Leapt Jokes
4 leapt jokes and hilarious leapt puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leapt that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Cheerful Fun Leapt Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What is a good leapt joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
The wife's weight gain, through overeating and laziness, had become the final straw in an already strained relationship and I decided I would just have to kill her.
I hid in the kitchen, knowing it wouldn't be long before she turned up looking to raid the fridge. And sure enough, she soon came waddling in.
I leapt out from behind a cupboard, arm raised, brandishing a huge knife..
"OH MY GOD!!" She screamed at the top of her lungs. "Are we having cake?"
A man boards a plane and, to his surprise, finds the pope in the seat next to him...
Shortly after takeoff, the pope opens the newspaper and starts working on the crossword puzzle. Almost immediately the pope turns to the man and says, Execuse me, do you know a four-letter word that ends in 'unt' and refers to a woman?
Just one word leapt to mind, an extremely v**... one. The man thinks to himself, I can't suggest *that* word to the pope. There must be another word . . .
Then it hits him. He turns to the pope and says, I think the word you're looking for is 'aunt.'
Of course! Exclaims the pope. I don't suppose you have an eraser?
Todd sat behind Claire in Sunday school
The teacher asked the class 'Who created the universe?'
Todd poked Claire with his pencil and she jumped up yelling 'GOD ALMIGHTY!'
'Correct Claire'
The class goes on for a few minutes and the teacher asks 'Now, can anyone tell me who died on the cross?'
Todd poked Claire again and she leapt up and shouted 'JESUS CHRIST!'
'Correct again Claire'
And the class continues until the teacher asks a third question
'What did Eve say to Adam after they had their 23rd child?'
Again Todd poked Claire, and she yelled out
'I SWEAR IF YOU POKE THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO SNAP IT IN HALF!'
The doctor and the bunny (clean)
A doctor is driving home one dark and stormy night. A few yards ahead, a rabbit bolts out from the forest. Try as he may, the doctor couldn't stop in time and he struck the rabbit.
An animal lover, the good doctor leapt from the car to see if he could help the little guy. But the rabbit was not responsive. He ran back to the car to get his medical bag, but then realized that he was driving his wife's car, and so his bag would not be there. He reached into the glove box and pulled out what he thought was a bottle of water.
Returning to the bunny, he carefully lifted its little head and helped it sip from the bottle. To his amazement, the bunny sprang back to life. The bunny gave him a big wave and then hopped off. It stopped a few feet away and then waved again. Bounding up the hill, once again the little bunny waved. Astonished by the remarkable recovery, the doctor looked at bottle in his hand and read the label out loud, Hair restorer with permanent wave.
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