Learn Jokes

157 learn jokes and hilarious learn puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about learn that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Ready to take your humor to the next level? Learn how to write jokes in smarter and more effective ways by exploring the topics of linguistics and humor. Discover the nuances of English language, learn Chinese and how to put it all together to create a joke. Get ready to become a connoisseur of comedy!

Funniest Learn Short Jokes

Short learn jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The learn humour may include short lesson jokes also.

  1. 'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.' 'But I never went to college.'
    'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'
  2. My neighbour's 4-year-old has been learning spanish since lockdown. He still can't say "please" though, which I think is poor for four.
  3. Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
  4. My 4-year-old has been learning Spanish all year and still can't say the word please Which I think is poor for four.
  5. I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything... It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
  6. I try to teach my mom something new everyday. Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.
  7. A police officer accidentally arrested a judge who was dressed like a convict for a costume party. He quickly learned to never book a judge by their cover
  8. I finally learned how to convert units to the metric system! It's a real 1.61kilometers6.35kilograms for me.
  9. When I was a kid I prayed every night for a new bicycle Then I learned the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness instead
  10. I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again. I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.

Share These Learn Jokes With Friends

Learn One Liners

Which learn one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with learn? I can suggest the ones about study and knowledge.

  1. I just read through six pages in a dictionary. I learned next to nothing.
  2. I just memorized six pages of the dictionary... I learned next to nothing.
  3. I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual.
  4. Why can't pirates learn the alphabet? Because they spend years at C.
  5. Braille isn't that hard to learn... You just have to get a feel for it
  6. Rule #1 for learning english Their our know rules!
  7. I was so bored that I memorized six pages of a dictionary. I learned next to nothing.
  8. When a bmw owner learns to drive... What kind of car do they switch to?
  9. Today I learned boiling water was really smart. It has like, 100 degree.
  10. Today i learned TIL that dyslexia is the same forward and backwards
  11. Today I learned that "wet Floor" signs… …are not a request…
  12. I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift. Thing is, I couldn't find a manual.
  13. Paranoids "You can learn alot about paranoids, just by following them around."
  14. Why did the American start shooting the river? He learned fish swim in schools
  15. I don't see the point in learning Braille. But I can feel it.

Learn English With Jokes

Here is a list of funny learn english with jokes and even better learn english with puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
  • Some say that the english language is hard to learn. But you can do it through tough, thorough thought though.
  • How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English? Dairy practice.
  • It is hard to understand English but you can learn it through tough thorough thought, though!
  • English is so easy to learn... You just need to remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.
  • My Middle Eastern dad has learned English from watching infomercials. So when I would get in trouble as a kid and get punished, he would finish by saying "But wait, there's more!"
  • Why is English considered the easiest language to learn? Because even the Americans are decent at it!
  • I wonder if stereotypically romantic Spanish in pauses...because they to speak watching...the subtitles...of romantic movies.
  • The Greek learned you could avoid pregnancies by using sheep intestines. The English later learned it also works if you remove it from the sheep first.
  • Learning English So a man and his wife decided to speak in English at home to improve their language skills.
    Her: Hunney, I'm going to rest a little bit.
    Him: Sure hunney, rest in peace.

Learn English Through Jokes

Here is a list of funny learn english through jokes and even better learn english through puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Guy moves to America, just learning English, gets cut off in traffic and yells 'E# Female Sheep' buddy in the car goes, um, no, it's f u
  • Sure, English is a hard language to learn. But it can definitely be understood through tough thorough thought though.
  • How did Kim Jong Un learn every word in the English dictionary in one day? He's the Supreme reader.
  • I finally learned what La Quinta means in English Behind Denny's
  • There's only 1 rule in learning English 1.) Their our know rules
  • English is difficult to learn. It can be taught through tough thorough thought, though.
  • I always thought my english grades were good But then in 6th grade, i learned the alphabet
  • Why is English such a hard language to learn? Because it's
  • Global bee population is drastically dwindling, what can they do to save themselves? Pretty simple. They need to learn English and say Let us bee!
  • The best politicians did well in their English courses Where do you think hey learned to lie about their positions?
Learn joke, The best politicians did well in their English courses

Learn To Write Jokes

Here is a list of funny learn to write jokes and even better learn to write puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A guy is off to America... And his friend says: Don't forget to write!!
    The guy says: I hope not! It took me a while to learn!
  • I just learned how to Draw Blood in Nursing school! It's real easy, you just need something that writes in red!
  • Helen Keller was truly an inspiration, She was able to learn how to read and write despite being from Alabama
  • In what class do you learn to write calligraphy? Language arts
  • Learning to write jokes is like when you first start having s**...... You think it's easy and it's gonna make people happy but you end up just leaving people feeling confused and disappointed

