The Best 73 Learn Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Learn jokes. There are some learn things we learn from our mother jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these learn learn chinese puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 Funniest Learn Jokes and Puns

'Forget everything you learned in college. You won't need it working here.'

'But I never went to college.'
'Well then, I'm sorry. You are underqualified to work here.'

Paranoids

"You can learn alot about paranoids, just by following them around."

My Favorite Math Joke

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one tells the bartender he wants a beer. The second one orders half a beer. The third one orders a fourth of a beer. The bartender puts two beers on the bar and says You guys need to learn your limits.

Why did the Siamese twins move to England?

So the other one could learn to drive.

Courtesy of the movie "Man on the Moon".

jokes about learn

After almost a year in a coma my wife is having to learn the basics again.

How to walk, how to talk, how to feed herself and how to not argue with me at the top of the stairs again.


I was surprised to learn my kid failed the road driving test...

...she Tweeted three times that it seem to be going well.

How I learned to miknd my own business:

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were yelling "13...13...13..."

The fence was too high for me to see over but I saw a little gap in the planks, so I looked through to see what was going on.

Someone poked me in the eye with a stick and then they all started shouting "14... 14... 14..."!

Learn joke, How I learned to miknd my own business:

why don't spiders go to school..

Because they learn everything on web.

:(

i know i suck at jokes.

I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift.

But I couldn't find a manual.

How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?

You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist scum. Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.

I try to teach my mom something new everyday.

Because you're supposed to learn from your mistakes.

You can explore learn explore reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean learn learning chinese dad jokes. There are also learn puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


If you ever need help learning C++, I can give you some pointers.

And you can keep me as a reference.

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

Because they spend years at C.

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar...

The first mathematician orders a beer. The second mathematician orders half a beer. The third mathematician orders a quarter of a beer. The fourth mathematician orders an eighth of a beer. Before the next one can speak, the rather annoyed bartender slams two beers down on the bar and says, "You guys really need to learn your limits!"

An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..

Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young Paddy Juan".

Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

The house owner opens the door. "Good morning, would you like to learn about God today?" The houseowner was a little bored, and slightly curious, so he lets them in. They slowly enter, and sit down on the couch across from the houseowner. After a few seconds of silence, the houseowner asks, "Well?" The Jehovah's Witnesses look at each other and says to the houseowner, "We don't know what to say, we've never made it this far."

Learn joke, Two Jehovah's Witnesses knock on someone's door

A Dad picks his son up from school

Dad: what did you learn at school today, son?

Son: apparently not enough, I have to go back tomorrow.

A man throws a dollar coin into a wishing well...

and a genie pops out. The genie tells him "You have thrown the largest money value into this well since it has been built. You may have one wish."

"I want a dragon."

"Are you sure? That's... pretty big, and would probably give me away. Anything else?"

"I want to learn how to fold a fitted sheet."

"...what color dragon do you want?"

Why can't Buddhists learn binary code?

Because they are at one with everything.


I definitely learned my lesson about speeding today and it will never happen again.

I didn't get pulled over or anything, I just showed up to work 20 minutes early.

Why couldn't the pirate learn the alphabet?

Because he was always lost at C!

[ I'm^so^sorry ]

I hear that you're supposed to learn from your mistakes

Probably why I'm an only child.

What is the purpose of war?

"God created War so that Americans would learn Geography" - Mark Twain

Why don't communists ever learn?

Because there are no classes.

Where does a Muslim learn to swim?

Inshallah water.

You know why Trump fans are called Trumpettes?

You only have to learn how to press three buttons, and then you can play 'em all day.

Learn joke, You know why Trump fans are called Trumpettes?

I learned a few things today.

1. I'm gonna be a dad!
2. I'm gonna be an uncle!
3. My sisters not on the pill.

I am learning so much from my children.

As every great man learns from his mistakes.

I spent four years at college and didn't learn anything...

It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.


It is hard to understand English

but you can learn it through tough thorough thought, though!

