Leap Jokes

60 leap jokes and hilarious leap puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about leap that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud during this collection of the best jokes about leaps. From the humorous to the witty, get ready to explore jokes from quantum leaps, leap years, leap of faith, leap tests, skips, canyons, and trampolines today!

Funniest Leap Short Jokes

Short leap jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leap humour may include short jumps jokes also.

  1. Elon Musk lands on mars and steps out of his spaceship ### "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says the ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
  2. Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship "It's a small step for a man, but a giant leap for mankind," says ground control officer and cuts off all communications.
  3. Late one night in the USSR there is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door.

    'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.'
  4. When you have a pet rock Friend: What are you doing?
    Me: Training my pet rock
    Friend: That's dumb
    Pet Rock: *leaps from my hand & hits him in the face*
    Me: No Rocky, No!
  5. A Physics student is standing on the roof of a building preparing to leap to his death.... His professor calls out to him, "Stop! You have so much potential!"
  6. We should add a leap second to December 31st 2020 Just to make people watching the live clock think for a split second that the year will never end
  7. Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat? He didn't get a good knight's leap.
    Wakka wakka!
  8. I told my daughter to be sensible before her eighteenth birthday party. She said, "You are only eighteen once!"
    I said, "'re eighteen 365 times, unless it's a leap year."
  9. 2020 is a unique leap year... It has 29 days in February.
    300 days in March.
    And 5 years in April.
  10. I'm looking for a girl who loves Leap Day Cuz that means she appreciates things which only come once every four years

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Leap One Liners

Which leap one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leap? I can suggest the ones about leopard and hopping.

  1. One small step for man, one giant leap for midgets.
  2. With next year having a leap day... which day will my Office 365 not work?
  3. You know why the iPhone X is the biggest leap forward ever? Because they skipped 9.
  4. Why did we leap from 2k to 4k resolution? Because 3k is racist.
  5. Only one in four frogs is a leap frog...
  6. What do you call a frog making leaps and bounds? Frogress
    (just made this up)
  7. Can a ninja scale a wall in a single leap? Shuriken.
  8. A suicidal bee is about to leap. To bee or not to bee.
  9. What do you call a French pole vaulter? A Leap Frog
  10. How does a one-legged Chinese man walk? He takes a great leap forward.
  11. During what year do most suicides occur? Leap Year
  12. If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days? A light year
  13. Where is the best place to eat on a leap day? IHOP
  14. 2016 is almost coming to an end Surprise MFs. I have a leap second added to me.
  15. I've been practicing my parkour skills... I've come leaps and bounds.

Leap Year Jokes

Here is a list of funny leap year jokes and even better leap year puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Science is progressing in leaps and bounds. In 20 years... ...we'll definitely have better smartphones.
  • I've only met a few people with birthdays on leap year day. They were all mature for their age.
  • 2020 is a leap year and it leaped right into some b**...

Leap Day Jokes

Here is a list of funny leap day jokes and even better leap day puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is Tigger's favorite day? Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second.
Leap joke, What is Tigger's favorite day?

Leap Mankind Jokes

Here is a list of funny leap mankind jokes and even better leap mankind puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When neil Armstrong landed on the moon and said "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind" What he really said was..." there's no way a cow can jump over this!"
  • Did you see the space jump? It was a giant leap for man, and a small step for mankind.
Leap joke, Did you see the space jump?

Giggle-Inducing Leap Jokes for Joyful Times with Friends

What funny jokes about leap you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean jump lead jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leap pranks.

RIP Neil Armstrong

When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "o**... s**...? o**... s**... you want? You'll get o**... s**... when the kid next door walks on the moon!"

A girl was about to jump off a cliff...

A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have s**... with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."

Why do so many Chinese think the Great Leap Forward was bad?

Because millions died of Maonurishment

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum

There were these two guys in a lunatic asylum...and one night they decide they don't like living in an asylum any more. They decide they're going to escape. So, like, they get up to the roof, and there, just across this narrow gap they see the rooftops of the town, stretching away in the moonlight. Stretching away to freedom. Now the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend dare not make the leap. You see he's afraid of falling. So then the first guy has an idea. He says "Hey! I have a flashlight with me. I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!" But the second guy just shakes his head. He says "What do you think I am? CRAZY? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!"

Why did the Chinese kangaroo turn red?

Because it was making a Great Leap Forward.

A man was about to jump off a cliff...

...and before he jumped he said, "I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"
I think he took a leap of faith.

Disturbing Pattern of Suicides

When some scientists plotted the number of suicides per year, they discovered a curious pattern. Every four years, there would be a spike in the number.
This baffled them, until the old janitor said: "Perhaps it was not a good idea to call them leap years."

A frog can leap higher than a house

..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.

From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...

The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout b**... BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"

A physicist goes to the top of the empire state building and sees a man about to leap to his death

He runs up to him and says, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Relieved, the man climbs off the edge and follows the physicist down to the street. The physicist then looks at him again and says: "ah... Never mind".

A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.

This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.

My wife wants a baby, she asked how motile my s**... is.

I replied "I'm not sure, but I've seen it leap over a laptop"

Did You Hear About the Duquesne Running Back?

His 40 yard dash was only 4:30 but his vertical leap was 16 stories.

Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?

Well it's true and here's why.
When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. 'Jump' I'd shout and with a boing he'd leap into the air.
Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!
I was heartbroken. 'Jump' I'd shout and the spider would just sit there. Not only had he lost his legs, he'd gone deaf too.

A few bananas are planning a heist

Right before they leap into action, they decide to run through the process again so all bananas know what they're doing.
Firstly, two bananas will be creating a distraction a distance away from the heist. Then, the rest of the bananas will scatter to confuse the enemy and start the heist.
After going through the process a few more times, the bananas are certain that they know what to do, and thus a couple bananas peel off and the rest of the bananas split.

Leap joke, Elon Musk lands on Mars and steps out of his spaceship

jokes about leap