Learn Chinese Jokes

Here is a list of funny learn chinese jokes and even better learn chinese puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What are the two biggest fears of Russian military? That the Chinese learn how to fight like the Finns, or that the Finns learn how to breed like the Chinese.
  • My friend proposed to his girlfriend She is Chinese. So he learned to ask her in Mandarin. When she answered, he stared at her blankly.
    He forgot to learn the words "yes" & "no".
  • A chinese father tells his 7 year old son he's adopted His son replies: it's ok daddy I learned this in school already! 2 wongs don't make a white.
  • I've been learning Chinese for a long time... Since I was ni hou to a grasshopper
  • If Danny Rand learned Chinese at the monastery... Does that make him a K'un-Lun Linguist?
  • What is the Russian army generals worst nightmare? That Finns learn to reproduce like the Chinese, or that the Chinese learn to reproduce like Finns
  • So I decided to learn Chinese... I learned there's no word for "squint"
Learn joke, So I decided to learn Chinese...

Heartwarming Learn Jokes that Make You Laugh

What funny jokes about learn you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skills jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make learn pranks.

What does every frenchmen learn in first grade of school? (sorry France)

How to surrender in 6 different languages.

Twice a Day

This guy goes to his doctor "You gotta help me. I can't stop having s**...." "How often do you have it?" The doc asks "Well, twice a day with my wife." The doc says "That's no to bad." The guy says "Yeah, but that's not all, I also have s**... with my secretary, twice a day." The doc says "That's a bit excessive."" and I have s**... with a p**..., twice a day" "That is definitely too much. You got to learn to take this situation in hand."
"I do," says the man "Twice a Day

My Favorite Math Joke

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.

I'm in love with a blind woman...

I want to be with her, but I need to learn to mimic her husband's voice first.

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could learn to drive.
Courtesy of the movie "Man on the Moon".

After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again.

How to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself and how to not argue with me at the top of the stairs again.

Voltaire said To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize. I guess my granddaddy was right when he said that r**... run this country.

I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test...

...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."
The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.
Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

A doctor goes to confession...

"Forgive me father for I have sinned."
The priest replies, "Tell me your sins my child."
The doctor says, "I slept with five of my patients. I know it was wrong, not mention unethical. Since it happened, I've barely been able to sleep and I have no appetite. I feel so guilty."
The priest consoles him saying, "You must learn to forgive yourself."
The man replies, "But how can I? How can I return from this sin?"
The priest says, "You're not the first doctor to sleep with a patient and you won't be last."
The man nods in consent while the priest absolves him. As they exit the confessional, the priest looks at the doctor and says, "I hate to ask, but seeing as you're a doctor, do you think that you could take a look at my t**..., it's been sore for days."
The man replies, "I'd love to father, but I'm not that type of doctor. I'm a veterinarian."

why don't spiders go to school..

Because they learn everything on web.
i know i s**... at jokes.

We learned about the orbitals of an atom today...

It was pretty Bohring.
I'll let myself out.

How did the violinist learn to play violin?

He just started fiddling with it.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers.

And you can keep me as a reference.

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because Somalia doesn't have an education system

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..

Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young p**... Juan".

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and says to the houseowner, "We don't know what to say, we've never made it this far."

A Dad picks his son up from school

Dad: what did you learn at school today, son?
Son: apparently not enough, I have to go back tomorrow.

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."
"I want a dragon."
"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"
"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."
"...what color dragon do you want?"

Why can't Buddhists learn binary code?

Because they are at one with everything.

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!
[ I'm^so^sorry ]

What I learned from small crosses placed along the roadside with flowers.

Christians are horrible drivers.

I hear that you're supposed to learn from your mistakes

Probably why I'm an only child.

What is the purpose of war?

"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain

An infinite number of math mathematicians walk into a bar.

The first orders 1 beer. The second orders 1/2 beer. The third orders 1/4 beer. The next orders 1/8 beer. Visibly frustrated the bartender slams 2 beers on the table and says "Guys, you need to learn your limits!"

Why don't communists ever learn?

Because there are no classes.

Where does a Muslim learn to swim?

Inshallah water.

You know why Trump fans are called Trumpettes?

You only have to learn how to press three b**..., and then you can play 'em all day.

I learned a few things today.

1. I'm gonna be a dad!
2. I'm gonna be an uncle!
3. My sisters not on the pill.

So I just learned how to read Braille...

I just had to get a feel for it

I am learning so much from my children.

As every great man learns from his mistakes.

Hi I'm Bill Gates! Today we're gonna learn how to count to 10.

1.01,1.02, 1.03, 1.04, 2.03, 2.10, 2.11, 3, 3.1, 3.2, 95, 98, 2000, ME, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.

After s**... with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.
Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.

First Day At School

The child comes home from his first day at school.
His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"
The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first says, I'll have a beer. The second says, I'll have half a beer. The third says, I'll have a quarter of a beer. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. Come on, now, he says to the group, You guys have got to learn your limits.