Hi I'm Bill Gates! Today we're gonna learn how to count to 10.

1.01,1.02, 1.03, 1.04, 2.03, 2.10, 2.11, 3, 3.1, 3.2, 95, 98, 2000, ME, XP, Vista, 7, 8, 8.1, 10.

After sex with my new girlfriend last night she snuggled up next to me and said, "You are definitely the biggest I've ever had."

Apparently "ditto" wasn't the correct response.

Thanks for the updates friends, I just don't know how people get those yellowish stars and would really like to learn.
[edit] Thank you for the gold kind stranger.

First Day At School

The child comes home from his first day at school.

His Mother asks, "Well, what did you learn today?"

The kid replies, "Not enough. They want me to come back tomorrow."

An infinite amount of mathematicians walk into a bar

The first says, I'll have a beer. The second says, I'll have half a beer. The third says, I'll have a quarter of a beer. Before anyone else can speak, the barman fills up exactly two glasses of beer and serves them. Come on, now, he says to the group, You guys have got to learn your limits.


Braille isn't that hard to learn...

You just have to get a feel for it

My girlfriend told me I'm bad in bed

I told her she should learn to enjoy the little things in life

How many fat activists does it take to change a lightbulb?

The lightbulb is beautiful the way it is. Society needs to change and learn to accept and stop shaming lightbulbs that don't conform to its standards.

My buddy signed up for one of those, "learn to be a plumber in 6 weeks" courses you see on TV and his final exam was at 9am today...

He showed up at 3pm, looked at the test paper and said, "Looks like I'm gonna need a pen for this job. I'll have to pop round to my suppliers for one. Be right back."

Graduated top of his class...

The Winter Olympics.

Letting white people win at sports no one else can afford to learn.

I was browsing Craigslist the other day, when I came across someone who wanted to learn how to make macaroni.

Being a master macaroni maker myself, I responded to his offer, and we set up a time and place to meet so I could teach him. When we met up, he took one look at me, and he told me that I didn't look like someone who could even make halfway decent macaroni. "Sir", I assured him, "I promise I'm a master of my Kraft."

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a pint, the second orders half a pint, the third orders a quarter pint. The bartender interrupts them, You guys need to learn your limits. Two pints, coming right up!

Learn how to avoid clickbait!!!

Don't do what you just did!

What do you call someone who helps you learn to fart?

A Tooter (my 9yo daughter made it up)

Worms

Four earthworms are placed in four separate test tubes:

1st in beer
2nd in wine
3rd in whiskey
4th in mineral water

The next day, the teacher shows the results:

The 1st worm in beer, dead.

The 2nd in wine, dead.

The 3rd in whiskey, dead.

The 4th in mineral water, alive and healthy.

The teacher asks the class:

- What do we learn from this experience?

And a child responds:

- Whoever drinks beer, wine and whiskey, does not have worms.

I just learned how to lock pick

Its opened so many doors for me

How do Japanese people learn to say milk in English?

Dairy practice.

My girlfriend asked me to choke her and hit her during sex but it makes me feel guilty.

I'm joining the police academy to learn how to abuse and choke someone without being guilty.

Don't know if this has been posted here but let's try

Little Johnny came home and ran to his mother.

"Mummy! I was on the bus with Daddy and he made me stand up so a woman could sit down."

"Well...How kind of your daddy! You should learn from him."

Johnny then frowned.

"I was sitting on Daddy's lap"

I just learned that 'amused' and 'bemused' don't mean the same thing.

At first I laughed, but now I don't know what to think!

So there was this kid who was lazy and couldnt wake up early..

His mom wanted to teach him a lesson about the benefits of waking up early.

She said: Son, i am going to tell you a little story and then i want you to tell me what did you learn from it ok?

Son: Ok

Mom: imagine two birds. First bird always wakes up early and can find bugs to feed himself and his family. The second bird wakes up late everyday and cant find anything to eat. So what did you learn from this.

