive."
He was immediately ordered by the n**... to remove it.
On the next day he put up a new book and poster in the same window that said "German In 50 Hours, Learn German Before Our Friends The Germans Depart."

‪My foreign coworker has always wanted to learn to speak English but can't afford Rosetta Stone. So all of us got together and bought him headphones, a new computer, and a copy of the Sims 2‬

Two mexican children are learning how to count in english

The first one asks: "What was it that comes after twenty?
The second one absentmindedly replies: "What?"
To which the first one angrily responds: "Twenty, Juan!"

An American and Australian are arguing over the spelling of 'jail'

Aussie says, 'Look mate, it's spelt G-A-O-L, that's the original correct spelling used by the English.'
The American looks over to their British buddy, 'Sort this out for us will ya, how did you learn to spell it?'
'A-U-S-T-R-A-L-I-A'.

Problems of language ( sorry for bad english)

Two Hungaryan policeman stops a car. The driver cant speak hungaryan so he tries to speak in english. The two policeman cant understan it and they just looking at the guy. Then the driver speaks to them in german, french, and a bunch of other languages. The policemen let him go. Then one of them says: Shouldnt we learn any languages? The other says: Why sould we? That guy knows so many languages but they still useless.

My friend told me that I should learn more languages

I reminded him that technically I speak English, Irish, Scottish, American and Australian in one.

A Russian man travels to the US without knowing any english

After leaving the airport, he sees a sign for a space center that says Take off!
Next, he sees a billboard for the zoo that says Zebra
Later that day he goes to a bar and is excited to use his newly learned words. When he gets into the bar he tells the waitress Take off ze bra!

In an elementary school English class, kids are learning the word contagious . Teacher calls on students, asking them to use it in a sentence.

- Susan?
- I had a flu and mommy made me stay home for 3 days because I was contagious!
- Very good. What about you, Johnny?
- Our neighbor Mrs. Henderson has started painting her fence last night, daddy says it's gonna take the contagious!

The best politicians did well in their English courses

Where do you think hey learned to lie about their positions?

While on a vacation in a foreign country, a man begins to drown in a lake

Suddenly, he sees two people walking by. He realises that he doesn't know the language.
"Help! Help!" he screams in English, to no reaction.
"Hilfe! Hilfe", he tries German. No reaction either.
" Socorro! Socorro!" he tries Spanish.
The people do nothing, so he drowns. As both passerby are walking away, one turns to another and says: "What do you think... should we learn another language?"
"Why? This guy spoke three languages and it didn't help him a bit"

I'm trying to learn English. They told me "I'm sorry" and "I apologize" mean the same thing, but I'm still confused.

Can anybody please tell me why the widow got mad at me at the f**...?

Four teachers are talking in the staffroom

The English teacher said: "I had a particularly dim pupil today ask me what came after 'F', I made sure be kind when I told him it was 'G'"
The music teacher replied with "I think I taught the same boy, he must've been confused when I told him that naturally F sharp came after F."
The computer science teacher chimed in with "Interestingly I told him that 1 came after F since we're learning hex at the moment"
The PE teacher after quietly listening in sheepishly admits "I told him it's okay, you can always train to teach gym".