I came home today to find my sister watching an action movie.

She told me she was watching it to learn how to fight. The next day I came home and she was watching a romantic comedy. She told me she was watching it to learn how to love. The day after that I came home and as I arrived there was a pizza delivery guy leaving the house. When I walked inside my sister told me she found a movie under my bed.

Learning to pick locks

really opened a lot of doors for me

My girlfriend told me I'm bad in bed

I told her she should learn to enjoy the little things in life

How many fat activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don't conform to its standards.

Mike joins a new school.

After school is over he returns home to his mother.
Mom: So Mike, how was your day today?
Mike: It was great! We learned about explosive materials in our lab today.
Mom: That sounds interesting, so what will you learn in school tomorrow?
Mike: What school?

My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...

He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."
Graduated top of his class...

The Winter Olympics.

Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

I was browsing Craigslist the other day, when I came across someone who wanted to learn how to make macaroni.

Being a master macaroni maker myself, I responded to his offer, and we set up a time and place to meet so I could teach him. When we met up, he took one look at me, and he told me that I didn't look like someone who could even make halfway decent macaroni. "Sir", I assured him, "I promise I'm a master of my Kraft."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second orders half a pint, the third orders a quarter pint. The bartender interrupts them, You guys need to learn your limits. Two pints, coming right up!

Learn how to avoid clickbait!!!

Don't do what you just did!

Two men are waiting for appointments with their insurance claims adjuster.

They chat and learn they have a common bond. The first one says "My restaurant was wiped out by a fire, everything inside was wrecked."
The second one says "Mine was taken out by a flood, total loss too."
The first one thinks a bit then asks "How do you start a flood?"

If you want to learn about the religious influence of Shrek, open your bible to Psalm

body once told me...

What do you call someone who helps you learn to f**...?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

A bass player joke.

A dad gets his son a bass and lessons for his birthday. When the son comes home from his first lesson dad asks, " what did you learn at your first bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4...5 notes on the E string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your second bass lesson son?"
"Well dad, I learned the first 1..2..3..4..5 notes on the A string!"
"That's great son!"
The next week rolls around.
"What did you learn at your third bass lesson son?"
"I blew it off I had a gig."

A rich couple lost all their money and was trying to think of ways to restore their fortunes.

The husband says to the wife if you learn to cook, we could get rid of the housekeeper
She laughed and replied if you learned to please me in bed, we could get rid of the gardener


Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:
1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water
The next day, the teacher shows the results:
The 1st worm in beer, dead.
The 2nd in wine, dead.
The 3rd in whiskey, dead.
The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.
The teacher asks the class:
- What do we learn from this experience?
And a child responds:
- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.

If you know nothing about constellations at least learn Ursa Minor

...that's the bear minimum.

I just learned how to lock pick

Its opened so many doors for me

Huge shoutout to everyone who helped me learn the definition of 'many'.

It means a lot!

My girlfriend asked me to choke her and hit her during s**... but it makes me feel guilty.

I'm joining the police academy to learn how to a**... and choke someone without being guilty.

Voltaire said To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize.

It's time we rise up against those kids with leukemia

Husband: You should learn to embrace your mistakes.

\*Wife gives him a tight hug immediately\*

Don't know if this has been posted here but let's try

Little Johnny came home and ran to his mother.
"Mummy! I was on the bus with Daddy and he made me stand up so a woman could sit down."
"Well...How kind of your daddy! You should learn from him."
Johnny then frowned.
"I was sitting on Daddy's lap"

I made this joke up on the way home from work, sorry if it s**...: A history teacher tells a failing student that those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Student: But history is so boring!
Teacher: Well, if you don't do better you'll be retaking it next year.
Student: What??
Teacher: I TOLD you, those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it!

I just learned that 'amused' and 'bemused' don't mean the same thing.

At first I laughed, but now I don't know what to think!

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.
She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok
Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.
Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds

Interviewer: Your resume says you take things too literally.

Me: When the h**... did my resume learn to talk?

I learned today that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands. Same thing with the v**... Islands... canaries there either.

For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...

...and pays for 5 lessons.
After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly.
After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?"
"I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says.
After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.
"Where the h**... have you been?" Dad demands.
"Sorry dad, I had a gig!"

I took me forever to learn what Tl;dr meant.

All the explanations were too long; so I didn't read them.

Cats can learn up to 50 different words and commands

They just don't want to

A man walks into a doctor's office and panicks..

Man: "Doctor, I'm shrinking!"
Doctor: "Well, sir you will have to learn to be a little patient."

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

Son asks his father for a gift

Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday
Dad: - What do you want Son
Son: - I need a Bitcoin
Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job

Learn joke, Son asks his father for a gift

jokes about learn