Son: i learned that the bugs that wake up early gets eaten by birds

Interviewer: Your resume says you take things too literally.

Me: When the hell did my resume learn to talk?

I learned today that there are no canaries in the Canary Islands. Same thing with the Virgin Islands...

...no canaries there either.

For son's birthday, Dad buys him a bass guitar...

...and pays for 5 lessons.

After the first lesson, the boy gets home and Dad asks "What did you learn today?"

"I learned the first 5 notes on the E string." the son says proudly.

After the second lesson, the dad asks "What did you learn this time?"

"I learned the first 5 notes on the A string." the boy says.

After the third lesson, the Dad waits at home for what seems like hours. Around 2am, the son finally comes home, smelling of whiskey and cigarettes.

"Where the hell have you been?" Dad demands.

"Sorry dad, I had a gig!"

Some say that the english language is hard to learn.

But you can do it through tough, thorough thought though.

I really wish people would start taking Covid more seriously...

I don't wanna have to learn the entire Greek alphabet.

Son asks his father for a gift

Son: - Dad I need a gift for my birthday

Dad: - What do you want Son

Son: - I need a Bitcoin

Dad: - What?? Why do you need $ 35K for?? You know how difficult it is to earn $ 25K dollars?? You will learn difficulty of earning $ 40K when you get a job

I wanted to learn to drive a stick shift.

Thing is, I couldn't find a manual.

I've never learned the entire alphabet. I just know 25 of the 26 letters.

I've never known wh

Got the whole ice cream shop with this one:

While I was out with the family getting ice cream, the crowded shop had one of those awkward moments where everyone randomly goes quiet all at the same time - just as the confectioner handed me my ice cream.

I proceeded to ask Where does someone learn to make ice cream this good?

Confectioner - I'm not sure… the morning crew makes the batches

Did they learn at sundae school???

I could not have been prouder with the chorus of groans and chuckles that rang throughout the shop.

I've learned that "Chicken Kiev" is a misnomer

There's nothing chicken about them.

English is so easy to learn...

You just need to remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme, but read and lead don't rhyme and neither do read and lead.

Why can't pirates learn the alphabet?

You would think they have a hard time with R, but it's actually because they always get lost at C

I never learned proper grammar because of the accident.

I was in a comma.

People are shocked to learn I'm not an electrician.

Shocked.

My friend wanted me to meet someone so I could learn about the metric system.

I said I didn't want to meter.

Learning photography is hard.

Last week I got kicked out of a photography workshop for indecent exposure.

Life saving

A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him. "Why do we have to learn this stuff? " the frustrated student blurted out. "To save lives," the professor responded before continuing the lecture. A few minutes later the student spoke up again. "So how does physics save lives? "The professor stared at the student without saying a word. "Physics saves lives," he finally continued, "because it keeps the idiots out of medical school. "

A Russian and an American get on a plane in Moscow and get to talking.

The Russian says he works for the Kremlin and he's on his way to go learn American propaganda techniques.

"What American propaganda techniques?" asks the American.

"Exactly," the Russian replies.

I know we're all supposed to be tolerant of people from other cultures, but is it too much to ask that Asian waiters learn that all Caucasians don't look alike? My waiter just served my food to some other customer!

Wait. Never mind. That wasn't my waiter.

A father picks his son up from school and tells him "Today we're gonna go to the forest and learn some survival."

The son asks "Cool! How long will we be there?"

The father replies: "I don't know, I just gambled the house away."

Where do manta rays learn to read?

In elemantaray school.

I wanted to learn how to fly a plane...

But I realised I was in the wrong class when the professor said this will be a crash course in flight!




(Sorry if it's a bit dad joke-ish I tried to write my own joke but chances are it's been told before)

I said to my gym teacher

How often would I have to come in here to learn to do the splits. He said it depends how flexible are you? I said well I can't do mondays.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the learn discover jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working learn learn abcs piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes