Leap Day Jokes
17 leap day jokes and hilarious leap day puns to laugh out loud. Read holiday jokes about leap day that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Leap Day Short Jokes
Short leap day jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The leap day humour may include short leap year jokes also.
- 2020 is a unique leap year... It has 29 days in February.
300 days in March.
And 5 years in April. - I'm looking for a girl who loves Leap Day Cuz that means she appreciates things which only come once every four years
- I've only met a few people with birthdays on leap year day. They were all mature for their age.
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Leap Day One Liners
Which leap day one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with leap day? I can suggest the ones about leap seconds and earth day.
- With next year having a leap day... which day will my Office 365 not work?
- If a leap year has 366 days, what do you call a year with 365 days? A light year
- Where is the best place to eat on a leap day? IHOP
- What is Tigger's favorite day? Leap Day, but Spring Forward is a close second.
Leap Day Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.
What funny jokes about leap day you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean pi day jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make leap day pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Quaker home defense
one night john had come home for the day, exhausted from being plain and keeping thoughts to himself and went straight to bed. During the night someone broke in and this roused him from his sleep. leaping into action john grabbed his musket and charged downstairs. upon meeting the robber he leveled his musket and yelled
"friend I don't mean to alarm you but you're standing between me and where I want to shoot"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Theory of Jumping Fleas
A lunatic asylum inmate amused himself by placing the pet flea on his left hand and on the command "Jump, Freddie, jump", the insect would leap to his right hand.
This game helped the poor man to pass away the mindless hours but one day he produced a tiny pair of scissors and proceeded to cut off Freddie the Flea's legs. He then placed his truncated pet on his hand and gave the familiar command but to no avail.
And then raising his voice he shouted "Jump, Freddie, jump!" but still the flea remained in his left hand.
'There you are,' cried the man triumphantly. 'That proves my theory, you cut off their legs they go deaf.'
Two men escape an asylum
Two men are in a mental asylum. One day they decide to escape and find there way on the roof. On the roof, just across this narrow gap, they see the rooftops that stretch away to freedom. Now, the first guy, he jumps right across with no problem. But his friend, his friend did not dare make the leap. His friend was afraid of falling. So then, the first guy got an idea. He says 'Hey! I have my flashlight with me! I'll shine it across the gap between the buildings. You can walk along the beam and join me!' But the second guy just shakes his head. He says 'Wh-what do you think I am? Crazy? You'd turn it off when I was half way across!'
A homeless man goes to a fortune teller...
A homeless man who spends his days street performing on an old guitar for some loose change decides to spend the money on a fortune teller one day.
The fortune teller tells the homeless man that she has good news and bad news for him. The homeless asks to hear the good news first.
She begins to tell the man about his after-life. She tells him that he will meet Elvis and John Lennon in the after-life, and that the three of them together are going to be the next top hit band.
The homeless man leaps from joy, realizing his experience with the old guitar has aided him well. Having already thanked the fortune teller and shook her hand, he pauses for a moment on his way out to turn around say, "Oh yeah, I forgot to ask you what the bad news was?."
"Auditions are tomorrow."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An italian, a scot, and a chinese man start their first day working at a construction site...
...so, for their first task, their boss shows them this enormous pile of sand, and tells them they need to move it from point A to point B in two hours.
"You," says the boss, pointing to the italian, "will shovel the sand."
"You," he says to the scot, "will sweep after him."
"and you," he says to the chinese man, "will be in charge of keeping the supplies in check."
The boss comes back, two hours later, and the pile of sand hasn't budged.
"What happened?" he asks.
"The chinese man ran off with the supplies, and we couldn't find him!" the italian and scot both say.
"Seriously?" the boss says.
The boss then approaches the pile of sand, when the chinese man leaps out of it and says "**SUPPLIES!**"
(If you didn't get it, say the last sentence out loud.)
A day at the construction site
An Italian, a Scotsman and a Chinese man, are hired at a construction site. The foreman points out a huge pile of sand.
He says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping."
To the Scotsman he says, "You're in charge of shoveling."
And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then says, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you men to make a dent in that pile of sand."
So when the foreman returns after being away for a couple of hours the pile of sand is untouched.
He asks the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?"
The Italian replies, "I no hava no broom. You saida to the Chinesea fella that he a wasa ina charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere."
Then the foreman turns to the Scotsman and says "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replies, "Aye, that ye did laddie, boot ah could nae get meself a shoovel. Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldna fin' him neither."
The foreman is really angry now. He storms off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese gent.
Just then, the Chinese man leaps out from behind the pile of sand and yells, "SUPPLIES!!!!"
