The Best 35 Leap Jokes
Following is our collection of funniest Leap jokes. There are some leap skydive jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these leap edge puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Funny Leap Jokes and Puns
RIP Neil Armstrong
When Apollo Mission Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous "One small step for man; one giant leap for mankind" statement, but followed it by several remarks, including the usual COM traffic between him, the other astronauts, and Mission Control. Before he re-entered the lander, he made the enigmatic remark "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky."
Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, [they found] there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.
Over the years, many people have questioned him as to what the "Good luck, Mr. Gorsky" statement meant. On July 5, in Tampa Bay, FL, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26- year-old question to Armstrong. He finally responded. It seems that Mr. Gorsky had died and so Armstrong felt he could answer the question. When he was a kid, Neil was playing baseball with his brother in the backyard. His brother hit a fly ball which landed in front of his neighbors' bedroom window. The neighbors were Mr. and Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, he heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky, "Oral sex? Oral sex you want? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
How does a one-legged Chinese man walk?
He takes a great leap forward.
A girl was about to jump off a cliff...
A girl was about to jump off a cliff to end her life. Just as she was about to leap to her death, a homeless man approached from behind and shouted to ask her a question,
"Excuse me miss! Before you jump would you like to have sex with me?"
The woman replied angrily, "No I most certainly would not! How dare you try and take advantage of me in a situation like this!"
The homeless responded, "Very well then, I'll just wait for you to get to the bottom."
Why do so many Chinese think the Great Leap Forward was bad?
Because millions died of Maonurishment
Why did the Chinese kangaroo turn red?
Because it was making a Great Leap Forward.
What do you call a French pole vaulter?
A Leap Frog
A man was about to jump off a cliff...
...and before he jumped he said, "I'm doing this for Jesus Christ!"
I think he took a leap of faith.
Why was Sir Lancelot too tired to jump over the moat?
He didn't get a good knight's leap.
Wakka wakka!
With next year having a leap day...
which day will my Office 365 not work?
Disturbing Pattern of Suicides
When some scientists plotted the number of suicides per year, they discovered a curious pattern. Every four years, there would be a spike in the number.
This baffled them, until the old janitor said: "Perhaps it was not a good idea to call them leap years."
A Physics student is standing on the roof of a building preparing to leap to his death....
His professor calls out to him, "Stop! You have so much potential!"
You can explore leap trampoline reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean leap leapt dad jokes. There are also leap puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Where is the best place to eat on a leap day?
IHOP
Can a ninja scale a wall in a single leap?
Shuriken.
A frog can leap higher than a house
..partly because of the strength of its hind legs, but also because houses have difficulty jumping at all.
2016 is almost coming to an end
Surprise MFs. I have a leap second added to me.
From the Gallipoli campaign in World War I...
The Australians are interrogating a captured Turkish soldier, when finally poor Mehmet has a question for them.
"Why do you call God such awful names? Why do you curse Him when your soldiers go into battle?"
The Aussies were surprised. "What do you mean?"
"Well, when we Turks leap out of our trenches and charge your lines, we cry 'Allah! Allah!' But when you charge us, you shout 'Bloody BASTAAARRRDD!!!'"
A suicidal bee is about to leap.
To bee or not to bee.
If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days?
A light year
You know why the iPhone X is the biggest leap forward ever?
Because they skipped 9.
A physicist goes to the top of the empire state building and sees a man about to leap to his death
He runs up to him and says, "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
Relieved, the man climbs off the edge and follows the physicist down to the street. The physicist then looks at him again and says: "ah... Never mind".
I'm looking for a girl who loves Leap Day
Cuz that means she appreciates things which only come once every four years
A particular species of frog, found in South American rainforests, has been observed to leap higher than a 1 story house.
This is due to the extremely powerful hind legs of the frog, and the fact that houses cannot leap.
One small step for man,
one giant leap for midgets.
Only one in four frogs
is a leap frog...
My wife wants a baby, she asked how motile my sperm is.
I replied "I'm not sure, but I've seen it leap over a laptop"
During what year do most suicides occur?
Leap Year
Did You Hear About the Duquesne Running Back?
His 40 yard dash was only 4:30 but his vertical leap was 16 stories.
I've only met a few people with birthdays on leap year day.
They were all mature for their age.
I told my daughter to be sensible before her eighteenth birthday party.
She said, "You are only eighteen once!"
I said, "No...you're eighteen 365 times, unless it's a leap year."
2020 is a unique leap year...
It has 29 days in February.
300 days in March.
And 5 years in April.
2020 is a leap year
and it leaped right into some bullshit
When neil Armstrong landed on the moon and said "one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind"
What he really said was..." there's no way a cow can jump over this!"
Why did we leap from 2k to 4k resolution?
Because 3k is racist.
Did you know spiders go deaf if they have no legs?
Well it's true and here's why.
When I was a child I had a pet a spider. It was great I even trained him to jump. 'Jump' I'd shout and with a boing he'd leap into the air.
Well my brother saw this and in a jealous rage he pulled the spiders legs off!
I was heartbroken. 'Jump' I'd shout and the spider would just sit there. Not only had he lost his legs, he'd gone deaf too.
We should add a leap second to December 31st 2020
Just to make people watching the live clock think for a split second that the year will never end
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the leap hoop jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working leap ledge piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.